Just tired of dealing with H. The money stuff is so stressful and I am resentful (despite my improved outlook)...
But after texting me about some money issues, he just texted "You doing ok otherwise?"
I want to say, "Oh, you mean other than my kids falling apart, no money to pay the bills, no job prospects, a house full of all of your sh*t and having to start from scratch? Yes, other than that, I'm fine."
F*ck, I hate the moments when I remember how he would have gone above and beyond to ensure I was happy...sometimes I am endeared by his checking in on me and trying to connect and gain my trust. But, really, once he gets an ounce of gratification, he just takes it and moves on and I am still on my own.
I am okay. Just writing something that makes me nostalgic but it is a project I am excited about...so, it is worth it.
Just tired of dealing with H. The money stuff is so stressful and I am resentful (despite my improved outlook)...
But after texting me about some money issues, he just texted "You doing ok otherwise?"
I want to say, "Oh, you mean other than my kids falling apart, no money to pay the bills, no job prospects, a house full of all of your sh*t and having to start from scratch? Yes, other than that, I'm fine."
But, I guess I should just not answer or say yes.
any thoughts?
OK OTHERWISE WHAT??? @#$%^!!!!! (SIGH)
A/K, I do NOT know if this is right or not. Okay? I mean it, I am not sure...But damn.... I would have to succinctly touch that. Just say, "Excuse me H, but are you really asking me how I am dealing with ALL Of this? OR did you want a one word answer that shows I acknowledge YOUR generous concern? B/C let's not do the fake act anymore, it's a MASK I don't want to wear when we are not in front of the kids. WE're both adults and you know you have hurt me and US though you will probably never know how much. SO be it. Let's move forward now without the pretense of things being "just great". I will be fine, b/c of who I AM.....and we will co-parent as best we can. And that's it. I wish the best for you but from now on, please spare me the feigned gestures of gentlmanly, husbandly concern. It's too much to ask of me at this point. As long as you don't act as if I have amnesia, we'll be fine and can go forward with what's left, which is our children and a good past long ago....
I am going with my gut and instinct here. DBing would be shorter. The alternative in the DB world would be something like "Sure I'm okay. I'm MORE Than okay! I'm great. Why wouldn't I be?" That's another option....I would not give a one word answer b/c he wants either that, or an answer that shows YOU think he's being there for you, and I could not stomach that. Sorry.
Your h really bugs me. Can you tell? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I'd give him a two word answer. First word starts with "F" and rhymes with "duck".
(Of course I'm not it a good position to give advice right now. M ending Monday.)
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
I'd give him a two word answer. First word starts with "F" and rhymes with "duck".
(Of course I'm not it a good position to give advice right now. M ending Monday.)
SO sorry to hear that Orange....that sucks...big time. I do have 2 relatives who div and remarried 5 years later, if that helps. Actually telling them that at this time would NOT have helped them. They needed to heal and become who they needed to become. But they had kids like you and they DID co-parent, eventually, well. That bonded them and that grew and the rest is history. It does happen.
But if not, be well...take care of yourself. No one else will today. So you will, and you will be alright, someday. I hope sooner, rather than later. ((( ))) j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Well, I had texted "ya"...damn one word answer and then he sent me a text about how depressed he is about money and then "when did life become so stressful for everyone?"
I said, "I guess when people lose sight of what really matters...I'm still trying to have gratitude. I gotta run." It was 11pm.
Just now we had heated discussion about money and at one point he said that he knows I'm angry with him but can't I just talk to him (meaning listen and don't express any disagreement). I finally heard Coach's words in my head and I told H to please stop mind reading. Ha, he said "what?" I said, you're mind reading, you don't know what I feel and you really shouldn't assume and if you want to know, just ask." Now, back to the money...
25- that paragraph you wrote is the most succinct, well articulate message I could have sent. I have said similar in pieces but wow that packs a punch. And, I may just have to use it even as an afterthought...
I feel like an ant moving a rubber tree plant...but I've got "high hopes, high hopes, high apple pie in the sky hopes...oops there goes another rubber tree plant."
