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I just read your post Nell and I'm not sure what the most appropriate response is. I think I am only ready now to move on. I have wasted so much time and energy trying to help repair our relationship and I've got nothing to show for it. I just hope the work pays off for my next relationship.
H forwarded the reports to me but with no message. It's his choice, I figure.
I had a thought today after spending so much time with my friends who were staying in beachside apartments. I am wondering at playing tourist myself and living in a beachside apartment. I've always rejected the idea in favour of a house, garden and pool but I'm not so sure about that now. I fear it would not be the wisest financial investment but it would be a lifestyle choice....no gardening, no pool cleaning and a short stroll to the cafes and the beach. It has appeal! I'll probably do nothing about it but it's a nice dream. Certainly if the kids weren't with me that would be my option.
Lots to think about then, Cas. I like the sound of the beachfront living but hear the quandary in your mind. Lots of pro's but still the con's to deal with too.
Trouble is with us women, we are always too sensible and think of our security/future instead of being a bit more like the martians and just going for it ... who's better off in the long run? Who knows.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Cas, I admire the strength you have found to come to the decisions that you have, it would not have been an easy road for you to go down but you seem to be quite content with your decisions. As long as you are happy in yourself which you sound as though you are.
Beachfront living is the best Cas, I would seriously think about it, at the end of the day I truly believe that life is far to short to deny ourselves some lifestyle choices. Lying in pre op in March brought that home to me like a bolt of lightning, that hell I could have died at any time. We only get one shot at this thing called life so we might as well enjoy it.
Contacted H today by text to ask for account information. He was very prompt in response and very helpful. I asked for the info I needed and went on to resolve the issue.
Had a sleep this afternoon which was a luxury. After went to coffee with a friend.
Feeling good and in control. Been thinking that if I continue to feel this way I may make more personal contact with H at the end of Oct so that I can reassess it all.
Reconsidered the beach living option but it is very expensive and the place I like only has a very small 3rd bedroom. Not sure it would work. Still, it is there as an option, if not now but down the track.
H sent me an email today to start settlement procedures and to re-negotiate child support. He wanted my solicitor's details. Previously he said he didn't want to go back and forth legally costing money and causing further strain to our relationship.
I text a reply to question the solicitor and he said we have to go this way because we can't resolve it without legal assistance (last time we tried was over 12 months ago and I like to think we've come a long way since then).
Later I wondered if this is what he really wants or if this is his tactic to get a response from me. If so, I made his day!!!
Hey Nell, yes all states in Aus have no fault divorce. He hasn't mentioned divorce, just financial settlement. I have since spoken to him and as the conversation was unplanned there was lots said......all very calmly and sensibly but I'm not sure what it all means. Hmmm
He wants to organise financial settlement before the business is sold (previously he said we wouldn't/couldn't do that)
He wants to use solicitors (previously he didn't want to give our money to solicitors unless we really had to)Another option he gave was for me to put forward a proposal
He wants to be friends but he doesn't want me nagging/pressuring him
He thinks we need financial settlement before we can really move on as friends
other stuff but I can't remember it all...it's all out of sequence. In the mean time I received a difficult phone call and I had to ring him back. He asked what was wrong when I rang back and I told him about the call and he was very caring and helpful.