Yep, definitely the teen thing. They feel that everything revolves around their needs and wants. Hate to hear the word "no". Been there done that, and the last one is 17 and almost done ... still the odd selfishness now and then, but otherwise quite calm. I am glad I stuck it out with my H these last five years, for no other reason, that there was another parent to help. They have no idea about the struggles of parenting, looking after a house, working, etc.
Please don't feel like a failure ... that title belongs to your XH, even if he thinks otherwise. I bet the "crazy" word came from him.
You're doing great, but teens can blow up one's worst days to mega proportions, when it is just a bad day.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
My D16 has lunch at my place daily and last week she phoned me to say "Could you please do the dishes daily" It has apparently never occured to her that SHE may actually be able to wash a few herself. It's occured to her now, believe me!
Ugh, I am not looking forward to teenage years with my daughters! Sorry to hear about your night Hoosier. I have that same feeling of being out done by the ex and her family. All we can do is make the best of what we have! At least you did'nt lose your keys!
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
hm, I'm sorry you had such a bad night and are having a difficult time of things in general right now.
You are definitely an official mother of a full-blown adolescent now! Fourteen. My StepD - my first daughter - was fourteen when I married her mom. Yikes! Gardener had stepped into a scary teenaged-girl-world!
She is conflicted, in pain and very confused.
And your night last night is so full of metaphors that one could stretch them forever:
She goes to a place where everything seems - to her, right now - perfect, intact, working, family-like, and full of abundance.
Comes home to things that don't work ("DVD"), things are not affordable right now, nothing seems intact - including family - and she feels the tension, the incongruity of the two situations.
Then something shattered, which is how she probably feels about everything right now.
All Hell understandably broke loose. All Hell has broken loose in her life and in her adolescent black-or-white thinking nothing is right in her life.
Teenage angst. Very real. Very scary. Very final. (remember? )
I don't know exactly how hysterical she was, but next time perhaps try hugging her. Tightly. Lovingly. Restrain and comfort her. Cry with her, not separately. And don't let go until she - and you - calm down.
Tough time and stress all around. And for her, at a very tough age.
Give yourself a good day today.
As the father of two young women D23 and D21 (each, curiously, who used to be 14), that was a really beautiful and wise post, Gardener.
hm, I'm sorry you had such a bad night and are having a difficult time of things in general right now.
You are definitely an official mother of a full-blown adolescent now! Fourteen. My StepD - my first daughter - was fourteen when I married her mom. Yikes! Gardener had stepped into a scary teenaged-girl-world!
She is conflicted, in pain and very confused.
And your night last night is so full of metaphors that one could stretch them forever:
She goes to a place where everything seems - to her, right now - perfect, intact, working, family-like, and full of abundance.
Comes home to things that don't work ("DVD"), things are not affordable right now, nothing seems intact - including family - and she feels the tension, the incongruity of the two situations.
Then something shattered, which is how she probably feels about everything right now.
All Hell understandably broke loose. All Hell has broken loose in her life and in her adolescent black-or-white thinking nothing is right in her life.
Teenage angst. Very real. Very scary. Very final. (remember? )
I don't know exactly how hysterical she was, but next time perhaps try hugging her. Tightly. Lovingly. Restrain and comfort her. Cry with her, not separately. And don't let go until she - and you - calm down.
Tough time and stress all around. And for her, at a very tough age.
Give yourself a good day today.
As the father of two young women D23 and D21 (each, curiously, who used to be 14), that was a really beautiful and wise post, Gardener.
Puppy
it was a good one, wasn't it?!
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
As the father of two young women D23 and D21 (each, curiously, who used to be 14), that was a really beautiful and wise post, Gardener. Puppy
That was very kind of you to say. And it comes (as do so many posts on theses boards) at the end of a day in which I really needed to hear some kind words.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
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