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Don't contact. Hold the line here. Bottom line. Chasing a man and pursuing a man who shows they don't want you doesn't work.
What works is to let him come to you and having enough self esteem to hold out until he does.

Hold tight.

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Thanks Gucci .... I'm hanging!


WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09
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Hi Nell

So pleased to hear you dug yourself out of your funk today.. I know how hard it is not ring up and tell H about the funny things the cat did, or how you got an interview (blooming well done hope it goes well) I got to chat to H last night and it was torturous keeping my mouth shut but I managed to stay strong, after all our H's have chosen to go and be where they are right now and chosen not to be in our lives so its basically none of their business. Stay strong Nell you can do this and as someone else said this is now all about you, so enjoy having your hair cut, have something funky, cute and sassy so every time you look in the mirror you think H your loss is my gain.. Off to check my posts but will pop by later..


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Once lost but now found and happily married again!
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Nell, do not contact h yet. Honestly 8 days is nothing! And anyway, he has contacted you in that time - the emails about change of address. See you are in his thoughts!

Why don't you surprise h and pay half the bills yourself anyway? H and I always paid half.


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OK JCJ - I'm resolved to sticking it out with my silence ... I've got nothing to lose. He has to contact me sooner or later, I guess! Yes, I hadn't considered that he must be thinking about me to let me know about his email addresses ... quite right smile Small fries, but fries none the less!!

I have paid more than half the bills in August and what I can afford now for September. That wipes me out. I plan to keep the tax refund quiet as I really HAVE to have a safety net. If he does pull back on his financial support, at least I could use the money to hot foot to the UK as a LAST RESORT.

If I can secure a job in the meanwhile, I would go back to paying 50-50 as we always have. I'm not trying to screw him over but I resent that he is keeping me on a shoe string whilst he is using his excesses to have a holiday with ow and fly interstate to meet up with her. Not quite equitable in my book.

Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 09/03/09 10:00 AM.

WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
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Yeah, I do see your point but so long as the bills are being paid that is the main thing.

So... what's this about a new hairstyle?? smile


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Thanks Rabbit ... yes, I'm gonna start looking at some different styles which might suit. Will do that when I get back from interview tomorrow. I just hope that it goes my way this time but it's a hard market to break in to out here ... such is my speciality.

You are right about it being none of their business when they have chosen to walk away. I feel sorry for H that he is not getting to enjoy the cats - he made a big fuss of them last time he was here and played 'ping-pong' balls with them ... they loved it! I really think that they miss him too.

Well done you on keeping your mouth shut last night! As you say, it's torture at times but right now, I would give anything to have the opportunity of practising that skill. Ah well, my day will come. Just can't help that he is moving on with his life as each day ticks past ...


WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,004
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Yes! New style - new me! H ignored my birthday and I know that he will ignore our WA so I have made an appointment for the day and boy oh boy, is he paying that bill!!!!


WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
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I love messing with my hair it is so much fun. At the moment it is longish blonde, I am trying to grow it but I am thinking after travelling I might do darker (perhaps maybe redder?) for winter and maybe cut a lot of the length off. My natural is kind of mousey - however my eyebrows and eyelashes are blonde so I always get my eyelashes tinted for extra batting effect smile . In fact I am going this lunchtime. I recommend it, it means you don't have to wear make up and your eyes look extra sexy wink

What are you thinking of doing with yours hair?


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I have to say, fussing with my hair has never been a strong point. I'm a bit of a tom boy and so don't go in much for the girlie stuff ... maybe now I should!

Hair is shoulder-length bob-type style currently. Light brown with greys that I mostly get on top of every six weeks or so! Have had my eyelashes tinted in the past but as mine are so dark, it never makes any dramatic effect.

Not sure what to do with my hair this time ... maybe lots of layers, slightly shorter, sassy (as Rabbit says) would be what I am thinking ... has to be age-flattering, easy style and no fuss whatsoever but look stunning as soon as I want it too. Quite like the bed-head look.


WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09
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