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Ok, W called and wanted me to call her about discussing dinner plans tonight. I sent her back a text saying I have to cancel tonight. I will drop off the kids at 6. Send me your proposed schedule and holiday plans via email.
She sent me a text back saying she wished I would have told her sooner.
I sent back a text saying sorry, just came up.
I am going to get dressed up looking good, drop the kids off, act confident and happy and split out of there. I really don't have any plans tonight. But I am taking Steve McQueens advice on this to try and build some mystery and show W I am not reliant or dependent on her.
I do have some friends that are going dancing tonight. Maybe I will join them.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I think you are making a very wise move. DO NOT engage in any sort of talk with her other than what you *have* to say to be polite and then get the hell out of there.
Once she does send you the schedule over e-mail I would acknowledge to her that you received the proposal but you will need some time to review not only her proposal but your personal schedule and you will get back to her in a few days.
IMO, if she tries to set up another dinner to talk about the schedule I would decline, be firm about your desire to have it sent via e-mail and if she asks why or questions you about it simply say you feel its best to have a paper trail when discussing custody issues. Then smile, tell her to have a GREAT night, kiss your girls goodbye and be on your way.
I can almost promise you the term "custody issues" will plant something in her mind that perhaps you are now treating her as an ex-wife and co-parent only and at the very least, will give her the first taste she has ever had of NOT being in control of everything. Or, maybe you should use the term "custody arrangements" as issues imply a problem. Yes, that would be better verbiage I think.