A monkey humping a football??? Where did you come up with that one?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I just got the best news - my H finally signed the agreement, his attny signed it and it will be at my attny's office tomorrow for me to sign. I got everything I wanted and needed. It will be filed on Monday and our trial, which was set to start on Tues. is now OFFICIALLY adjourned. As of Monday Nov. 16th my H and I will be officially separated in the eyes of NY and this 21 month legal battle will be OVER.
Conrats CG. I won't. I am glad you are getting some relief and closure. Good deal.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I don't think I have any reason to hear from W again for a while so that is positive.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Wow...I leave for a few hours and there is 4 or 5 pages to read!
Ok, here is my 2 cents for what it is worth. I see alot of me in you and how you respond to W. Tell me if I am way off base here. I get bashed on my thread (thank you by the way cuz it helps) for being too open with exh. He wants to still be my buddy when it suits him. He wants to be able to come and go here when he wants to see baby. He calls me for advice about his other daughters or just life. When he feels me straying away he gets the ILY's and I miss yous out so it reels me back in. Yet, HE STILL IS DOING THE SAME BEHAVIORS! Nothing has changed.
He (like your W) is a cake eater. He doesn't want me to go too far just in case Plan A doesn't work. He still wants to be my buddy as it relieves his guilt. If we are friends it doesn't make what he has done so bad right?
Why do I put up with it? Because deep down I still have a fantasy of our life working out together. That someday this total jerk will come to his senses and realize what he has. If I cut him off completely and enforce the boundaries he will get mad, he will turn to whatever woman he is with this week, he will think I am a bit** and never change his mind. Honestly, when I get the nice texts saying ILY I do take a few steps back and have that "What if" mindset.
This guy has done horrible things to me! He doesn't deserve a second chance. So what if he gets mad at me? You need to think the same way.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I know we have different views on some of this stuff, but for what it's worth:
My pastor has told me, and I have read in 'boundaries' books, that
you can love someone unconditionally, and still decide that you cannot have a relationship (M) with them.
Not that I am encouraging that. I hope your M is restored down the road if/when you and your wife are both ready for that.
But you mentioned something a few pages back about thinking you loved her unconditionally and now you aren't sure...you can still love her but decide that the R is/was not good for you...
