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Joined: Sep 2009
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Oh man you have got to be kidding me. I went to a divorce support group meeting tonight. I did it for myself. It was actually a great experience and so glad I went. I really stepped out of my comfort zone but it was great.

Anyways, while I was there she texted me and asked if I cared about stopping at the store because we needed qtips and dishwasher detergent!!

Tell me what happens next??


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
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Here's what happens next...

You have conversations in your head. You play your role and hers. Here's how it goes.

You: Seriously? Q-Tips and Soap? You're freaking leaving me, destroying our family, breaking my heart, and tearing our wedding vows to shreds and you want me to pick up Q-Tips and Dish Soap!?

Her: Fine, I'll go to the store myself and get them myself then if it's too much trouble for you.

You: No you're completely missing the point here. You don't assult a man, treat him like he's a piece of trash, and then say "hey pal, how are ya. Can you stop by the store for me?"
What the hell? How do you turn it on and off like this?

Her: I'm not going to get into this with you again. This is why I am leaving. I hate.....blah, blah, blah.


Then you realize it's a no win situation. She's just so fogged up right now and that her emotional ping pong ball really is just bouncing all over the place. So you stop, don't have the above conversation take place outloud,go get the Q-Tips, laugh at how rediculous the situation is, take them home, and have no expectation for a thank you.



Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
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And that is what I did. Stopped and got them and brought them home. Realized she didn't look close enough and we already had a new box of dishwasher deterget. I told her "Hey we have one back here". She said "I must not have looked close enough...I"ll just take one with me". Ha ha, so funny you cold hearted b****.

My 5 year D is learning how to spell and she goes around and writes MOM and DAD on everything now. It just tears me up to see that and the pain that they are going to be subject to for really nothing other than my wife can't get her head on straight and face life for what it is.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 780
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Ouch.

The coldness comes and goes at my house. The concept of leaving doesn't really change though.


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 234
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My Bday is coming up this Sunday and at one time we were all going to do something together. Since she has been having such a negative projection lately, I told her I would take the kids to my sister's as she wanted to have a B-day party for me.

It will be interesting to see, if anything, she does for me on Sunday. It doesn't matter one way or the other but I am anxious to see.

A part of me is ready for her to go...a part of me will be very said when she does.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 780
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We've been through both of our B'days and our 10 year anniversary during this. SUCKS!!!

As for the mixed feelings on her going, I'm right with you. She won't be able to miss you until after she's gone though. It may take a few months. Just make sure that her impression of you from now until then is of someone worth missing.


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 234
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Got that. I need the time for my own self improvement anyways. She has already seen the positive changes I have made. The trick is showing her these changes stick. I like them for myself so who cares anyways? There are times when I feel so good...but then there are times when I get dragged down. I know time will even it out.

She is supposed to pack this weekend so it should be interesting to say the least!!!!


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 780
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Are you going somewhere or are you going to sit there through it?

I'm not sure how I'm going to work this with my W. I have a feeling she is going to transition little by little instead of make a clean break.


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
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Quote:
I'm not sure how I'm going to work this with my W. I have a feeling she is going to transition little by little instead of make a clean break.


"I know this is hard on all of us. But I have decided that it's best if you move out in one move instead of dragging things out."


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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Honestly I don't care if she moves out little by little.

What I meant by not knowing how I'll handle it is more of the do I sit in the other room while she packs and hauls her stuff away or will I just make sure to be somewhere else that day.

I'm leaning on being someshere else.


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
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