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Honestly, I am "finding myself"...and I am enjoying it.
But, the goal...I don't have one anymore other than handling my life with sanity and civility and setting small goals that I can meet.

Where H fits in this, I'm not sure.


Sound it sounds to me like you already have other plans for Sat night then. Send regrets to your mutual friend in it and see if he can get a DVD copy for you to watch.

There are other fish to fry after this with your husband. Plus watch his reaction after you are too busy to go with him. You are starting to bloom. Keep it up.


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I was able to articulate to a friend who asked me to focus on what I want and not "he's not doing x or y," that basically, I didn't get that feeling of "yes. I want to go with him" and without that certainty and enthusiasm, I wont do it. That is all I've got to go on.

The whole "I have plans thing" is weird because I have my kids that night and I'm happy to have them and that is plans enough for me but it is not as if I have something uber exciting and they tell him flipping everything we do...

He's here now working. Very unnerving...surprise, surprise, he HAD to work on his computer here (which I do believe but interesting timing since I still haven't responded to the invite).

So, I need to focus on our separation agreement/ possible filing

and

getting a new place where there is no reason for him to come around AND I have my own sense of peace and property

work...

and

GAL...

Thank you guys for sticking with me here.



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Oh, Coach, do you vote for "I have plans already" or just ignoring the email and seeing if it comes up again?



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Quote:
it is not as if I have something uber exciting


Who said your plans have to "Ta-Daa! Pa-laaaaaaannns!"?

Plans is plans is plans is plans. "I'm watching 'Nemo' with a 6-year-old" is waaay better than "I'm going to the Oscars."

Quote:
getting a new place where there is no reason for him to come around AND I have my own sense of peace and property


Hooah!

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Well, the moving thing is contingent upon the sep. agreement which is contingent upon having $ for representation which is contingent upon selling item that is taking way longer to sell than anticipated...

H was here and boy did that suck. Was nice for him to come in and make himself a little something (brought his own food at least)...I mentioned that he said he would only be in the office, but, with kids here (and of course soooo excited to have daddy here), I decided not to make a huge stink. But, he got that he was not playing by the rules (probably liked that too).

So, I managed to get the kids out of here to go do whatever...but through tantrums and breakdowns (H here adds emotional weight to a sitch that is already heavy on them, transitioning etc)...

Came back and made dinner...weird...I had a moment where I thought, "dumb a**hole" he could be f*cking his wife right now and getting fed a nice meal. Anyhoo...I guess, he looked kind of cute today...dammit.

But, he was lingering around while leaving, I gave him a barely hug (I had dripping dishwashing gloves on) and then as he took his time, I picked up his things and smiled. "Okay, have a great night." I walked him to the door. He mentioned the email about the play and said "but I guess you don't wanna do that." I answered, "ya, it doesn't really work for me." He said, "it's the closing night." I said, "well maybe I can get it on DVD" (thanks Coach)...and his said, "Ya, friend said it might be extended." I said, "excellent!" And, off he went...

Now, back to MEEEEEE...



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Quote:
But, he was lingering around while leaving, I gave him a barely hug (I had dripping dishwashing gloves on) and then as he took his time, I picked up his things and smiled. "Okay, have a great night." I walked him to the door. He mentioned the email about the play and said "but I guess you don't wanna do that." I answered, "ya, it doesn't really work for me." He said, "it's the closing night." I said, "well maybe I can get it on DVD" (thanks Coach)...and his said, "Ya, friend said it might be extended." I said, "excellent!" And, off he went...

Now, back to MEEEEEE...


Great job AAK.


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Thanks hun. I'm just glad it's over.



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I am sure that wasn't easy. But, I can hear you getting stronger and stronger.


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Overall you did holding it together.

Except for that "looking cute" part.

So goes another day.


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Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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Word up, dawg! Nicely handled.

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