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#1859348 - 10/20/09 11:41 PM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
NoLongerHere Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 1485
And I did say, "you don't have to worry about losing me anymore. It's done."

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#1859385 - 10/21/09 06:49 AM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
(((Bill))) - that took such a lot of courage. How do you feel now, need I ask??

What were her words before she left for the movies - has she gone and not to return, does she know how serious you are, is she intending to do as you have told her and go .....??

What's your next move??
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1859406 - 10/21/09 08:25 AM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
givingitmyall Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 3844
Loc: Southeast
Bill,

That took a lot of courage, but you did the right thing. While I doubt you feel good right now, you should be proud of yourself and realize how much strength you have. Probably strength you did not know you had.

No one knows what your W will choose to do, but, regardless, the path you have taken is the one of recovery for YOU. You can only improve from here. Either she comes along for the ride under a new set of rules or she does not, and then the problem is really with her.

Stay busy, focus on improving yourself and let whatever else may happen just happen. You KNOW where you're going. I doubt she does.
_________________________
Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
Current

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#1859432 - 10/21/09 09:03 AM Re: Need input [Re: givingitmyall]
NoLongerHere Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 1485
Hey guys -

I don't know, I'm just sad. But I feel like I've gotten a piece of myself back. I don't feel sick anymore.

She didn't say anything before leaving last night, just said bye to the boys as she walked out the door.

She came home, went on downstairs. Came and knocked on my door to ask what was wrong with the internet. I didn't tell her I'd turned the router off, figuing, she's not carrying on in my house anymore, but I guess that's just petty, isn't it? And going to cause more friction. I don't need to be invested in controlling her anymore.

Well, she said sorry to bother you, and went on back downstairs. That has been it.

Starting a new day. Will see how it goes.

Thanks for checking in, guys.

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#1859439 - 10/21/09 09:13 AM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
givingitmyall Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 3844
Loc: Southeast
Stay busy today. Really busy.

Treat yourself to lunch somewhere fun.
_________________________
Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
Current

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#1859446 - 10/21/09 09:32 AM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
Steve McQueen Offline
Member

Registered: 01/15/09
Posts: 1866
Originally Posted By: BillM
I guess that's just petty, isn't it?


i wouldnt worry.

I was in the yard this past spring walking around looking my landscape. I hear this shouting across the street. didnt pay to much attention to it. then I hear a chain saw and my neighbor cuts a rectangle in the wall on the second story of his house and pushes the mattress through it. couple minutes later hes in the driveway backing his ford f350 repeatedly into his wifes bmw. pulls out of the driveway shouting you F'ing whore.

you handled yourself with alot of control.

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#1859479 - 10/21/09 09:59 AM Re: Need input [Re: Steve McQueen]
Esox Offline
Member

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 131
Bill,

I know you feel sick right now, but you are on your way to getting better. You lanced the infected wound and it hurt like hell. But it needed lancing. Now perhaps you will begin to feel better. You have taken action and are no longer her dupe. Isn't it amazing that they can straigh out lie to your face? This isn't the woman you married it is something other.

Go out tonight. Hopefully with a friend or two. And break the router if you have to . . . she doesn't have the right to conduct her affair from your marital home. Don't you dare enable her to do so. Make her run off somewhere to conduct her smutty business, not there in house where you and your kids live.

And TELL THE OTHER MAN'S WIFE. TODAY. She deserves to know what is happening in her life. This isn’t vindictive. This is the ethical thing to do. She needs to begin protecting herself against her husband’s adultery. Help her do that.
_________________________
I'm a man . . .
But I can change . . .
If I have to . . .
I guess . . .

The Man's Prayer - Red Green

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#1859504 - 10/21/09 10:22 AM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
I'm glad you are feeling better. I wish I had been as strong as you quicker in this process like you. I just went through the sick feeling for months and months.

I don't think you are being petty about the router. If that's a boundary for you that you don't want her to contact him anymore in your house, then that isn't petty at all.

((((((((Bill)))))))))
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

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#1859506 - 10/21/09 10:24 AM Re: Need input [Re: Esox]
NoLongerHere Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 1485
There is no OM's wife. I considered confronting the guy himself, but doesn't seem like much of a point.

I'm torn on the router. Maybe I will leave it off.

Thanks guys.

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#1859514 - 10/21/09 10:29 AM Re: Need input [Re: Steve McQueen]
CABBR Offline
Member

Registered: 06/26/09
Posts: 169
Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
Originally Posted By: BillM
I guess that's just petty, isn't it?


i wouldnt worry.

I was in the yard this past spring walking around looking my landscape. I hear this shouting across the street. didnt pay to much attention to it. then I hear a chain saw and my neighbor cuts a rectangle in the wall on the second story of his house and pushes the mattress through it. couple minutes later hes in the driveway backing his ford f350 repeatedly into his wifes bmw. pulls out of the driveway shouting you F'ing whore.

you handled yourself with alot of control.


I just LOVE that. It's better than the youtube clip from Where the buffalo Roam that SP posted the other day.
_________________________
M:49, W:47
M:22,T:23
S9, S6
W probable MLC
Bomb: 4/09
In-house separation and
Separate bedrooms since 4/09
EA busted: 7/09
W filed: 7/09
Kids unaware of D filing

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