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spend some time reading threads from men who have WAW and study what they say their wifes say to them. What is called "Script" on this site. Add it to your vocabulary.


YEP.. Exactly

It is working on most all the men on this site. If you read the threads from the BS men on here, you will notice a fairly common theme and thread.

Something like this...

"I didn't wake up UNTIL she wanted out".....

Over and over and over.. The men on this site did NOT wake up until the WS started showing signs of walking away and no chance of loving him back anymore...

Again.... So what worked for that woman who is the WS?

It was REJECTING HIM.... Letting go... Finding another man...
ILYBNILWY...


Suddenly that man is on this site... Reading on relationships, begging, crying, changing, doing the laundry after never having done it in his life, offers of foot rubs, suddenly communication is top priority to him after ignoring her for years, suddenly he talks to her with respect, learns to apologize, gets totally involved with the kids, father of the year, husband of the year, is open to counseling after telling her no for years, suddenly shaves, works out. Suddenly his marriage vows mean everything after treating her like a second class citizen for years.... on and on and on..... SUDDENLY.. all AFTER (not during or before) AFTER she shows action of wanting out and being done...



All of those things are what have worked for the WAW to cause the men on this site to be here. Some for 2 years or more that are STILL getting rejected (see how good it works?) and can't let go of HER, now that she has let go...

CHALLENGE.. Some men need a challenge....

Without a doubt. The hardest part for me is getting women to quit questioning it and just follow the advice. It works. Much better than "hanging in there" while he eats his cake and gets the challenge he needs from another source....

That's my opinion and experience. I fail to see it differently from the way men on this site are reacting to women who want out. I certainly don't see the men on here just walking away and giving up. Quite the OPPOSITE.

REALITY.. Follow reality... not what you "wish for" ....

Last edited by gucci loafer; 08/24/09 02:48 PM.
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Completely true!


Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2
M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08
Walking away from a bad situation.

My Sitch

Strength and Compassion
No Resentment
Thinker #1825059 08/24/09 05:57 PM
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Oh, you silly kids, don't you think I've interacted with another guy already...

I tried to tell you in not so many words. But, ya, I've got my feelers out there and there is someone I've spent some time with (though long distance so not likely BF material and also a bit young wink ).

So there...now I'll finish reading the rest of the thread...just couldn't help but clarify.



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Ok, so I was a WAW who didn't walk away, thus we just tore the sh*t out of our R. I did reject H and talked about leaving but it lingered on and on and he knew that he had me with my unyielding commitment to marriage. But I did reject him and treat him like crap (alternated with trying to be perfect and loving and sexy and a "good wife")...it was like Limboland for a few years and when one was on in the marriage, the other was off.

Even once I told him that I wanted to separate because he was so miserable (and was clearly hanging out with other women) and he looked at me and said "but you're cute and I love you." That was a month before he left!

I could feel him leaving and was very honest and expressive about my desire to come back together. There was definitely one if not more other women tugging at his zipper by that point.

So,a few weeks ago (post my weekend getaway), he was coming at me with some drama about the past and I fired off the email of the century and articulated that I was moving on. And I meant it and I have followed through. And I have maintained my boundaries and I have a few too many challenges to articulate here that have been from little to big (him wanting x or y, or texting or...) and I have met each challenge effectively. Even last night he resorted to a desperate email accusing me of some drama and I handled it so well. I wrote the long retarded emotional email, threw it out and sent the concise, handling and ending this conversation email instead. His response, "fair enough."

Works for me.

There is no cake eating, there is no hanging out, no phone calls, no seeking time together or lingering or accepting invitations or showing up where I know he is...nada.

By sheer happenstance, he texted that he wanted to come by the house last night to get something he needed for work. And I had to tell him my sister was here with my kids cuz I was out...He said, "I guess I'm f*cked." Yep, he knows if he wants his nuts in tact he shouldn't be showing up with my sis here...then it went on about me being out so much and he was going to invite me to a movie but he thought I wouldn't want to be away from our kids (which was a major issue in M, I didn't go out enough with him)....I let him have his conversation with himself and turned my phone off...then it was that he wanted to talk to the kids (hello, McFly, I'm out)...and then it was we need to have a serious talk...and then the email...

The ONLY tough part is that we have to raise two kids and make some serious logistical and financial decisions with this drama in the middle...it feels very precarious but I am handling it one thing at a time and I am getting very close to hammering out what I want and I will then either file for D if I have the money or sit down with him and see if we can draw up a separation agreement.

No, I am not f*cking around anymore. I married a big baby and I have NO indication whatsoever that he plans on manning up. Actually, this behavior now, while it strokes my ego a tad, is juvenile and annoying and I am glad I'm not living with it anymore. I am a straight up kind of gal and I want a man who can "handle it."

What I would love is help staying on track because sometimes I miss the little traps. But, I doubt you'll give me your cell phone numbers and be on call...so I'll have to rely on my general commitment to move on.



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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Ok, so I was a WAW who didn't walk away, thus we just tore the sh*t out of our R. I did reject H and talked about leaving but it lingered on and on and he knew that he had me with my unyielding commitment to marriage. But I did reject him and treat him like crap (alternated with trying to be perfect and loving and sexy and a "good wife")...it was like Limboland for a few years and when one was on in the marriage, the other was off.

Even once I told him that I wanted to separate because he was so miserable (and was clearly hanging out with other women) and he looked at me and said "but you're cute and I love you." That was a month before he left!

I could feel him leaving and was very honest and expressive about my desire to come back together. There was definitely one if not more other women tugging at his zipper by that point.

So,a few weeks ago (post my weekend getaway), he was coming at me with some drama about the past and I fired off the email of the century and articulated that I was moving on. And I meant it and I have followed through. And I have maintained my boundaries and I have a few too many challenges to articulate here that have been from little to big (him wanting x or y, or texting or...) and I have met each challenge effectively. Even last night he resorted to a desperate email accusing me of some drama and I handled it so well. I wrote the long retarded emotional email, threw it out and sent the concise, handling and ending this conversation email instead. His response, "fair enough."

Works for me.

There is no cake eating, there is no hanging out, no phone calls, no seeking time together or lingering or accepting invitations or showing up where I know he is...nada.

By sheer happenstance, he texted that he wanted to come by the house last night to get something he needed for work. And I had to tell him my sister was here with my kids cuz I was out...He said, "I guess I'm f*cked." Yep, he knows if he wants his nuts in tact he shouldn't be showing up with my sis here...then it went on about me being out so much and he was going to invite me to a movie but he thought I wouldn't want to be away from our kids (which was a major issue in M, I didn't go out enough with him)....I let him have his conversation with himself and turned my phone off...then it was that he wanted to talk to the kids (hello, McFly, I'm out)...and then it was we need to have a serious talk...and then the email...

The ONLY tough part is that we have to raise two kids and make some serious logistical and financial decisions with this drama in the middle...it feels very precarious but I am handling it one thing at a time and I am getting very close to hammering out what I want and I will then either file for D if I have the money or sit down with him and see if we can draw up a separation agreement.

No, I am not f*cking around anymore. I married a big baby and I have NO indication whatsoever that he plans on manning up. Actually, this behavior now, while it strokes my ego a tad, is juvenile and annoying and I am glad I'm not living with it anymore. I am a straight up kind of gal and I want a man who can "handle it."

What I would love is help staying on track because sometimes I miss the little traps. But, I doubt you'll give me your cell phone numbers and be on call...so I'll have to rely on my general commitment to move on.







What??? Where am I? confused I thought I was on AAK's thread. whistle

Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #1825354 08/25/09 12:29 AM
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Ha, is it that much of a leap?



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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Ha, is it that much of a leap?


Across the chasm from fear to love.

Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #1825368 08/25/09 12:58 AM
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Originally Posted By: Coach
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Ha, is it that much of a leap?


Across the chasm from fear to love.

Cheers


Jeezuz, you're good. Lucky Greek.

I am happy today. I am happier than I was before H left. I don't understand it completely but I like it.



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Quote:
No, I am not f*cking around anymore.


Know something, my dear friend? If this was the 1940s, and we were in a Warner Bros. picture, I'd be looking at you over a shot glass full of bourbon while waiting for my mark to appear so I could keep tailing him, and I'd tip my fedora back, toss down that shot, and tell you you're a Real Dame.

And that would be a good thing. And it is.

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Ha, dame just means woman so, a "real dame" works for me.

BTW- Do you all think I cuss too much? grin



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