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Lostforwords #1890892 12/10/09 10:20 PM
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I am sort of honored that I get to be an old timer blush

whatever

and

i like white space...

always have

gives me room to think


there were several instances, I think, where I was called ont he table

sometimes it was needed

sometimes it wasn't

sometimes I cared

sometimes I didn't

we all need help sometimes but it helps to know that everyone is a real person...with real problems...who has a real hard time getting it too sometimes

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Quote:
Jack is Jack here, but I am not Jack in real-life. I try to be. But, Jack is bigger than I am, better, through Jack I use the DB words when I am not living up to them.


Thorn in ass here.... Your dead wrong on this. The best you is the you in real life. To tell you the truth I found a lot of your posting to be overly gay and fairy tale has never done much for me. Speaking to the man that you are on the phone and through emails is the amazing guy that I consider my friend. I would drink a beer with Jack in real life, I would probably duct tape posting Jack to a locker and make him wear a tutu.....

Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

Mach1 #1891026 12/11/09 02:23 AM
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So ......Muffin....

What exactly would you like on my thread ?

I kinda thought posting to others, that needed it, WAS the purpose of being here.

And if "status" really doesn't matter ( and with me it DOESN'T ), then regardless of my sh!t, my advice should be based on just that, my advice, not my situation....

If I had a "thread".....it would be serious for about three posts....


First things first Craig, Muffin is a very personal thing for me. An amazing woman on these boards gave me that nickname and only Lissie and Fig use that for me. In my opinion it is insulting when you throw it out there like it is a joke. To me it has amazing meaning and is not humorous, it is a sentiment from two amazing women in my life that I treasure.

Secondly, what I would like to see on your thread? Who gives a shitt what I would like to see. My point is you speak of people helping one another yet you do not share your situation as openly on here as others. You began this journey behind the scenes, which I understand and respect, however then you came on here and starting posting to people and never posted your story. You need to give these same people that you so vastly show regard for the opportunity to help you as well. I know what you are dealing with at home, yet you do not have the faith in the people of this board to help you when you need it.

Around here you earn your wings by being open and allowing the people here to see the wretched sadness that you feel and the openly hurting fervor when you post about something that only one left by their spouse would understand. Being and "oldtimer" on here used to mean that you are a survivor and that people on here know you and your inner most dealings with your most intimate part of your life.

Quote:
Most of the good points and real advice that people need to hear, is not around anymore.


Bulshitt, it sure as hell is. If people would venture out from there protected arenas and go read some real threads they may see that there is plenty of incredible advice being served up around here. Just because you don't recognize the names anymore doesnt mean there arent new "Jacks, Brandnewdays, Lissies, Sofaraways, and Swashys" they are here, they just have new names.

Go read some sandi2, or some court0818, or some bluerain. The list goes on and on but if we stay put in our safe little world with our friends who will play with us we never see these amazing newcomers who are doling out incredible advice.

Let me just say one more thing, most of the people who do not post as much as they used to and have moved on through this crazy process, do so because they have gotten a life. Found a better place to focus their time, become people with other interests besides the boards. Sometimes silence is a sign of improvement and not weakness.


Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

sofaraway #1891043 12/11/09 02:44 AM
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Muffin...
I would smoooooooooooooooooooch you if you were here
and
make you
the biggest
baddest
whipped creamiest banana cream pie
your little ole' heart desired

siiiiiiiiiiigh

figgeroni #1891679 12/11/09 06:20 PM
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Quote:

Go read some sandi2, or some court0818, or some bluerain. The list goes on and on but if we stay put in our safe little world with our friends who will play with us we never see these amazing newcomers who are doling out incredible advice


Absolutely.

Round these parts, for the guys Lostforwords and D Money.
There are alot of other people out there giving great advice and Ian is correct...in other forums. Safe little world...heh, nice.

Quote:

...yet you do not have the faith in the people of this board to help you when you need it...


You sank my battleship!

Knowing Craig, I'm not sure that was entirely fair or correct.

By the way 'thorn in the ass' with respect AND gratitude.

Quote:

...I consider my friend. I would drink a beer with Jack in real life, I would probably duct tape posting Jack to a locker and make him wear a tutu.....


Agreed! In a heartbeat. Our 'board personas' haven't gotten along for awhile, but I know without a shadow of a doubt if I called you, you'd make the time for me. : )

Quote:

...found it overly gay...


Well look...consider the source.

The nickname. That nickname will always mean something to you and it should. Especially from those two ladies. From anyone else? WTF should you care if someone else uses it. Me? I'd be smiling because the Deuce has no clue thinking he insulting me when instead it bring up good memories.

Toughen up emotional cupcake.

Hrnmm...

I guess that would be the source.

wink



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

sofaraway #1891692 12/11/09 06:32 PM
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Well said Ian.

Originally Posted By: sofaraway
Go read some sandi2, or some court0818, or some bluerain. The list goes on and on but if we stay put in our safe little world with our friends who will play with us we never see these amazing newcomers who are doling out incredible advice.

Yep, there is a ton of great advice going on in newcomers.

The endless K4D thread is loaded with great advice about detaching.

smith18 #1891911 12/11/09 09:06 PM
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Ian,

First things first.....

I apologize if I offended you....not my intention.

Secondly, I think that a lot of what I typed is open to interpretation by the reader. Those are MY thoughts, they don't have to be yours or anyone elses. I was merely responding to another post.

There are some really great people ( personas) here, and my thoughts have been-always-that.....

These boards, including YOU, have been part of me finding me again, and for that ?

I thank each and everyone of you.

Also, Sorry I missed your call this morning....I was in court.

30 Days from now, after she moves out, I will be legally seperated for the next year, until the D can be finalized.

I am fine with that, a little sad, but fine.

I'll be around most of the weekend.

Mach1 #1891945 12/11/09 09:28 PM
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Quote:

after she moves out


That sure beats the shitt out of the alternative.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans

That sure beats the shitt out of the alternative.


Hell yeah !!!

She has to move...

Shared custody that allows ME to see my kiddies EVERY evening....EVERY evening....

Plus two full weekends out of three....

No Alimony....( she asked )

And pays her own legal bills ( she asked for me to pay hers )

Her Lawyer was a Jack-A$$....He left her alone most of the day BS'ing with his other Lawyer buddies. She looked sad, staring at the floor or into the hole in the ceiling.

Did I mention that my lawyer ROCKS !

We walked into mediation and her lawyer asked how we wanted to respond to the custody issues....My Lawyer said that if shared was NOT agreeable, then we would just take FULL custody, and that we had enough info to do that.....

HE jumped on the deal before he asked her, then talked her into it.......





Last edited by Mach1; 12/11/09 09:40 PM.
Mach1 #1891974 12/11/09 09:58 PM
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Sounds like you made out pretty well, The football team will be glad to hear it.


Me-70, D37,S36
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