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#1835549 - 09/10/09 11:34 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Well, some good news:

The parenting agreement can be terminated at any time.

If both parties agree a modification is neccessary, it's a matter of submitting affidavits for the judge to decide the terms set forth warrant a change that will be in the child's best interest.

If both parties do not agree, the matter will be brought forth for hearing for the judge to decide the child's best interest up to and including interviewing the child as to the child's wish of whom to have custody in their best interest. (which is where we were at when I "threw in the towel" to avoid).
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1835591 - 09/10/09 12:12 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9668
Loc: GA
Interesting.....and what are you thinking of doing?
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


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#1835606 - 09/10/09 12:24 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: mishka422
Interesting.....and what are you thinking of doing?


Honestly, nothing at this point. After seeing and hearing the type of atmosphere there and the beatings the boys are dealing upon XW, I couldn't see this going on for far too long. I mean I could not believe my ears. When I pick them up, they mouthy and disobediant with her. The moment I remind them not to even think about trying that type behavior with me, they pretty much instantly snap to shape.

The only time I ever see them function 'happily' with XW is when I drop them off.

That said, if both boys are airing their desire to live with me now as much as they do, I can only imagine how much XW hears it, let alone how it's being said shocked , and it has to get to the core of the person within her that used to care.

I never understood it in the first place anyway. If she is hell bent to party all the time, why would you want the kids full time? For what a support paycheck? Puhleeze. And I told her since get go one, if you divorce me, fine, go off and live your life how you see fit, I will take care of the boys, and I don't want ONE CENT from you.

So unless they are having issues with OM, I will just let the way she runs things wear her down until she cracks, calls me up and says come get these kids they're driving me nuts. (as I figured would happen all along)
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1836145 - 09/11/09 10:22 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
uggh, another one of 'those' nights, can't even remember going to bed, lol, but I work hard to play hard and desirve it every now and then, just the aftermath I could do with out. smile

Anyway, got my usual rehersed Thursday night call from S12, "what time are coming to pick us up". Same time as always, 6pm. Hence, XW can wait til first thing Saturday morning to cash the check as always.

Going to try and keep my best distance as possible from her, as I tell the kids when they start to bicker, if don't have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all. I'm not very happy with her as she up to something, probably the downstate move. Heck at this point, I could care less about her b-day. Friends recognize each other's special days, and at this moment in time I certainly don't regard her as a friend. Besides, she the one who said she doesn't want to be friends since I don't devulge every aspect of what goes on behind the closed door of my life she walked out of in the first place. Whatever.

Trying to persuade the kids to go to the local grill for the fish fry tonight. It's going to be a fantastic evening to sit out and eat (and not many left). Then tomorrow the a festival that will have a band from last weekend that just rocked, so, figure we'll hop the train and give S12 his train fix (he's a fanatic for trains). Then I guess for now Sunday will be a lazy day. Since the final race of the 'normal season' is on tomorrow night, I'll just record it and we'll watch that on Sunday, minus commercials and lenghty caution laps. smile

Uggh, I just know XW is gonna be in one of her moods. That's fine, she waste all the energy she wants on being bitter, suck it up hon, welcome to your life. cool
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1836305 - 09/11/09 01:36 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
MsMelancoly Offline
Member

Registered: 04/26/08
Posts: 1106
Hey dday, You seems to be handling all this quite well - bravo! Keep ducking & dodging the bullets from the xw. And of course enjoy your weekend w/your boys!
_________________________
Me39, XH45
Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats
Divorced 6/4/09
Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)

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#1836314 - 09/11/09 01:45 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: MsMelancoly]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Thanks MsM!

It certainly took long enough, but I finally pay no mind to anything a clearly lost person does anymore. I finaly got my closure with her, so no sense in carrying on nonsense. crazy
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1837211 - 09/14/09 09:20 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Someone please pull me out of this slime pit known as my life!

Just when I thought she couldn't go any lower or bring me down, I think I'm the worst I 've ever been.

My kids HATE it there, I spent an hour and twnty minutes with S12 balling his head off bexause XW makes it clearer than ever he's adopted, how f'n low is that?!? I love that kid sooo much, it's not even fair to my own flesh and blood how much I put him first.

I can't believe I let her beat me again.

Please, I need encouragement here.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1837215 - 09/14/09 09:38 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9668
Loc: GA
Ok, wait a minute.....hold the phone......

You adopted S12, right? That gives you every legal right to him. What is it exactly that she is throwing at him? Adoption, in my opinion, is the ultimate in showing love to a child. Biological children are sometimes 'oops'....adopted children were chosen!

Exactly how is she beating you?
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
#1837227 - 09/14/09 09:52 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
I have EVERY legal right to him. Her first H threw that poor kid at 8 weeks old into a wall and messed him up for life. As far as the court (and my entire family for that matter) is concerned, I AM his father.

But, in her twisted reality, I 'm not even sure what the hell she's up to.

I actually broke my cardinal boundry and walked S12 up the front door. And as I'm consoling S12, OM peers through the door with his smug ass look, and I said, you have a problem? He slammed the door.

I just don't know what to do. They hate him, they know she caused all this. They want to be with me and there's nothing I can do.


Edited by dday101798 (09/14/09 09:56 AM)
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1837245 - 09/14/09 10:16 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9668
Loc: GA
Why is there nothing you can do? As you said, you have EVERY legal right to him and your biological son. That is what courts of law and family services are for.

If they are feeling as miserable as they are making it out to be, do you think there is emotional abuse going on there? Can't you ask for a check on them? If you are not comfortable doing that (and they do not have to tell them who asked for the check) then contact the court. Get a custody revision. The kids can testify if you are ok with that. They can do it in the privacy of the judges chambers instead of open court. This is about their wellbeing, not your XW's stupid notions.

Yes, she put them in this sitiuation, but you don't have to let them stay there.
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
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