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#1804863 - 07/20/09 06:42 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
So my topic for today, the WASs temporary insanity, will be postponed...

Going to work tomorrow and the next day.

Had to get some $$ from my dad for food. Ouch.

Found an email I had sent H pre-bomb...was really sad. I was so loving and direct and clear about wanting to hear him and for us to focus on making things better.

I really feel that an OW showed up some time in September.

I know this isn't supposed to matter. It is in the past.

But when and how do you give up on A) getting the truth and B) Getting WAS to see it?

I really do want to understand how people let go of that or if there is some peace in getting the truth.

The last time H left and came back, getting the truth was like a nice warm bath and I felt so weightless...relieved. It really helped to see it clearly and to have H acknowledge it.

Anyway, lots to do because I am going to be working the next couple of days.
_________________________


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#1804872 - 07/20/09 06:56 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
SmileysPerson Offline
Member

Registered: 03/26/09
Posts: 1757
Loc: Coastal City
when and how do you give up on A) getting the truth and B) Getting WAS to see it?

When? When you need to. When you recognize, and can admit you recognize, that A) there is no "truth" and B) WAS ain't gonna see anything WAS doesn't want to see.

How? Any way you can.
_________________________
"I wanted to change the world. But I found the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself." -- Aldous Huxley

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#1804884 - 07/20/09 07:17 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: SmileysPerson]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
There is a truth as far as when he met OW and whether that was a factor when H chose to leave and explains why nothing I said or did helped or got through to him.

But I get your point.
_________________________


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#1804939 - 07/20/09 08:34 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
The Wifey Offline
Member

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 2306
Loc: Upstate NY
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking


I really feel that an OW showed up some time in September.

I know this isn't supposed to matter. It is in the past.

But when and how do you give up on A) getting the truth and B) Getting WAS to see it?

I really do want to understand how people let go of that or if there is some peace in getting the truth.



A) Who's truth would you get right now? Yours, his or the mailman's?
B) He has to figure out the truth for himself and he can't do it right now.

Peace, the only one holding you back from Peace right now is who? You, my dear. I'm sorry, it hurts, it stinks right out loud, and you want to scream so he can hear you.

Let it go right now. Work on you. Work on you. Work on awesome, one-of-a-kind, wonderful you.
_________________________
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.


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#1804970 - 07/20/09 09:12 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: The Wifey]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
I guess the mailman might be objective...although he's a guy so not sure.

I've decided that I can be pissed off and still do what I need to do.

It is just too much right now.

I am supposed to work but now he is telling me he can't pick up the kids because of his broken limb (which is because he put off dealing with an old injury)...

I am going to have my water and power disconnected if I don't come up with more money than I am able to right now.

F8ck it. I'm disgruntled but I will keep going and I will make sure to stop and smell the roses.
_________________________


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#1804972 - 07/20/09 09:17 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
CityGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 2612
I hate to say this but I think you need to see an atty at once and get some sort of motion filed (not sure how your state works so that might not be the correct term to use) for some immediate financial support from your H.

You have children and right now you are needing to borrow money from your dad to feed them and now your water and power might be shut off. That is not acceptable and your H needs to be a part of this equation.

I would call the water and power company and see if some sort of emergency arrangement can be made. Call legal aid and see what can be done.

I know its hard to take those steps but you need some stability for the basics (food, power, water) and a legal agreement might be the best way to go.

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#1804974 - 07/20/09 09:20 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: CityGirl]
givingitmyall Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 3844
Loc: Southeast
AAK,

I agree with the L consult. Depending on your state, you should be able to have $$$$ released quickly to pay yours and the kids expenses. And that includes $$$ for a L.


Edited by givingitmyall (07/20/09 09:20 PM)
_________________________
Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
Current

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#1804975 - 07/20/09 09:20 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: CityGirl]
The Wifey Offline
Member

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 2306
Loc: Upstate NY
I have to say I agree.
_________________________
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.


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#1804978 - 07/20/09 09:27 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: The Wifey]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
I agree too except that he is broke and I want some assistance dealing with the emotional part. I am trying to make some money to pay for therapy so I can handle proceeding with the legal.

If I thought he had any money, I would file immediately but he doesn't.
_________________________


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#1804980 - 07/20/09 09:29 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: The Wifey]
orangedog Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1181
Call the L right away. In some states support amounts are based right off of formulas and taken right out of paychecks (or bank accounts).
_________________________
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh

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