It's all in the recovery Rabbit and I think your follow up text saved you. It was just a comment and you're back on your happy, independent way! Enjoy your day
Don't feel stupid - easy mistake, just laugh it off but steer clear of any further contact until you hear from H, OK?? 2x4 time!! <grin>
Will have to catch you tomorrow as I am about to let the furbies in and then we are off to bear garden (night night bears - night night garden)!!
Try to enjoy your day Miss Rabbit ... hop along now with a spring in your step and start planning your next pincer move on H!! (.... but not until he contacts you first - agreed)?!!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Had a missed call from H earlier, but decided to ignore him! H rang this evening very upbeat, although I was a little cold shouldery as was still miffed about being ignored this morning. So quite dratted that his phone had played up this morning and only when he got a ars*y email from his boss's boss did he realise that it wasnt working and turned it off and on again for it to spew messages at him amongst them mine!
Anyway he didnt seem perturbed with my txts at all and asked after Babycakes's vet visit, hopefully stitches out monday, but more antibiotics possibly as wound a little angry in centre, but she is gonna be grounded for at least another week or two I reckon.. Then he asked about me, to which I was honest and said I felt quite beaten up still and was taking my painkillers again. He asked had I ridden madam, which I told him yes monday, tuesday no due to chiro, and today no as I was hanging around unsure of the money situaton, no apology from him but then its not his fault or would it really have hurt to confirm him transferring some money over? So hopefully he will assume my less than cheery disposition is due to that and being woken up by babycakes in the night.
He was quite chatty about work, he has been asked to work another couple of weeks, but as that part isnt quite ready to finish he was gonna have a week off then do the two weeks, the email from boss's boss asked him to detail the work needed so boss's boss could do it, well that is a complete joke boss's boss is not known as "dum dum" for nothing and so H is going to tell him quite frankly he will get info over his dead body! Validate H about this but not too enthuasitically as I have done this before and fallen into the "you dont want to do it like that" trap..
We laughed about the bed comment, he said he had been in it for quite a few nights and I joked that it was the bed said it was missing him it preferred equal weight of bodies..
So he said he'd be up wednesday, what are planning doing says I, ooh maybe a few days up at the trains and if you like we could do something nice together, that would be nice I replied, so will have to think of things to do rather than just dunno lol! He said he'd probably be online tomorrow night and I said Im out for a bit dont know when I will be in. So he said he phone me in a couple of days, and I joked well you know how and he replied yes Im doing it now!
Just wasnt the life and soul of the party on the phone, Im tired, sore and a bit confused, he is acting like normal but were not normal were separated, do I start behaving like a dating couple or what?
H has leased his place till end of November, assumed he would have to give one months notice on not renewing, or renew for three months which will be end of Feb, my only big step is to get him home by xmas and start 2010 together, but am I expecting too much?
One befuzzled Rabbit going off to bed!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Oh dear, on the work front! Isn't that typical that your texts got caught up but perhaps that diffused the situation anyhow as H had to much other stuff to be concerned about.
For what it's worth (FWIW) I don't think that you can afford to act like a dating couple yet (((Rabbit))). I am not sure that H is quite in that place but I could be wrong, of course. I think that you have his attention but he's still on the knife edge. I do think that it will come - and soon but I think that you need to let him do a bit more work yet and you need to stay strong and hold your current resolve.
You are doing fine - you've had some great wins. Don't spoil it now by trying to run before you are not yet up and walking! Remember why they are called baby steps ... yours are so much more improved but they still need some work and time to perfect the gait!
Be patient - remember how every one says that at the start - you will need patience - and lots of it"?
Glad that BC is doing well. Make sure that wound is well healed before they take the sutures out. I took some out of my boy, a long time ago, and he had an unseen pocket of infection - seconds after the sutures were out, his wound opened up and I had to rush him back for theatre and restitching. Again, take your time and be patient!!
Hope that you get a better sleep tonight. Something is waking me at 02.40hrs lately and I have yet to work it out.
Chat later!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
More positive Rabbit today I think, although Babycakes is gonna be stuffed if she keeps up this new game of lets wake mummy up by poking her in the face with the bucket cos she is bored and wants scritchies lol!
So I was awake bright and early this morning and took S a cuppa which was received well, he smiled and said you know the way to my heart mum, I always used to get up and wake him with a cuppa tea before he went to school, maybe its something I should do more often if it keeps him sweet!
Shall spend some time pampering and riding madam today, she has been rather neglected in all this upheaval, thank goodness she is on part livery so is well loved and cared for by yard owner and staff, although she seems to be pleased to see mummy these days a far cry from the mare who was so grumpy and unloved when I bought her several years ago. It much nicer to be greated by a wuffle than her teeth lol!
Bought a fab little jumper & skirt yesterday, black ribbed jumper and the little skirt is in a check but its a diamond shape, 21" in length sexy/sassy but not mutton dressed up as lamb, think it will look smart for the funeral with knee length black boots and maybe a colourful scarf/jewellry to jazz it up.
I have some thoughts on the funeral that I would really like to ask H if we can go as husband and wife and would he mind if I wore my wedding ring, but this time its not out of embarrassment more out of respect for dear friend, she didnt know we have separated and would have been devasted, you see we were the couple that would be in love for ever like her and her beloved, a real teenage sweetheart story so to speak. Also as a great deal of the people there will be old friends (and of course my parents and possibly my sister who do know) and a right old nosy bunch I really dont want to have her day spoilt by tittle tattle about us splitting up.. Just not sure how to put this to H and as funeral isnt till the 14th I have time to ponder on this one..
I do think your right Nell its just a bit too soon for "official dating" although I think thats how H is seeing it, he still has that air of "cut and run" think I need to let him do the phoning, and be sexy/sassy rabbit when he does, maybe the odd cheeky/sexy txt from me for encouragement, and take it SLOW.. I still have a month before he has to give notice, so will just have to work my socks off in that time..
I have my first tap dancing class tonight havent done any since S was fiveish, really looking forward to it and maybe that along with getting on madam again will help shift these last ten pounds or so! Well need to get on will pop past everyone later
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Oh Rabbit - I'm sorry. So wrapped up in my own misery of late that I forgot that you were in mourning for your friend. How insensitive of me .... but hold on to yourself as I am bringing out a BIG 2x4 here. ...
What on earth are you even planning to ask H if it's OK to wear your wedding ring for?? Why have you even taken it off?? What is wrong with you?? That's is YOUR ring and you are STILL married. If you want to wear it girl, you go right ahead and who gives a hoot who says or thinks anything of it ... that's your right as a married woman, which you STILL ARE. Don't you dare ask H for permission ... [said with a smile but hands on hips and a stamp for effect]!!
Your outfit sounds befitting the occasion but you should definitely have that band on your finger, OK?
Yes, one month to DB your butt off so that H does not renew the lease or take out another one but slowly - very slowly now - no Rabbit in the headlight scenario's OK?
Good luck at tap dancing - my sister started back last year and loved it but I can't manage that fast pace as my back is shot from all my years of nursing! My hips just wouldn't hold out, either!
Off and enjoy madam today and give her some special cuddles. Was thinking of you this afternoon when I was out doing a visit - had to go through the shopping mall and came across the pet store with all the puppies and kittens in the window - just like it was back home until years ago when it was banned. I still hate that about Australia but maybe one day they will see the error of it (sorry Aussie buds but it does make us Brits cringe)!
Catch you later maybe - I am really tired today and want to spend an early evening in bed with the furbies! I also need to give my hands/finger a rest from this keyboard!
Have a good one, Rabbit.
Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 10/01/0908:58 AM.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Thanks for the support Cas, sorry I didnt say hi early you snuck in between posts!
Originally Posted By: Eskimo Nell
What on earth are you even planning to ask H if it's OK to wear your wedding ring for?? Why have you even taken it off?? What is wrong with you?? That's is YOUR ring and you are STILL married. If you want to wear it girl, you go right ahead and who gives a hoot who says or thinks anything of it ... that's your right as a married woman, which you STILL ARE. Don't you dare ask H for permission ... [said with a smile but hands on hips and a stamp for effect]!!
Totally understand what and why you are saying this! A bit more explanation is needed. Not sure if I journalled this but in the two and half months before H left, we were invited to a party of an old friend who was also my bridesmaid, me in my embarrassment of all that was happening decreed WE as in me, H and S shouldnt go! Didnt want to go with H not wearing his wedding ring and as wedding ring mark is still evident lots of tittle tattle! He had kept leaving it off at my parents 50th wedding anniversary party the week before so I knew he would do his best to make a statement of it! H went out for the day to do something else then went behind my back to the party and I was left hanging high and dry not knowing where he was and not able to track him down because I knew it wouldnt only make things worse, he finally rang me at two in the morning and in a stroppy fourteen year old boy way said I didnt phone you because of where I was and you could have phoned me! It still leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, he tried to pretend it had been an impromptu thing but it was what it was he went behind my back and did what he wanted like a petulant school boy! It was only three nights since I had start taking my tablets and I felt thoroughly dumped and let down, he lost my trust, love and admiration all in one foul swoop that night! The upshot of it was I took my wedding ring off and havent worn it since!
Thing is I dont want him to believe I am wearing it or asking him to go with me to cover up the embarrassment of it all, I am proud/no longer frightened to say that I am fighting for my marriage, that I have made a lot of mistakes and Im trying to change for the better for me and hopefully to win H's love back. I just think that a funeral is totally the wrong place to make a statement about us and neither was a party but then I didnt HE did, although I dont think he said anything him being there without me was statement enough! and to add insult to injury he told my friend I was busy with the horse, bet she felt fantastic knowing that! ARrrhhh this digs up sore ground not sure how to handle it and I know its certainly gonna have to be talked about at some point with H if we reconcile!
Anyway hope that makes more sense and perhaps between us all we can find a way to ask for what I want without it appearing wrong I dont want to not go to this funeral like I didnt go to the party out of embarrassment!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
