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Well I don't know if I'm the one to ask around here. H needs to "get it" and understand how his behavior affects you and the kids before you move any closer otherwise you're repeating the same sitch again. I know you've spelled it out before but do it again and don't move his direction until you see a sign of change. It might be very difficult to understand for someone who is truly narcisistic as H might be.
You can't keep crashing your head into a brick wall.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh