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#1833736 - 09/07/09 10:24 PM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
OK - here's the thing. You guys won't be seeing quite so much of me in the next few months ... I've had to move my counselling to evening appointments instead of Monday lunches AND I have had to remake my Friday hair appointment for Saturday. Why?? ...

... I GOT THE JOB!!!!

Oh ladeeeez (and gents!), I can't tell you what a weight off my shoulders this will be up until December. It's only short term, as we knew, but it gives me immense breathing space.

When I got the call this morning, first thing I wanted to do was call H and tell him. Now I don't know what to do ... I could say nothing and just pay my half share of the bills into the account every month or I could let him know and then he can make the next move. What to do??

I don't want to risk him finding out from the gossips again, as he did last time and yet I don't want him to think that I am telling him just to make contact. I also don't want him to think that I haven't contacted him in the past two weeks as I have been at work and too busy to have done so!

Any suggestions? I'm kind of thinking that it may improve communication between us if he feels less financially pressured and yet I don't want to cave in on my DB technique now that I have struggled for this long. A conundrum, eh??

Thoughts please ... I start work on Thursday!
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1833748 - 09/07/09 10:35 PM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
girlfromoz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 885
Oh Nell, I am so happy for you and you must remain positive as it could become permanent after December.

That is so fantastic, it will make such a difference to you each day getting out there with other people.

Of course, it is a great weight off your shoulders, you are now independent Nell again what a 180.

I am not sure of the telling you H, and I am not good on replies as evidenced by me yesterday, so I would hold off a bit until others have been able to give you some guidance, but I know how tempting it must be, you would feel like shouting from the rooftops.

WAY TO GO NELL!!!!
((((((((Nell)))))))
_________________________

Trying to keep hope alive

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#1833762 - 09/07/09 10:47 PM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: girlfromoz]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Thanks Oz ... as you can imagine, I am elated! (Imagine how I would be if H were coming home)!!

This is a great 180 and I know that H will be overjoyed for me when he does know - really, he will. He has seen the struggle that I have had since being out of work commencing last February and I know that he realises that it has affected me in every way possible. I so hope that my new 'job' may become permanent for the new year! How wonderful that would be?

Yes, it sounds like it's working within a team, though I will have lots of independence and autonomy because of the nature of the role. I will be meeting people though and that's crucial.

Can't wait to go over to the supermarket this afternoon and tell my friend that I am the new Injury Management person, so she best not go off sick or she will have me to deal with!!!! Funny as ...

The sun is shining in more ways than one today, my friends. I'm going to capitalise ... get changed out of my gardening stuff, go shop for packed lunches (!!) then home, treadmill and gardening, in that order.

Will catch up with you all later and would really appreciate any thoughts on whether or not to tell H at this stage. BTW - I have just put a few more $ into the joint account, to appease the situation! Really down to the last bones of my nest egg now though. Hope that payday is soon!
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1833848 - 09/08/09 02:43 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Decided not to say anything to H at this point. If he asks, when and if he notices money going in to the account, I shall tell him but basic details only.

Until then ... I remain silent and a little bit happier of the new (short term) independence! Still feeling sick over the M problems though :o(
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
#1833857 - 09/08/09 03:14 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
girlfromoz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 885
Probably a good idea to stay quiet for the moment, let's see if he does notice and that draws him out.

Of course your M problems still make you feel sick but woo hoo what a great day for you on the job front, that is cause for celebration.
_________________________

Trying to keep hope alive

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#1833859 - 09/08/09 03:17 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: girlfromoz]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Sure is ... just thinking that the day has gone quite well - and much quicker. This must be how WASs feel most days ... out of sight out of mind, busy, busy and all that.

No wonder it's easier for them than it is for us. We just need to do what they do ... GAL and forget them for a while. I know, easier, much easier, said than done!
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
#1833867 - 09/08/09 04:23 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Lost Rabbit Offline
Member

Registered: 08/26/09
Posts: 1317
Fantastic news Nell I am so pleased for you, new job is certainly a huge 180 and GAL all combined. As for H I would start putting money into the joint account and wait till he notices, then if he makes contact make sure you tell him when you started work so that he doesnt assume about the last two weeks. I am so excited for you and yes this time I am jealous lol! Will catch up later x
_________________________
____________________________

W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!

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#1833879 - 09/08/09 06:12 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Lost Rabbit]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Thanks Rabbit ... it's just such a relief after all this time. The contract is worded like these first three months are probationary (as is normal) and goes on to say that future salaries are not yet negotiated, which looks hopeful for extension.

Maybe they are 'try before we buy' and I certainly hope that is the case - unless I hate the job! Then it's a good out to stick purely to the 3 month contract! I really hope that something comes along for you soon too - I know the frustration of being out of work - honestly. I must have applied for 50 jobs recently and that's a big blow to someone who has always 'got' every job applied for in the past.

I think that, pretty much the advice from all, is to put my new salary in the bank and say nothing. If it smokes H out, I can tell him what he needs to be told. Meanwhile, the security of that money, along with my soon to arrive tax refund, sees me sitting pretty for a few months as long as I do not go out on any wild spends. That's a comforting thought and a position of security (temporary, though it is).

Just started reading DR again this afternoon. Took it in to the garden, sat with the mogles around me and smiled as I enjoyed the fruits of my garden labour, my new job and the fact that I am still coping - on my own.

Tomorrow: Lunch date, with Ruth at work where I did my agency shifts for five weeks. Maybe some new 'work clothes' shopping. Two weeks since I last saw H.
Thursday: Work - first day!
Friday: Work - second day, if I can survive the first day!
Saturday - hair cut. Morning tea with Julia.
Sunday - garden work.

Is this GAL'ing or what? Weeeelll, it's a start!!

Just changed my C appointments to fit around my new schedule. Dang thing is that means I can't go for two weeks now. They only have evening appointments on a Tuesday and they are booked until 22nd. Still, I guess that working will make a big difference to how I am feeling, anyhow.

OK - I'm having some supper and then making a fairly early night of it. Back tomorrow!

Good day, afternoon, evening or night to one and all! Sleep well folks and dream positive dreams. Wake with PMA by the bucket load.
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
#1833882 - 09/08/09 06:30 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Ooooh, ooooh, quick, quick everyone!!!!

Just got an email from H asking when I am available to talk this week - apparently, we urgently need to discuss the finances!! Not sure why that would be - mortgage: paid; bills: paid; ... nothing outstanding except that it leaves fresh air in the joint account but of course, I have two secondary plans for that!!

Evidently, my response will not be ready today as I am still not at home to Mr. Naughty! I think two days to respond should be good enough ... thinking to tell him the weekend would be good for me. Fed up of having 2.5hrs on a week night ... why not a few hours on a weekend?

I want him to come here in daylight hours and see the good job I have been taking of our home and gardens, not that I shall point it out!

Everyone's two cents worth are now requested - PLEASE make this next response that I have with him, count!!
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
#1833885 - 09/08/09 06:38 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Lost Rabbit Offline
Member

Registered: 08/26/09
Posts: 1317
Way to go Nell, if youre still on here pop over and read my thread I need a bit of advice!
_________________________
____________________________

W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!

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