Good to have input from you all but tonight I want to S C R E A M ....
I have struggled all day - glad that I was at work and glad that I only had a load of reading and 'familiarising' to do as I couldn't have coped with anything else. I guess I kept waiting for a message from H and of course, none came. I rushed home, thinking foolishly that there may be an email but again, nothing. It's early yet but I'm not foolish enough to think that he will email later, either - especially today. This hurts like you can only imagine ... in two and a quarter hours, sixteen years ago, I started my walk up the aisle.
I'm trembling with anger, hurt, sadness, upset ... and I am so tempted to ring him but my head won't let my heart do it. I know that I could have been seeing him tonight or over the weekend if I hadn't changed my draft email, but I also know that what I am doing is right. It doesn't stop every ounce of my body from the way I am feeling right now. I just don't think that I can go on for much longer like this ...
I think that we do need to talk soon. It's been almost three weeks now and there are things that need to be said about the house and I need to let him know that, whilst I am coping, I think that he should be doing stuff here too - why am I lumbered with everything and he's getting off scott free? There's an imbalance of EVERYTHING here ... just need to take the weekend to sort out a 'script' for how that conversation is going to go.
Any suggestions??
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
He gave you the opening to bring up the issues regarding finances... It isn't pursuing when he made the first contact..
Just email him back and say something to the effect of..
"What are you going to do about the house payment being overdue? I am not going to pay your portion and would appreciate it if you would take care of your end without me having to tell you. I am not going to allow this to ruin my credit, so if you don't take care of your responsibility then I am going to take other action. If I don't hear back from you by Sunday night,then Monday morning I will contact the creditor (s)" to see what my options are and help them to deal with you directly.
Lots of deep breathing Nell, its not easy facing your WA on your own and getting now contact, Im not sure how Im gonna get through next monday, we would have been together twenty nine years, and its gonna cut like a knife it being ignored, but thats what I am expecting to happen, so maybe I will have to start organising a celebrate Rabbit Day now so Im too busy/tired to care.. Hope the moggles are giving you lots of cuddles, love and attention today. What have you planned for tomorrow, something nice I hope cuddle x
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I am so glad you were at work on your WA being at home would have made it so much worse. But guess what Nell, even thought it hurt like hell, you survived, you got through it which is one more bonus point for you, you didn't cave in and ring.
H will contact you, you just need to keep remaining strong and holding fast on your nc.
Hi everyone and thanks for checking in on me - I certainly felt like checking out yesterday - and that's no joke. I got an email from a friend and a phone call from another friend back home but of course, nothing from H. It was tough. I went to bed really early so that I could end the day as quickly as possible. It was so hard not to ring, text or email H - I was just going to write "bet you are proud of yourself today" or just "Happy Anniversary" but I resisted. Instead, I just replayed my Wedding and the Wedding Breakfast over and over in my head - to the exact timings minus the 7 hour time difference. Torturous but I just couldn't stop it.
I still can't cry and, even though I sat and watched all the 9/11 stuff which always sets me off, I remained dry eyed. Why can't I cry - I REALLY need to - it's been 3.5 months now and nothing ...
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
"What are you going to do about the house payment being overdue? I am not going to pay your portion and would appreciate it if you would take care of your end without me having to tell you. I am not going to allow this to ruin my credit, so if you don't take care of your responsibility then I am going to take other action. If I don't hear back from you by Sunday night,then Monday morning I will contact the creditor (s)" to see what my options are and help them to deal with you directly.
Thanks for this advice Gucci but the payments worked out for this month, afterall. I managed to put in my half (almost!) afterall even though H carried out his threat of only putting in half. As I now have a 3 month contract, it won't be a concern for the next few months either but I take your point.
I will certainly be telling him that I won't carry debts for him but in fairness, that's not what he is currently doing - he has been supporting me so far but he's just upping the ante now and 'forcing' issues to make me uncomfortable. It stinks and I know that he is being coached to force my hand. Well, that may just backfire on him.
I don't know what it is but something tells me that he's forewarned of all my actions. I just wonder if he is a lurker here but then I don't think that he cares enough to do so.
I also think that, whatever I do and whatever DB technique that I try, NOTHING is working with him - I just don't think that he cares anymore - I'm becoming more disillusioned and I am starting to think that this is on M that won't survive - he's so over me and I don't know what to do next.
I'm sick of my folks telling me that I am so strong ... I am not.
Oz - hair cut is this morning and then J is meeting me for coffee.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
