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mulesqb #1811312 07/31/09 02:29 PM
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Thanks.

We don't own a house. We had one in Florida and sold it. Little did I know the real reason back then. Anyways, that person which must not be mentioned rents the house from her mom and step dad and I am in an apartment.

I thought D7 was doing better. But this is coming back up again. She also seems to really be having trouble talking out her emotions. She finds it hard to spit out the words regarding her feelings on this. Sometimes she will start a sentence and then stop and say nevermind. I try to continue to draw it out of her to finish her sentence. I'm not always successful. I do tell the girls that both mommy and daddy love them. But D7 in particular seems to be bringing it up more and more all of a sudden again. D11 seems to be doing fine or just not saying anything if she isn't.

I'm not going to bring it up to that person which must not be mentioned. It wouldn't do any good and would just like you said bring resentment and make things worse.

I'm going to have to look back into C again for D7 at the minimum and probably D11 as well.

This isn't easy on them. Heck, it is not easy on me, so how could it possibly be easy on them?

And yes, I am trying to avoid talking about that certain someone.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1811317 07/31/09 02:34 PM
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Kevin,

CityGirl, 25, Stuck and I all pointed out your D's need for counseling MONTHS ago. I seem to remember you posting that you'd made phone calls, etc. So I take it that you never followed through on that?

If your daughter brings up homeschooling again, I'd talk to her about what it takes to homeschool. Not every parent is qualified or capable of doing it. It takes a huge commitment on the part of the homeschooling parent. Even if you and W got back together, doesn't seem like you could get by on one salary anyway. Haven't you both been working for awhile?

Get your girls help, Kevin. Follow up on something for your daughters.

Stacy


Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15
K4D #1811318 07/31/09 02:35 PM
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Quote:
I'm not going to bring it up to that person which must not be mentioned. It wouldn't do any good and would just like you said bring resentment and make things worse.


You should bring it up to her, WITHOUT trying to place blame...This is about your k's health and BOTH parents need to be involved in that.


Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."



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Originally Posted By: davidswife
Kevin,

CityGirl, 25, Stuck and I all pointed out your D's need for counseling MONTHS ago. I seem to remember you posting that you'd made phone calls, etc. So I take it that you never followed through on that?

If your daughter brings up homeschooling again, I'd talk to her about what it takes to homeschool. Not every parent is qualified or capable of doing it. It takes a huge commitment on the part of the homeschooling parent. Even if you and W got back together, doesn't seem like you could get by on one salary anyway. Haven't you both been working for awhile?

Get your girls help, Kevin. Follow up on something for your daughters.

Stacy


Kev - it is SO important. You have so many people looking out for you here. Please follow advice on this one.

I don't want to overstep, but homeschooling in my opinion takes away the social aspect that your girls may very much need right now. Again, way out of my league. Please talk to therapist.

Mules


M 43
W 44
M 17
T 22
S16,12,9
Bomb 2/05/08
I served her 1/06/09
S'd 3/15/09
D'd 12/21/09



"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
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Originally Posted By: volleydog
Quote:
I'm not going to bring it up to that person which must not be mentioned. It wouldn't do any good and would just like you said bring resentment and make things worse.


You should bring it up to her, WITHOUT trying to place blame...This is about your k's health and BOTH parents need to be involved in that.


VD - Thanks for doing a much better job of saying this!


M 43
W 44
M 17
T 22
S16,12,9
Bomb 2/05/08
I served her 1/06/09
S'd 3/15/09
D'd 12/21/09



"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
mulesqb #1811335 07/31/09 02:50 PM
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Ok. I am going to start looking back into it again. I am worried that D7 is thinking about it so much and that it is really bothering her. I know it is bothering her when she can't even finish saying what she is trying to tell me. Its on her mind that much.

As far as homeschooling goes, I couldn't homeschool them right now anyways. I grew up around the homeschooling environment so I am aware of all the positives from it and what is required. They wouldn't be without socialization as there are all kinds of homeschooling groups that get together and do things regularly as well as staying involved at church. But that is a whole other story that is simply not an option right now.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
mulesqb #1811412 07/31/09 04:38 PM
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Quote:
A couple of things: Just wanted to say that I am proud of you. I just read a number of posts from you with no mention of whatshername.


Mules,

With my 12 year anniversary 2 days away, I would be lying if I said it was not on my mind as well as ML. But I am doing the best I can by trying to focus on other things.

Thanks,

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1811416 07/31/09 04:49 PM
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Kevin, my 9 year anniversary is August 5, and my birthday is August 3. I am right there with you, man. Both nights were always "special" nights for me. After months of nights of no ML, it is HEAVY on my mind. Of course, more heavily on my mind, and more heartbreaking, is that nevermind ML, I won't get the ILY I always got on our anniversary. Sad. But like you said, focus on other things. Easier said than done, but we gotta try, right?


Me-40
W-41
Together-10
M-8
S-6
S-4
Bomb 5/08
Bomb 10/08
Thought things were better, was wrong.
Still living together
Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Orich #1811424 07/31/09 05:02 PM
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I am in agreement Orich. The ILY would be nice to hear also. You have a double whammy. My birthday is not until the end of September so I have some space in between each.

I am happy that I am going to get some good sushi Sunday night. And I do have all day with my kids until I return them Sunday evening. We are probably going to watch a movie at home tonight and then go out and do something tomorrow. We are going to make some frozen pizza's tonight and eat some candy during the movie.

At least it is Friday. The weekend is almost upon us. Sometimes I am not sure how I feel about that. lol. Is it a TGIF or is it something else?

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1811431 07/31/09 05:18 PM
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Kevin -

Its important that you answer this... why did you NOT follow through with getting your little girls counseling? I find it hard to believe it has to do with money because almost each day you post how you go out to eat, or, at the very least you go out to eat multiple times a week. Did you think somehow your girls would be okay over time. Especially when they saw you fall apart as you did in front of them many times by saying things that were not really appropriate.

IMO your daughter wanting to be home schooled is just another way for her to withdraw from "real life" which is a very telling sign. It is also my opinion that its a ploy to try and get you and your W back together because she knows one parent would need to stay home.

You bailed on counseling but dont bail on your kids urgent need to go to counseling ASAP. Work on this with right now and get them an appt early next week no matter what you have to do. Or, put your tail between your legs and call the C you saw and see if has a resource for your kids.

They are in a vulnerable position with a ton of change and at the age where things start getting confusing (puberty, the "tween" years) and they are still very formative. Do right by them and do it now!

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