We're not even talking a lot of money here, maybe $50 total. That's the part that confuses me. When she left she couldn't get out fast enough. She took some clothes and the dogs and that was it. **Poof** Gone. She has a job. She can just as easily cancel the accounts that are in her name. Am I missing something?
Maybe she is: Contact?
Sometimes it's not about what is said, as much as that there's something being said between you.
Think of the 5 year old that sees mommy and daddy having a conversation, and they want to participate too, but don't know how- so they just spout off anything at any old time.
Yeah. It's a lot like that.
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
Thought I'd track you down. I'd read nothing into this interaction, if you can call it that, other than her tying up loose ends and get you to pay for stuff. You might still be "standing", but she's done. She simply doesn't care what you think (unlike you, who cares what she's thinking)...she just wants you to pay so she doesn't have to. Hopefully you are continuing to move forward with your own life and not worrying too much about what she's doing.
BTW, it was okay to do the stuff outside the courthouse...what's she gonna do, divorce you again. I think you got a truthful read, she is satisfied with being out.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
maybe they want to keep us under their thumb? just in case--maybe it pleases them to know how much we care still
I think My xh enjoyed the 2 years I stood waiting for him to visit spending my energy trying to show him I still cared, was cchanging and was willing to be there It was part of my healing,,my amends to him for my part of the failure of our M I have No regrets--I did change I became the one I always wanted to be
Do what you think is best about the money and accounts peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
OK, after a very poor decision this morning on my part, followed by a beating by Jim and Mach with some rather hefty 2 x 4 s, I decided to head to the mountains on my bike to clear my head. Note to self: riding a motorcycle in the freezing rain is less than fun. My one hour trip turned into 6. Fine. I went to my favorite spot hoping to be alone and process some stuff. Turns out there was some festival or other such nonsense. It was wall to wall people. I go to my favorite restaurant to wait out the rain - everyone around me wants to chat. What is up with that? Clearly, my "do not disturb" face is NOT working.
So, the thought occurred to me on this ride: what if this isn't an MLC? What if she just stopped loving me? She's moved on. End of story? If there is no MLC, she's not going to wake up. There is no chance at reconciliation. She's just done. Fini.
mw, Whether it's mlc or just waw symptoms, you still need to separate your finances/assets to protect yourself and your family. You must live your life to the fullest and let her go for a while. You can still move on and leave the door ajar, but do not wait in one spot for a very long time. We do not want to see you get stuck.
It's time now to look at your situation (monetary) as a business deal gone south and prepare the necessary paperwork to protect yourself. Right now, it doesn't matter whether she's in mlc or not...she's gone and has given the impression she's done.
Take it one second at at time and look to the day for new experiences and try to find one thing to smile about.
We are all here for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
MW, if there is one thing I learned in here is this.......listen to Snodderly, God has given her an understanding of this MLC stuff.Doesn't preach to anyone. just tells us so much truth about what our husbands and wives are going thru...she has helped me understand what they are going thru..doesn't promise me my husband will come home, doesn't tell anyone what they want to hear....doesn't sugar coat anything.....she has been a blessing to me and so many others here.....Thanks you Snodderly for all you have done ....... Irma
Snodderly- All our stuff has been divided. Financially we are completely independent. The paperwork has all been filed, financial agreements signed and submitted. I'm safe. I'm in a better place now that when we had joint accounts.
My issue with the bills wasn't a protection thing. She has been all gung ho about getting split up. I was surprised she called me to ask if i was going to pay this stupid $20 bill and to close the accounts that were in her name to begin with (elec, phone). I moved out a month and a half ago. She can easily take care of these thing on her own. It just seemed like an odd request. It is almost as if she wants to be divorced, but doesn't want to take care of crossing the t's herself. Like i'm somehow supposed to participate in this process.
All the paperwork for the D has been filed. I'm set. The waiting period ends Oct 8. Barring a major departure from the current status quo, it will all be official when the judge signs off on it.
Your wife is still looking to you to take care of things. If she wants the bills taken care of and her name removed from the accounts that she's on...she can do this herself. You are not her "daddy".
It's not an odd request at all...they will try/test you to see if you will: 1) do it for them and 2)get a reaction out of you. You do neither. Your wife is a big girl and if she wants to end the marriage, then she will have to be the one to do her part. They never want to look like the bad guys in all of this. They want to point the finger and say "see, he/she rushed this and I'm still confused or don't know what I want". Don't react.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I worried about your ride...saw the storms coming and thought, "hope he has his rain gear!"
My h told me he "emotionally" left the marriage over a year ago..uh huh that makes me feel better. Thanks for the communication, buddy!
Remember, they rewrite whatever they need to to justify their actions. Let your heart hurt when it needs to, ride that wave out, get a beer and move on. You'll be fine...besides you know your "street value" Don't forget that...
Hang in there and enjoy this gorgeous day....
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Don't forget that...