I hear you JCJ - and I know that you are right. I just want this horrid feeling to be gone away ... now. It's so draining and I do (at the moment) feel like his victim. I'm working on that though, as you all know.
I so agree about hearing his troubles - they are his and he has to deal with them. I can't even think about it. I just want that situation over once and for good. I just can't help thinking that it gets more serious as each day goes on ... when is it going to break up?? I hate thinking that he loves the tramp more as he loves me less .... I'm being forced out so that she can take over. B*tch. How could she even want to be with a cheating husband when H says that's what caused her D in the first place ... her H couldn't keep his pants on. Why would she want to ... she's a low life anyhow - who would leave their kids to fly interstate to be with a loyal wife's H ... what a tramp - and how can my erstwhile wonderful H fall for that cr*p?? It's just not who he is. .
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Nell, I hear you, I hear you. I think the same thing. Especially when my h's ow wrote on his FB wall 'back off he's mine'. I just thought really? You didn't have any respect for the fact that he was married to someone else when you got with him. Cheeky cow (because I can't say worse things!)! Also, try not to put your h on a pedestal, it was his choices too.
I know it is hard, but you know that he is having an affair but that is it. You don't know what their relationship is like? Try not to dwell. You don't aren't able to measure his feelings for her or for you. Honestly, it isn't worth your effort trying and feelings change all the time.
That's a fair perspective Julia ... I know that the rose garden has it's fair share of thorns for him but I just wish that they would grow faster!
FB has a lot to answer for, eh? I wonder exactly how many M's it has assisted in breaking up and I'm just waiting to see which of our (American!!) buddies goes to sue the owners of the site, first? Perhaps we ought to lead the way and show that it's not always our American friends who are the tough a$$es that they hold the record for being! I can't believe your H's ow did that - pity we can't really swear here, isn't it? I have some other words for FB the meaning of and they can't be repeated!!!
Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 09/04/0908:18 AM.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
OK those of you who thought that I was ready to throw the towel in .. here's the thing:
I have just rung my local Uni and re-registered on the distance learning course that I jacked in when I ran back to the UK after the H-bomb dropped! Now I have plenty to do, less to moan about, more to gain and will have a higher qualification (hopefully soon) which will put me on a higher rung of the ladder in terms of career progression. My next groans will all be about too much studying! You hear me, Shane? ... how about I send YOU a plane ticket to come help me study!! Role reversal - or is that a 180?!!!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Glad to hear the interview went well and really hope its just a formality for getting the job! Although dont get too upset if you dont hear anything today, nobody gets offered a job on a friday as every one at work is thinking about the weekend and not doing their job!
Thanks for your kind words over on my post, I was expecting a wave but was broadsided by S, going to have let what ever he says sweep over me somehow, or just keep passing like ships in the night as Im so busy GAL.
Every thing that has been said on hear about WAS is so true, my H and I also respected our wedding vows and Im sure they are what kept him here longer, if only he had just talked to me but that is quite often not mens strong points and definately not his. And what makes it all the more painful is finding DB and knowing it could be fixed after its all gone wrong, I so wish I had this book in the two and half months of hell we went through before he left.. yep me too did the "I love you and need you" bit to death unknowingly helping him back his bags mentally.
Have a lovely bath tonight Nell pamper yourself and get rid of the gardening stress, I love gardening and its been a bit help therapeutically cutting and digging out my wayward border, although I did have to get H to dig out the roots for me, but hopefully I can get S to help me with that when he is back. Like you I think Im in for the long haul of not seeing H till the end of September which will be hard but I suppose will not kill me and make me stronger. Anyway off to do something useful will pop back in later x
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Morning Rabbit - actually, I reckon you could get away with saying Evening to me now ... it's ten to five in the pm here!
I hope that the interview was a formality too ... thing is it's only a temp job until December for maternity cover - but sometimes those ladies don't come back, do they? I hope that would be the case, if I get lucky enough!! I hear you on the Friday thing and the one interviewer actually apologised to me for wearing jeans ... it's 'dress down Friday' in the office!
Glad that you found some kind words in what I posted to you. It's always nice to give a 'gift' to our sisters here because I really do believe that we should tell the truth about the situations - and that often comes with words which are not so nice to deliver. Means there's a good balance then.
The whole point of this board is perspective and support, so it means that we have to tell the truth as we see it and I think that most people are very good in accepting that. Not many are out to deliberately cause pain to others - we are all hurting far too much for that, otherwise we wouldn't be here, right?
Yes, your son's message was a bit out of left field for you and yet, you are now having time to prepare - for what, we don't know but if you prepare for the worst, that should be a help when the next bomb gets exploded.
You say that you wish that you had the book two and a half months before your H left ... I echo this, wholeheartedly. I recommend that all married couples buy one - and 5LL too! Like you, I also wish that my H had had more in depth talks with me before he mentally packed his bags ... he says that he did but I know that he didn't. He may have felt it was so but if it was, why was I so blindsided and devestated at the huge shock that it was?
I would love to have a good long soak in the tub Rabbit but you have evidently never seen the standard Aussie bath!! You would struggle to get a 5 year old in them! The water shortages demand that we all conserve as much water as we possibly can on a routine basis and so baths have evolved over the years in to these tiny little piddly things. You can get in and wash but nothing for a bit of pamper and luxury. For that we have hot tubs/spas but my H in his wisdom turned ours off before he left and it's now stone cold. OK, I could put it back on but it's not any where near half the enjoyment of sitting out in in on your own. I really would feel like Billy No Mates then!!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
oooh no no no Nell get that hot tub going again, I cant think of nothing nicer than a whole hot tub to myself with a glass of wine and some relaxing music.. dont know about billy no mates, more a move over mates this is all billy's lol.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
