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Well, if I tell him he can't work on his computer, I can't very well complain about him not giving me money.
But, I see that until all of our things are physically separated, there will be excuses.
In the narcissist paradigm, H is wounded because of my disapproval and seeks it desperately.
My part, I'm so wounded by my own childhood, I can't seem to close the door on a possible R...and saving the marriage. But, I realize that I need space and boundaries so desperately.
I am super pissed off right now. And he succeeds at making me question, Gee, what's my problem? Kids freaking out, no money, no job, and H constantly reaffirming that it was my fault...why am I not a shiny happy person around him?
Well, I think I may be working more this week...I can't say I'm crazy about the constraints of shuttling the kids around, racing to work, trying to get it all done...but, welcome to the real world, right?
Well, I was very pleasant with H tonight (anyone see the movie Sybil ) but when he suggested leaving his laundry...uh, no. And then he lingered around sifting through things to take, I told him now wasn't the best time for this and then as he persisted, I said "Ok, I think it is time for you to go now" and I went and opened the front door and led him out." All very civil but the feeling of having him casually plucking items just unnerved me so.
I did good.
He called me after to thank me for letting him work here. I thanked him for working. And that was that.
He called again but didn't answer, haven't checked the messages yet.
Tomorrows topic- Is WASness a form of temporary insanity? TBD.