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#1827627 - 08/27/09 10:38 PM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: MrBond]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Originally Posted By: stuck808
Overall you did holding it together.

Except for that "looking cute" part.

So goes another day.


ah, it happens...he didn't look that cute, I just had an alternate version of our life run in my mind while doing the dishes...all fantasy, no reality.

Oh, and I sure as sh*t did not say he looked cute if that was the impression you got. grin


Edited by aliveandkicking (08/27/09 10:39 PM)
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#1827658 - 08/27/09 11:21 PM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: aliveandkicking]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
But the kids...aargh, they are still suffering. frown
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#1827660 - 08/27/09 11:24 PM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: SmileysPerson]
orangedog Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1181
Nice job. Focus on the kids.


Edited by orangedog (08/27/09 11:24 PM)
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"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh

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#1827675 - 08/28/09 12:42 AM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: orangedog]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Forgot to mention that prior to H coming over I put away anything private (journal, DB book etc).

On my kitchen counter was a card with a name and number and the word mediation. I left it there.

At one point H asked playfully, "Hey, do you know who so and so is?" (the name on the card). I just smiled at him and went on with my business.

So, that is out there...
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#1827715 - 08/28/09 07:17 AM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: aliveandkicking]
gucci loafer Offline
Member

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1408
Perfect on the "having plans" (good advice Coach)

You did good.... wink

I know.. I know... You just can't figure us men out...

Quote:
Is it working? If he is pursuing and it stresses me out so? I find it hard to focus and move on like this.


Seems to be working rather well....
As far as you being stressed? You were stressed before. You seem to have been stressed through this whole process. Stress is YOUR issue. I would recommend to quit blaming him for YOUR stress. He can't make you feel stressed. That is your own doing.

Sorry that what works the best seems like game playing, but I didn't invent the concept. Just observed it and realize it is reality. Follow reality. Some men need a challenge and want the chase. He is picking up the chase. Don't play hard to get BE hard to get.


Stay on this course.


Edited by gucci loafer (08/28/09 07:17 AM)

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#1827836 - 08/28/09 10:55 AM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: gucci loafer]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
You know Gucci, first of all, I've noticed a real change in your tone here and I see that you are really helping a lot of people so, thanks for that. Second, I woke up feeling like cr*p today and was hoping I'd get knocked back into shape so thanks for showing up.

Quote:
As far as you being stressed? You were stressed before. You seem to have been stressed through this whole process. Stress is YOUR issue. I would recommend to quit blaming him for YOUR stress. He can't make you feel stressed. That is your own doing.


Yep, regardless of the circumstances, my stress is my responsibility and I need to work that out.

I must say that in the moment when he brought up the play..."I don't think it works for me" just flowed out and felt perfect because it meant a few different things...

I think cuz I am about to start the ball rolling on a sep agreement and likely filing (maybe mediation), I feel a little f*cked with...but, really, I need to keep moving forward.

Great post Gucci, really what I needed. Thanks.
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#1827928 - 08/28/09 02:23 PM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: aliveandkicking]
CityGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/19/09
Posts: 2612
I have been thinking of you and trying to read when I can. Things are *very* hectic right now... a sick dog, 3 ill family members and an H that is well, you know. You sound good, strong, centered and focused and I am proud of you!

Keeping you in my thoughts and sending you strength!

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#1827930 - 08/28/09 02:30 PM Re: PEEPS...help a mother out, please... [Re: CityGirl]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Thanks CG! I hope things calm down for you soon.

I think Gucci made an excellent point about my stress...it is mine after all.
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#1828224 - 08/29/09 01:29 AM A New Normal...getting there. [Re: aliveandkicking]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Had a wonderful day with the kids and some friends. Went somewhere I had memories of having gone with H and the kids in the past...but more profound than the mild sadness was a feeling of gratitude for what was and gratitude for what is now.

Was with a soon to be WAW friend...tough to have her acknowledge how much happier I seem. I feel that is my duty no matter what, to be happier, not a testament to the benefits of divorce. Interesting conversation.

In the car, S9 asked if H and I are still married... crazy and S6 whimpered that he wants daddy to come home...tough stuff. But it is what it is. I honestly don't know what to say.
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#1828307 - 08/29/09 10:45 AM Re: A New Normal...getting there. [Re: aliveandkicking]
harpo Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 102
Loc: Pa.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking


In the car, S9 asked if H and I are still married... crazy and S6 whimpered that he wants daddy to come home...tough stuff. But it is what it is. I honestly don't know what to say.



Just be honest.let them know that Mom and Dad are going through tough times.but no matter what happens you BOTH still love them.I know it's hard and the hurt runs deep.and it really pi$$es me of when they say the kids will be fine.but we have to be above all that and be strong for ourselves and our children.
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H 49
W 42
S 19
S 14
S 12
S 8
D 6
M 19
Bomb dropped 2/09
Separated 5/09
still hopeful, praying

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