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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
I'm curious, at what stage is he reminding you of yourself (in months) and how long from that point was till you really "got it"?

He reminds me of me right now. He's saying the same things I've said over the last several weeks. You're the only 0ne who can know if he's sincere or if he really gets it. My W tells me that she believes I've changed, that I love her, that I'm sorry, etc., etc. I can only assume that she really does. I have had a lot of conversational time with her to share my evolution and thought process though....and I'm on this forum which may not prove anything either.

Last edited by RedSoxFan; 08/30/09 10:50 PM.

AKA: "Ben the school teacher"
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Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20
Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08
My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09
W w/OM 6/09-11/09

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Hold on here...he has not told me he loves me or that he wants me back or that he is sorry. He has made no mention at all of regretting or questioning his decision to leave.

He only acts possessive and contacts me a lot and is starting to ask me out and is complimenting me...

Different, don't you think?



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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Hold on here...he has not told me he loves me or that he wants me back or that he is sorry. He has made no mention at all of regretting or questioning his decision to leave.

He only acts possessive and contacts me a lot and is starting to ask me out and is complimenting me...

Different, don't you think?


Yes. Way, way different.


AKA: "Ben the school teacher"
---
Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20
Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08
My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09
W w/OM 6/09-11/09

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crazy



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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Hold on here...he has not told me he loves me or that he wants me back or that he is sorry. He has made no mention at all of regretting or questioning his decision to leave.

He only acts possessive and contacts me a lot and is starting to ask me out and is complimenting me...

Different, don't you think?




Maybe he's ready to start contacting you and asking you out and complimenting you BEFORE he is ready to tell you that he loves you and that he wants you back and that he is sorry! He may be ready to have something to do with you again BEFORE he's ready to mention that he regrets and/or questions his decision to leave! There may not be any particular order in which these things happen...I don't know. Yeah...it may be different...but maybe it's a start!


"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Hold on here...he has not told me he loves me or that he wants me back or that he is sorry. He has made no mention at all of regretting or questioning his decision to leave.

He only acts possessive and contacts me a lot and is starting to ask me out and is complimenting me...

Different, don't you think?


Yes, but as I think about it it, everybody is different. Maybe a bigger ego requires a little bit of validation to get to the next step. He may be looking for a response from you to make him feel safe to move to a next step. May bot be the way you want it to happen but it's possible that it's forward movement.


AKA: "Ben the school teacher"
---
Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20
Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08
My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09
W w/OM 6/09-11/09

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Hey A&K, I have not read your whole situation. How long has your H been gone? Was he having an A?

Sounds like my sitch is similar to yours in that H asks to do things, etc., but it is only with our son, never just the two of us. He's been gone almost 16 months. He says he doesn't have the "right" feelings for me. As far as I can tell, he is not seriously involved with another woman, but I know he's had at least one EA in the past, possibly two. We both keep hinting that we have to end this marriage, but we don't get very far with those conversations, and meanwhile, we keep hanging out and doing things together, yet we don't seem to get any closer emotionally although we're great friends, and still have a very strong bond due to our 21 year history together and our son, and it really screws with my head, and his head too.

Where is your head with regards to your H?

I read RSF's posts and think that is probably the only way my H would change his mind about his feelings for me, although I don't think he'd ever admit anyway, He'd just let me go.

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newgal- H left 9 months ago. I believe that he was extremely distracted by one or more other women.

My H is asking me to go to a movie with him or a play...just the two of us but I tried the doormat approach (dating occasionally, listening, validating, having sex) for months and I finally said no more.

Where my head is? I have accepted that divorce is imminent. I am clear that I need to move on...but, I am still heartbroken for my kids and have the tiniest window open to H.



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So, I received an email about H's travel plans tonight.

And then, an email detailing why he is the way he is and acknowledging how impossible he was in the M, and that he discovered so many emails in which I was so supportive and loving during our M and how beautiful and wonderful I am and what a jerk he is and really in depth analysis about his faults and self-centeredness and unpredictability.

And, just when you think this is a potentially good thing...it is because of his astrological sign and there is nothing he can do about it and he has accepted himself the way he is.

And again, that I am beautiful and a great person and he is glad to see me doing so well and if he were me he would stay away from (his astrological sign).

So, what the F*ck do I do with that????

He followed with a text letting me know he had sent me a "revealing" email...alert the press, I have an email from H that can't wait...



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Let me guess....he is a scorpio. Yes? No?

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