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Do not mention anthing to her. Nothing good can come of it.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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I would let it go. She is the one who took the steps and now she faces the consequences of her actions. You are quite detached and do not need to get involved.

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^^ ditto ^^

You also don't need to be dragged in to any more unpleasantness.

It was the w of the om that came to you ... rest on that knowledge and (even though it's not right) feel a bit of smugness and self-satisfaction that all is not well in the new R your WAW has gotten herself into. May help you to detach even further!


WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09
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I agree....I do get some satisfaction from it. I'll let it go for now.....


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
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Whoa! I've been away from a computer for a few days (and a bit of a mental mess too)

Miss a day..miss a lot I see.

I'd have a hard time sitting on this one. If you were to say anything you'd have to be really careful how you went about it. Probably best to leave it alone...for now.


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
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Well I tried. Tonight was the first night we've seen each other since Thursday. I have not called her, not texted her, anything....she has called and texted me concerning the kids and I knew she wanted to drag it out but I ended the conversations.

She came by tonight while the SD was at bball practice to get a few more things and to see the kids. She tried getting me into the R talk and an argument and I told her I was not going to get into that with her. I could immediately tell the last few days have been hard on her. Anyways, she was pushing my buttons on me having told others we had split up and she is very concerned about how she is being perceived (she should be) and so forth. Accusing me of bashing her and yada yada....so I let her have it. Told her 50% of what I knew (from last night) and how did she think of her perception now that our small town has a pre conceived notion of her - regardless of whether it is true or not. I firmly let her know I had nothing to do with the sitation she has put herself in and that she was going to have to deal with it. She was freaked out. I let her know it in a way that indicated I was telling her for her benefit and that I thought she should at least know what she is potentially in for. Honestly, I would expect the same from her...don't know why.

I am fully detached and she is fully aware of it. She is an emotional wreck right now. She said things like "You don't want anything to do with me anyways" and "You don't want me here", etc.....

She has texted me 3 times since she left. Should be an interesting week...she will pick them up from my house tomorrow after school. Be the start of the first week for them (and her) in their cozy 2BR apt...


Last edited by wanttobebetter; 10/05/09 01:25 AM.

M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
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Oh boy, she just called me. She is really breaking down....saying how sick she is, how she needs help, "How can you forgive the unforgivable?", etc. Never have seen her like this. I mean totally messed up.

I was strong for her and reallly listened..we had to end the call because the kids needed to get to bed. I left the door open for her to call back.....


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
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Posts: 719
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Originally Posted By: wanttobebetter
I was strong for her and reallly listened..we had to end the call because the kids needed to get to bed. I left the door open for her to call back.....


Good. Be there for her. Let her know that you understand how she is feeling. Be compassionate. I let my W know that I forgave her, but that is your call.

It sounds like she needs a white knight right now.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 780
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I agree. Be there for her ...if you can be.


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 234
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I was. She did call back. I had NO idea of the seriousness of her issues. She is facing serious bi-polar issues and all of her effort has been in hiding that. She is really sick....

I let her know I was there for her. I really listened and she told me how right I have been all along. She said she gets the maddest at me when I am right. Last night she really wanted to talk to a C but she is so scared at having to really talk. She also said she knows that by this morning she will have represses everything and probably would not admit to anything she said last night.

can anyone give me advice on what to do next? She is really reaching and I am there for her.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
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