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Joined: Sep 2009
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I never realized how crazy some of this can be. Makes me really appreciate the good times that we did have. I'm torn on her moving out.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Apr 2009
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You can love the person the she was and smile. I still love thast woman I married 7 years ago. She was a wonderful wife and companion. But the reality is that she doesn't exist anymore. The memories we had, I still consider a gift and will always cherish.

The thing is that people change over the years and a marriage must change with it.


Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 234
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Tonight I stopped and bought food to make a dinner tonight....a special one. I don't expect anything in return. She said I was setting myself up for disappointment. I didn't let her see that her saying that hurt. I really want to go throw it all in the garbage but i'm going to make it with a smile.

She said she is still signing her lease tomorrow. This would be so much easier if we didn't the greatest kids....


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 234
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Well she's packing stuff while I am typing this.....guess she is going through with this and its really over frown

Found out she moving into a 2 BR apt with 3 kids. She must really want out of here.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 897
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This is a rough time - I remember.

However, I recall that after W moved out, she eventually started hanging out, and we got to the point where we were spending 7-8 hours in a day as a family, and were together probably 5-6 days a week.

Unfortunately, she has severe emotional issues, but in a normal scenario, it would have been at the minimum a great friendship, and the best case, a reconciliation...

Keep your chin up. Stand firm on this separation, it is not all it'll be cracked up to be, and the temptation is to extend helpful hands as a way of "being the nice guy", but don't forget she is giving up "husband privileges".

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I'm praying for you. The first few days are very, very, very hard. Keep on the boards and keep track of positives. The negatives lurk around every corner.


Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11
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It's not over 'till its over. Continue to take care of yourself. You will get through it.

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Thanks guys. Wish you were here so I could buy a round for you guys.

Mine has emotional issues....she is just starting to realize it and I hope they don't take her over before she gets help.

I will stand tall on this separation. I prefer to call it that....she will say we are just doing this until we get divorced but I know not to believe everything she says.

Her head is empty and she is running on emotion right now.


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 234
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It gets better....I will see her almost every day. Our youngest D is too young to get on the bus by herself so the W will bring the SD by my (our) house every morning because the W is moving outside of the school boundaries. Then she will have to pick up the SD every day and the D if it is her week. It is actually convenient for both of us.

I really have to find that line between helping her out and not enabling her because this was her decision. Pisses me off that the 3 kids are being shoved into a room together because she wants to "find herself".

I will be back here often...


M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 223
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Hang in there my friend. My XW has mental/ emotional issues as well. The day she left, I remember her saying "it's my turn to be selfish." I felt that all the work I had done for the past year meant nothing to her. But now, all this time since, she sees that I had made the effort to change and it was good. In fact, becuase I had worked on myself and changed, she got the insiration to get help and goto therapy.

In a way, separation may provide the separation your wife needs to get a handle on things and see the situation more clearly. Perhaps even miss you. Stick with GALs!


Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08
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