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#1817897 - 08/12/09 07:04 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: Steve McQueen]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
I was listening to the first CD of my Codependent No More audio book last night and it was interesting. Everything the author described was my W during the years of my drinking. It was talking about a W and alcoholic H. Wow. Now I see some things that I didn't realize. She was codependent during those times. Now I am codependent and she has broken herself of it.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1817898 - 08/12/09 07:05 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
DW, I am still praying for you and your family while going through this sad ordeal with your BIL.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1817900 - 08/12/09 07:06 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
CityGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 2612
Again - if you dont like eating at home alone then pack a dinner and go somewhere and eat it (park, lake, the nature trail you speak of or find a new place to go).

As I understand it, you have your girls one week on and one week off. If you are eating out just three days a week on your "off weeks" and *only* spending 5.00 per meal that is 15.00 wasted. Add 15.00 per week over the course of a year and you have a nice little chunk of change. Save it for a rainy day, save it for the house you claim you must have, save it for C'ing for your kids, education, a down payment on a car or something more rational than eating out because you are bored.

You want a better future. You worried to the point of no return about not having a house, having to start over at the ripe old age of 34 and having no retirement yet spending 15.00 (+) every other week on eating out could make some small dent in one of those areas.

This is part of your need for instant gratification. Dont like to eat home alone so go out and spend money. You can still go out to eat with your OWN food made at home, purchased on sale and with coupons.

Find a farmers market in your area for fresh produce - I go each Sat. morning and can fill two bags of local and fresh produce for under 10.00. Granted its just me and I dont have 2 kids to feed but the savings is still substantial and you are supporting the local farmers.

Or, like I said, volunteer at a soup kitchen, shelter or old folks home for meal time - you will get a free meal and be helping others and you wont be eating alone or spending money.

I had to go to three stores and spend an hour or so matching coupons and sales flyers but for a grand total of 10.49 I got 4 pkg's of BIC pens, 2 bottles of dishsoap, 2 bottles of handsoap, 4 cans of soup, a pkg. of highlighters, 2 Healthy Choice meals, 2 boxes of panty liners, 2 tubes of toothpaste, a half gallon of fat free milk, 3 rolls of paper towels, 2 boxes of bandaids and a roll of tape. On top of all that I will be getting a 2.49 rebate check in the mail. All stuff I needed and yes, it took a bit of time to match up all the ads/coupons and go from store to store but it was worth it. I am now set on office supplies and other necessities for some time and the money I saved was put aside for my co-pay (25.00) for my next psych appt.

Two years ago I thought nothing of going to Sephora and dropping several hundred bucks. I thought nothing of spending 400.00 on a pair of shoes or a handbag. My life is different now. So I taught myself how to get as much as possible with as little as possible with a bit of time and research. Its actually kind of fun to see how much I can save.

I started a spreadsheet to log my savings and its amazing the amount of money you can save if you try.


Edited by CityGirl (08/12/09 07:13 PM)

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#1817912 - 08/12/09 07:23 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: CityGirl]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Wow CG,

You got it down. Ok. I can do that. You are right, I can save quite a bit by making some small changes and still enjoy myself.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1817923 - 08/12/09 07:34 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: CityGirl]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 10741
Loc: west coast
GEEZ CG,

When first Married, I recall budgeting $25 per week for H and I eating, which we did. Lots of chicken and eggs and rice. We spend a lot more now, b/c we can and appreciate that. But recently our d20 was learning about living below the poverty level in America. So as a family, we chose to eat at the level a family of 4 would eat in, and added a % b/c we had our son at home then too which threw the numbers off a little as a family of 5 (due to son's appetite, I should have doubled that, but anyhow smile ..)

We managed and learned a lot about wasteful spending. Coupons!! Hello!! Name brands on some items are just crazy. I once went to the drug store with a friend who wanted tylenol and I told her to get the generic and she said "The generic doesn't work with me" and I showed her the exact same ingredients were in both but she insisted on it, irrationally (I know SOME generics are different but this one was the same) and I had to laugh and let it go. Talk about wanting to be right...

But Well said CG, and very instructive. K4, take notes!
thanks,
j
_________________________
m:51 H:55
M: 30 yrs
S25,D23,D15
H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005
I file Sep 2/06
Piecing 7/07
Retrovaille Weekend 8/08
M Restored 8/08

Be Happy OR be "Right"

FORGIVENESS: Your way out of hell

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#1817930 - 08/12/09 07:39 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: 25yearsmlc]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
I'm actually a walmart shopper and buy mostly generic great value stuff. I save a ton of money there. That was one thing my W always hated it I would try and buy generic instead of brand name stuff. She didn't like the difference in taste. But now I really have to, so I do.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1817933 - 08/12/09 07:42 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: 25yearsmlc]
Coach Offline
Member

Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 5299


Quote:
But Well said CG, and very instructive. K4, take notes!

Quote:
I had to go to three stores and spend an hour or so matching coupons and sales flyers but for a grand total of 10.49 I got 4 pkg's of BIC pens, 2 bottles of dishsoap, 2 bottles of handsoap, 4 cans of soup, a pkg. of highlighters, 2 Healthy Choice meals, 2 boxes of panty liners, 2 tubes of toothpaste, a half gallon of fat free milk, 3 rolls of paper towels, 2 boxes of bandaids and a roll of tape. On top of all that I will be getting a 2.49 rebate check in the mail. All stuff I needed and yes, it took a bit of time to match up all the ads/coupons and go from store to store but it was worth it. I am now set on office supplies and other necessities for some time and the money I saved was put aside for my co-pay (25.00) for my next psych appt.



Kev don't buy everything on the list! grin
_________________________
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

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#1817937 - 08/12/09 07:47 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: Coach]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Wow Coach,

I don't think you have ever posted to me before. I know I have read many of your posts on other threads.

Don't worry. I won't be buying panty liners. lol.

Although if I did, it could get my W's suspicions up. hmm. kidding.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1817944 - 08/12/09 07:51 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
CityGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 2612
Sorry for the "too much info" on my list. I was just proving a point with some time, effort and research the savings can be amazing. And FWIW, not one thing I purchased was generic. And I didnt use a cent in gas because I live in walking distance of all three stores. So, I saved money, saved gas, used my canvas totes to "be green" and got a good workout walking from store to store. Not bad for old CityGirl!

Actually though, perhaps panty liners would come in handy for your daughters to leave at your house (to avoid them having to ask you) or for their gym bag or locker at school.

If you live near a Super Target you can get a free pound of apples by using the Target coupon from the Target coupon generator. Through Sat. the coupon is valid.

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#1817945 - 08/12/09 07:52 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
volleydog Offline
Member

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 691
Loc: IN
Originally Posted By: K4D
I'm actually a walmart shopper and buy mostly generic great value stuff. I save a ton of money there. That was one thing my W always hated it I would try and buy generic instead of brand name stuff. She didn't like the difference in taste. But now I really have to, so I do.

Kevin


This would have been a much better post...hint hint
_________________________
Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."




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