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#1804240 - 07/19/09 04:16 PM Dreams of a New Normal...
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
My dream last night was a literal one, you know the rare dream that feels "real" and you wonder "did that happen" when you wake up?

Since H was at a party until past midnight with S9 at the home of friends of his who never really got me (cultural and financial differences)...of course I needed to follow up with a dream of walking into that party to retrieve S9 because it was too damed late. And it was weird and sucked and I felt so alien and people looked at me weird. And certain women looked like they might be someone who might be with him or fancy the possibility of being my sweet son's step-mom. And H was pissy and rude and embarrassing and I went to friend who was having the party and started to explain why I was there to which he responded "I am HIS friend, not sure why you are talking to me"...and there were other people there who I used to know as friends but now felt worse than strangers...

And, of course we argued over S9...in a juvenile way, as H taunted me and delighted in my frustration.

WTF?

Ironically H texted me yesterday asking if S9 could watch a certain movie he knows is inappropriate...then he apologized (we JUST agreed not to text or call unless it is urgent). But, ya, he's really showing me who's in charge now.

S9 called me to tell me they were going out to this party (he should have been getting ready for bed because he had been out late two nights in a row and was exhausted)...so of course it unnerved me (win for H).

And then H texted me at 11ish that I'd have to pick up S9 later this morning because they were still out.

And then H texted me past 12 to tell me about how friend was talking about something he used to make fun of me for (something related to social consciousness) and H pointed out that I was saying that 10 years ago and how ironic it was...

So around we go. AND, S6 reported something to H that was grossly exaggerated and could get me in serious trouble when it comes to custody...I see what he is doing and it frightens me. He is so enamored with his dad and he sees me as the impasse...may as well just tear my heart out and eat it with a nice chianti. cry

Still being productive. Feels like taking a grain of sand off of a giant mound every time I do one little thing and the wind seems to blow in two more grains for every grain I take...but enough with my metaphors.

Dishes
Exercise
Shower
Bank Deposit (woohoo $60)
Work a little if there's time
Pick up the cuties

I have to admit, I am a zombie in motion assuming I will awaken to life if I just stay in it.
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#1804242 - 07/19/09 04:19 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Oh, and BTW, my topic is a wish for "dreams of a new normal"...if I could see it, I could move toward it.
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#1804243 - 07/19/09 04:20 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
SmileysPerson Offline
Member

Registered: 03/26/09
Posts: 1757
Loc: Coastal City
And some fava beans, too, I expect.

It's terrible how easily kids can become part of the problem. The Disneyland Dad. A nightmare.

You're going to have to set boundaries on these young children. It may need to go to Lawyer-Land, because the more H gets away with the bigger a "bad guy" you'll be when you finally rope it all in.

Don't forget -- your corner is full of supporters.
_________________________
"I wanted to change the world. But I found the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself." -- Aldous Huxley

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#1804247 - 07/19/09 04:26 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
hoosiermama Offline
Member

Registered: 05/26/08
Posts: 2591
Loc: Indianapolis
Quote:
I have to admit, I am a zombie in motion assuming I will awaken to life if I just stay in it.
exactly! aka "fake it 'til you make it." good technique. just keep moving. you're doing great, actually. I know it doesn't feel that way, but you are.
_________________________
M54
H47
D14
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09

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#1804266 - 07/19/09 04:48 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: hoosiermama]
SmileysPerson Offline
Member

Registered: 03/26/09
Posts: 1757
Loc: Coastal City
Remind me not to run into you when you're feasting upon the flesh of we living humans!
_________________________
"I wanted to change the world. But I found the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself." -- Aldous Huxley

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#1804270 - 07/19/09 04:51 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: SmileysPerson]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Originally Posted By: SmileysPerson
Remind me not to run into you when you're feasting upon the flesh of we living humans!


Ha, that took me a second. I'm a vegetarian zombie... grin
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#1804297 - 07/19/09 06:19 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
mac-ct Offline
Member

Registered: 07/11/09
Posts: 934
Loc: Cape Town, South Africa
Quote:
My dream last night was a literal one, you know the rare dream that feels "real" and you wonder "did that happen" when you wake up?


Alive that is so bizarre! I've just had one of those which I posted in my thread. Hope it's a premonition of things to come......

Nodded off and saw and heard my W so very clearly.
She was walking in through the front door as usual - our little Jack Russell rushed to W who said "hello mommy" as she normally does.

Absolutely bizarre.

Loosing it?

Not on meds BTW!

Mac

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#1804365 - 07/19/09 09:27 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: mac-ct]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Yes, hopefully yours is a premonition. Mine, let's hope not.

When I picked up S9 which was made complicated by H not being where he said he would be, I caught up with them. S looked exhausted. H wanted to know if I had time for a drink. I said no. H told me how nice I looked and wanted to chat and drag it out. H hugged me and accidentally touched the boobs (you know the routine). Then he said he needed to talk to me and S9 was right there and I said I need to go, not with him there and H continued...wow, did that digress fast (money, what the kids are going through, of course what other people think on his "side") and ended with H saying "Look, I was trying to be so nice, hugging you and everything..." I said "I don't want your dirty filthy hugs." Oops, lost it a little.

Picked up S6 from friends' house. He got little sleep and was immediately miserable and complaining about wanting to go to his dad's...so sad. He is just miserable.
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#1804372 - 07/19/09 09:37 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
And now he wants to come work in his office tonight. Aaargh.
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#1804377 - 07/19/09 09:47 PM Re: Dreams of a New Normal... [Re: aliveandkicking]
Sara Offline
Member

Registered: 06/10/07
Posts: 6350
Loc: Tampa, FL
I have a cat like that. He meows at the door for me to let him out. So I open the door. Then a few minutes later he meows again and I open the door. He pokes his head and two paws into the house and lies down on the doorjamb. Nope, he's not going anywhere, and you're not closing the door.

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