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Originally Posted By: wanttobebetter
Pretty good. We all stayed here last night. T - we did see a Psych on Tuesday. He diagnosed here with BP and we got started on medicine that night. I understand it will take awhile for the effects to kick in so the next couple of weeks will need to taken easy.

It is almost like I have my old wife back. There is "I love you" talk, I am so grateful for you, you are such a man and father to step up when I need you, etc. Very nice things to hear that I haven't heard for so long. The physical intimacy is coming around as well. I just hope we have hit the low spot (I can't imagine much lower) and we can slowly rebuild our R. We have planned out the next few days/nights. I think her being forgiven (but not forgotten) has made is easier for her to work on reconciling. Me getting to meet with her C while she was there also made a big difference because he explained to me what was going on her head and why she did a lot of stuff she did, w/o any thoughts on what she was doing and the consequences.

I love to write more but it has been a little busy around here smile

Thanks you guys for checking in. I owe a lot to the this board.


Excellent. Do you mind me asking what the psych put her on?

I'm interested because my W has tried a few different ADs and a couple of mood stabilizers. And I like to keep track of what people think of the different meds. My W and I noticed small changes in mood stability after about two weeks on a mood stabilizer. But it took W 6 weeks to titrate up to her current dose and I don't believe she has received its full affect yet (we are 2 months into it right now). I have been told it can be 4 months before the full affects can be seen. This is a long process, be patient.

Good to hear things are moving in the right direction.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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I cannot remember the actual spelling...lictum is phoenetic.

He also put her on a sleep aid called sequetrol (?) that he said also functions as a mood stabilizer but causes drowsiness.

I know about the patience thing......go slow but go in the right direction. I am scared as you can be inside though. I was fully detached and ready to go in my own direction and then all this happens. Wish we could have go help earlier before so much damage was done. Maybe it took hitting bottom to start going up.

I'm also checking your sitch everyday. Wishing the best for you as well.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
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The only ones I know that sound like that are Lithium and Lamictal.

My W was on Lamictal and was doing very well. Unfortunately, she had an allergic reaction to it 4 weeks in that can be life-threatening (rash). So she had to be taken off it immediately. This really screwed with her brain chemistry and is when our M really took a hit. I was much at fault; I didn't understand what was happening and did not react well.

Take care.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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Yep, Lamictal. I was advised about the rash....hopefully she does well with it and doesn't have the side effects.

I feel like I have a lot of knowledge about everything right now and to me that gives me confidence. It sure does not help not picturing some images that are in my head. Man I don't want to have to go through what I did again.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

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We have been talking more and I cqn tell she appreciates me way more than I am used to. In fact, she put her rings back on yesterday and seems to be really committed to making us work. I am still a little nervous though...I guess gunshy would be a better word. I just don't want her to pull back. I have told myself to take it slow, make her want more and to keep up the changes I have made for myself. She also wants to go church together on Sunday which is a big plus. Any thoughts or advice on how to keep the momentum going?


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

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This is all very good stuff, especially church. Church was one of the first things to go when my W started wandering. If your W is anything like mine, there will be pullbacks. My W syas she is a "feather in the wind" and considers me to be a "rock". Another bipolar friend said "its like a candle in a hurricane". Her moods will swing; this is something that you will have to accept. You will have a desire to fix her moods; understand that you can't. Understand that she does not like the mood swings either, but must accept it too. Take solace that it is cyclical. I am still working on this, it is hard.

I am gunshy too. Its easy to understand why when their moods can swing so far, so fast. You need to be confident in yourself and be the man that your W needs during her hard times. Which may mean just leaving her alone and letting her work it out on her own. Be the "rock".

Last edited by tristan; 10/09/09 05:38 PM.

Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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Just an update...things have been really good....too good almost. She is really making efforts on her end and still feels a lot of guilt for all she has done and has been really good with the kids lately. Our family unit is really benefitting from this and makes us both feel better. The intimacy is back.....it really is getting easier to be comfortable around her.

Had a good night last night....the neighbors had a party and she was really nervous going due to her ignoring everyone and having moved out...she was worried how everyone would perceive her. I told her if we were going to work this out we would have to get over that....we ended up going together and had a great time. She thanked me later for talking her into going as she feels much better about everything.

So all is good...hope we can keep it up and make it even better!

This would not have been possible w/o prayer and this website.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

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Good to hear WTBB. My W is nervous to meet my parents again, she is not sure she is ready yet. But D5s birthday is next weekend and I would like for my parents to be there for it. We will see.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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WTBB - I hope things are still progressing nicely!


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
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Still going pretty good. I do not like the feeling of being in limbo though. I have some pretty tough times trying to decide on what to do. I feel like there is another shoe waiting somewhere to drop and we are going every which way now seeing as how we have an apt and a house. She is aware of this and the problems that it causes (kids are always wondering where we are staying??).

I love this woman and really want things to work out but I just do not have the security of a real relationship right now and that is what I really, really want. With all of this going on it makes it tough sometimes to focus on everything else.

While we are a good place in rebuilding our R, the uncertainity of it all is always right there.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
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