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#1834600 - 09/09/09 02:27 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
girlfromoz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 885
Hi Nell

I think when you get clothes you have to have a look as a complete outfit especially a suit.

Only natural to feel sick over your next contact as it has been a while, you just need to make sure you have your thoughts straight in your head before you meet and also how you plan to react when you do see your H.

You won't be back out of control Nell and before you even think this you need to wait and see exactly what it is he wants to see you about. I wouldn't waste precious you time thinking about that at the moment.

Good luck with the spiders and I know what you mean by grass growing so quick but now I don't have to worry my new place doesn't have one blade of grass.
_________________________

Trying to keep hope alive

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#1834611 - 09/09/09 03:31 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: girlfromoz]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Originally Posted By: Deep
For what it's worth, trying to be fair, recognising my own faults that led to distance in our M, understanding why W got angry with me, and making allowances for how she felt all (inadvertantly or not, directly or not) led to her plunging further into an A at that time.


This all scares me - especially when I am thinking of how to deal with H when he arrives to talk about the finances. Why he has chosen now, I don't know. The bills are all up to date and there is currently money in the joint account.

I have drafted my email such:

"Hey (remember, this is how he addressed me)
Sorry, not available this week. Could do Saturday after 3pm or Sunday?

If you let me know exactly what it is that you want to discuss, I can have a think about it before you get here".

Reading it like this, it sounds kind of petty and stand-offish. I also think that he will see this as a ploy to break up his weekend when he may or may not be planning to see ow. He has only been here on a weeknight since he moved all his stuff out. I would just love him to come down on a weekend and it would be a small goal if we could go out for coffee together.

How do I make that happen though?? It's like I've never spoken to him before and now I am nervous for every little contact - have I 'detached' too far?? I think that I am just scared of blowing it.
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1834614 - 09/09/09 04:08 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Lost Rabbit Offline
Member

Registered: 08/26/09
Posts: 1317
Nell youre mind reading hun! He's ET remember he dont make sense.. Your email sounds fine, if you want to make it sound a bit less stand offish how about "Can make Saturday after three or Sunday" That sounds a bit more like you are trying to comply a bit. Dunno if thats giving him too much or not!

Suit sounds nice, Im in the same position as you Im in between sizes on some things although Im only 5ft1 I can do petite bottom half but not petite top half, even though normal sizes the arms are always too long..
_________________________
____________________________

W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!

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#1834615 - 09/09/09 04:16 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Lost Rabbit]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Good points Rabbit. Yes, I shall change the draft to reflect that. I am trying to mind-read and we know that we can't at this time so thanks for pulling me back on that too!

Still not sure on the suit. Will put it on again over the weekend and get the full regalia going - perhaps it will help me to decide and then if I keep it, I can make sure that I have it on when H comes around! It's a pain when you are 1/2 sized, isn't it?

I am 5' 6" so don't have that problem but most Aussie ladies are much taller - it seems that they are all 5' 8" and above, hence the trousers are all long over here! Ah well, small potatoes in the scheme of things ...

I just have to figure out what I am going to say to H now when he gets here ... I want to be prepared because I don't want to end up flustered and lose my DB'ing confidence.
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1834620 - 09/09/09 05:20 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
Hi Nell,

Just sending congratulations on your job. This is great for you on so many levels. Well done!!


Cas

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#1834622 - 09/09/09 05:26 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
girlfromoz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 885
Hi Nell

Don't stress so much about the email not being friendly enough, believe me, my emails were no different and they didn't have a negative effect on my H. You could soften it if you really want with what LR added but I really wouldn't lose sleep over it.

And Nell, no I don't think you have detached too much.

Just for the record I am 5' just scrape it in, so I live in extremely high heels just to get a couple of extra inches oh to be 5'6". Everyone in my family is taller than me, H, S & D.
_________________________

Trying to keep hope alive

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#1834631 - 09/09/09 06:07 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: dolphin_05]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Thanks Cas - it will bring some long awaited relief - even though it is only until December!
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1834632 - 09/09/09 06:09 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Oh goodness - I never considered myself tall but here I am in amongst you vertically challenged bunch!! <grin>
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1834633 - 09/09/09 06:13 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: Eskimo Nell]
gucci loafer Offline
Member

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1408
"Sorry, just got your email. Don't really have time this week.
Just email me what you want to discuss.

THIS is also the time to bring up the bills to him. NOW....


MAKE him come to you. Make him tell you that he WANTS to meet.

Good job. You win the battle of the wills for this round. It was very important.

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#1834634 - 09/09/09 06:17 AM Re: UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach [Re: gucci loafer]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Thanks Gucci - I have been trying so hard and wanted to get this right. I know that your help will see me on good tracks.

Seems you are always there when the moment is crucial!!

I like your suggestion so much ... !! When I make him WANT to meet me, what next??

Please come back soon .... :o)


Edited by Eskimo Nell (09/09/09 06:22 AM)
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
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