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That's good LR just remember to validate where appropriate.



Trying to keep hope alive
girlfromoz #1851565 10/07/09 08:04 AM
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Was just closing down my laptop to go to bed when H msn's me!

Well tbh I have just about had it with him this week, not that he has done anything particular, but more I had a large dose of perspective and started to feel if it was done it was done! So I was definately short blunt and mysterious lol!

So anyway conversation goes like this!

H Hi
R Hi
H Hows the pu$$y? (probably referring back to our little joke)
R Shes fine (referring to real life babycakes)
H And you?
R Ok
H Just ok?
H Hip?
R Yep
H Did you get it fixed (chiro)
R Yep but its still a PITA
H PITA?

Rabbit was about to add a bit like you but H continued

H I would have thought with all the weight you have lost it would have eased it up
R Possibly

H Went on to talk about his photo class and tbh I turned off didnt want to hear about his life down there! Then wham! He started to talk about that despite how great the s*x was we needed to start talking and see if we could find out what we had back twenty three years ago, he said his wall was practically down, to which I reply probably not best to do this with any wall in place? Its just a pile of rubble really, to which I replied but Im not prepared to clear it up, as he replied just need a good jcb to shift it in one go, to which we both laughed.. Cant go into it all, I wanted to copy the msn blog so that I could reread it but closed it down by accident. He talked about how much fun us going to the pub had been the other night and he wanted to do more of just getting to know each other again, Im just me I said but Im not the same, he confessed that he had gone from not being able to bear to being in the same house with me to wanting to see if we could find IT again! Backed up with Im not promising anything and dont get the flags out! So it appears Im going to be really dating my H smile

Now I need some advice here, I had planned to go out on a pretend friend/datey thing tonight, put a mans name on the calendar which H hasnt seen so could be scrubbed over, but could guess that it would get back to H via S.. Part of me thinks this is wrong but I so needed to look like I was GAL in the evenings. H said it would be nice if we could do something together, but couldnt decide whether he was coming up wed late or thursday.. But did say not to cancel anything on his behalf which I definitely wasnt planning too lol! So what do you think folks do I still do this or is it a tad too dangerous bearing the circumstances.


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If H is talking about the wall being almost down and the need for relationship talks, I wouldn't complicate things, Rabbit.

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Yes Im inclined to agree with you Cas, think I'll add a girls name on the calendar make it look like a group outing and still go out but not too glam, just dressed nicely. I just didnt want to rub it out as he said not to cancel anything and it might look too pursuing if I cancelled mysterious man!


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I agree - don't over-complicate things Rabbit - could backfire, just remember what happened with Oz and her subsequent advice, OK??


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Back pedalling plans as we speak lol!


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Rabbit,

Agree with Nell and Cas. The second course of action sounds right. Let H pursue a bit. Reel him in nice and slowly........

Will be watching to see what develops.

Nell, if you have time would you please give the condensed version of what happened with Oz? I remember reading some of that sitch, but didn't get the complete picture. (Thanks!)

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Hi LR

Definitely don't go and add a mans name to your calendar, at this point now, you want to start reeling him in, not give him fuel to run in the opposite direction. REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO ME and I didn't even have a name on a calendar.

Your H has opened up to you and you need to now embrace that. It isn't easy for males to open up like we women do, so he needs to be congratulated and given some respect for that.

You still want him to pursue you but don't make it really hard for him or all your good work will go down the drain. Try to meet him halfway, show him how much fun you are to be with.

We are having a naughty night out Friday night, he has booked the hotel, we are going out for dinner, then onto a wine bar for some music, stuff we used to do before we got lost in the humdrum routine of life, kids, work.

Keep that as your goal LR, to get back to what you had when you met. Don't be afraid of the R talk.



Trying to keep hope alive
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Thank you Oz, have to say the R talk is a bit scary at the moment! H wants to go there and is showing it physically, but isnt quite ready to spit the words out yet.

He came up last night after I had gone to bed, he slept in the spare room and I popped in about 1am to check on him and had a cuddle, then went back to the big bed. In the morning he joined me in the big bed for coffee and we ended up ML, and it is ML not s*x and far more intimate than it has been in years. We chatted a bit and I said trying to avoid it sounding like R talk, that I wasnt sure where he was wanting to take this at the moment and he said neither did he, I wasnt worried he is at least being honest as I expect this is scaring him too.

We got breakfast and coffee and sat chatting, and he accidently made me feel very used and dumped. I just had to walk away and do something else, but he followed me to kitchen and said he was sorry he realised as the words left his mouth how unintentionally awful the must have sounded, and that he was looking to get to know me again and he wanted to spend time with me not just in bed. So that a big start for which I thanked him for being respectful and honest.

So I suppose we just take each day as we come now and see where it leads us. Of course any advise from those in the same situation and just starting R talks would be grateful or even point me in the right direction to any good threads.


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GAG - in a nutshell (and sorry to hijack your thread Rabbit), Oz GAL'd her butt off and was so mysterious that her H thought that she was having an A and he moved out!

Fortunately, Oz was able to bring it back around but it was a hairy 48 hrs or so on the board.

She's doing just fine now, as you will have probably gathered from what you read here. Good on her, I say! Rub off some of that luck to the rest of us .... eh??


WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09
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