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Good Morning Alive,


"The area I want to live in would be much more idyllic but further from extended family and from H (by about 30-45 minutes)...I know some people there but not well but it is a real community so I imagine we'd do alright."



Although it's not quite the same circumstance, since I just changed schools for my 6yr old S, I thought I'd chime in with my HO.

Changing schools is usually met with resistance by most kids & I believe becomes more difficult as they get older.

Going for the area you'd be happier living in will translate into a happier Alive, & more than likely happier children as well.

Living in most parts of L.A. at one time or another, my quality of life was considerably better & less stressed in Santa Monica, for instance, than Hollywood.

From following along here, I have no doubt that you will make a thoughtful decision that'll work for you.

Your children are really fortunate to have a mother like you!

Take Care,

Sunny




Date of separation 4/23/07

DB under Warm&Sunny 4/07

married 9 yrs

sons 6yr & 17yr
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[Speaking in my gentle, kind and caring voice] To be honest, I just read a series of really well crafted excuses. Excuses written by a person who knows what happiness is, has every right and reason to be happy, is not going to allow it to happen. Taking responsibility for it means allowing it to happen A&K.


Well, my happiest time was when I had the singular focus of caring for my first child and my husband was making a decent living. I felt such simple and clear purposefulness...that is just not duplicatable at this moment.

But, I take from it that I (as many people do) feel more content when I feel purposeful and not spread so thin. I don't have a clear path for that kind of scenario.

I am open to many possibilities as I recognize that everything has it's postives and negatives. This has served me well and helped me pull out of my depression and know that whatever happens, we'll be ok. But, on the flip side, it makes it tough for me to feel passionate about any given path.

I am trying to break it down and I think it needs to start with how much money I will get from H so I know what I'm working with.

And, of course, I concur that it is all "excuses"...I have so much anxiety when I wake up in the morning and I talk myself into a better place, mostly by reminding myself that it will all work out somehow and that my happiness is my choice...but, I've got to take the next step and care enough to make choices.



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Originally Posted By: Generosity
Good Morning Alive,


"The area I want to live in would be much more idyllic but further from extended family and from H (by about 30-45 minutes)...I know some people there but not well but it is a real community so I imagine we'd do alright."



Although it's not quite the same circumstance, since I just changed schools for my 6yr old S, I thought I'd chime in with my HO.

Changing schools is usually met with resistance by most kids & I believe becomes more difficult as they get older.

Going for the area you'd be happier living in will translate into a happier Alive, & more than likely happier children as well.

Living in most parts of L.A. at one time or another, my quality of life was considerably better & less stressed in Santa Monica, for instance, than Hollywood.

From following along here, I have no doubt that you will make a thoughtful decision that'll work for you.

Your children are really fortunate to have a mother like you!

Take Care,

Sunny




Thanks, yes, it is basically a beach proximity versus East side dilemma. The anxiety about changing schools is mostly due to the fact that S9 has changed twice already and of course, they are dealing with their dad having left. I have wondered if I should get a cheaper place closer to the current school and let S9 finish elementary and then move but given his age maybe better sooner than later...

I really appreciate your input.



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Seems so many sitches are coming to a head around here. Bracing myself for the conversation with H and for likely filing...

Trying to remember that movement is good and healthy and welcome it.

My son just asked me last night again if H and I are "still married"...sooner or later we all need a real answer.

Strength, peace and gratitude.

I remember my friend who died of cancer at 30 leaving behind her 3 year old.

We have our health and our children, must be grateful.



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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Seems so many sitches are coming to a head around here. Bracing myself for the conversation with H and for likely filing...

Trying to remember that movement is good and healthy and welcome it.

My son just asked me last night again if H and I are "still married"...sooner or later we all need a real answer.

Strength, peace and gratitude.

I remember my friend who died of cancer at 30 leaving behind her 3 year old.

We have our health and our children, must be grateful.

OK, I've written a bunch of different things then deleted them. Anonymous forums are amazing and beautiful and sometimes awkward.

Just know that you're not alone smile


AKA: "Ben the school teacher"
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Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20
Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08
My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09
W w/OM 6/09-11/09

My Intro Thread
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Cryptic.

But I think I get you.

Yes, your sitch and Stuck's and Dia's...getting me ready to take my own advice and woman up.

Then there are sitches in which the actual addressing of D issue brings about real catharsis...so, I am hopeful while dealing with the brutal reality.

Breaking a mild sweat but I guess I'll work out to keep it under control.

This site is a real God send...none of us are alone.



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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Cryptic.

But I think I get you.

I'm still kinda getting accustomed to the feeling/sharing/emotional stuff and don't want to be awkward smile

Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Yes, your sitch and Stuck's and Dia's...getting me ready to take my own advice and woman up.

I've found it very easy to read the books, study and give advice. I'm a bit of an academic anyway...but it's way different putting this stuff into practice. If you shared my posts with my colleagues in the workplace they'd never believe this was me.

Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Then there are sitches in which the actual addressing of D issue brings about real catharsis...so, I am hopeful while dealing with the brutal reality.

Breaking a mild sweat but I guess I'll work out to keep it under control.{/quote]
I see so much hope in your sitch. Funny how that works.

[quote=aliveandkicking]This site is a real God send...none of us are alone.

Social media and tech are a big part of my business and life. Never in my wildest dreams expected or experienced anything like this forum. I feel blessed.

Sorry tonight has been so much about me. I haven't had a chance to spend much time on other threads.


AKA: "Ben the school teacher"
---
Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20
Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08
My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09
W w/OM 6/09-11/09

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Quote:
Sorry tonight has been so much about me. I haven't had a chance to spend much time on other threads.


You are here for you. You don't owe anyone anything.



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Insomnia...ouch.



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Work and Budget prep... Double ouch!!!!!

Sorry A&K...


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
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