Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

OH, I neglected to mention, if I leave my current employer, I will then have access to my retirement accounts and presto, debt problems solved!

I'm scared but excited about this.

And yeah, 54 miles, 27 each way with no detours, so if I go shopping or something, that goes up in a hurry.

I was just looking at apartments from my town I want to move back to, If not within blocks of the potential new job and I might just be able to do this! Freedom!!!

[still.struggling]

I love the positive outlook. All you have to do is be patient. I hope you get the job...and I hope you can get an apartment closer to your kids. This just brightened my day. Thank you for the uplift Dylan.

[dday101798]

Well, never heard from my lovely XW, real nice. It's not very often if at all that I say I NEED to talk to you. Real responsible.

Also concidering the fact that S12 had texted and called just after midnight Monday morning.

And she wonders why I've finally gotten over her. I mean seriously, you screw my life up along with so many others, the least you can do is give me 5 minutes of your precious time to have a conversation, unless that is OM forbeyed it, and if so, we're going to have serious problems in that regard.

Anywho,

Had a GREAT, but confusing night/morning. Went out with friend and her daughter to a concert in the park. Price was right, free and bring your own drinks. Show was pretty decent. This was the same friend's daughter I had consoled about her lacking father last week. Guess who showed up to the show? Her father, after her begging him on the phone for at least 20 minutes, he said he was to busy. Need I mention he lives 4 blocks from where we were.

Miraculously the dirt bag showes up. Albeit stand-offish and barely says anything to her. Ahh, allow me to interviene. After observing him for nearly an hour saying nothing to his daughter but having a great old time with everyone else, I let him have it. Told him to quit being a selfish jack and be a father to his daughter as she is really upset about his lack of presense. Insert a few colorful metaphors to the message and you get the gist. It surely was effective tho, he would not let her out of his sight and attention span for the duration of the night.

And that's where it gets goofy. Co-mingle what I had done, a few drinks, some music and voala, one thing leads to another and friend is, well, rather friendly. Bad part is is that I feel no attachment to the situation, but I think she does. Ugh, I don't need this. She knows where I stand on not wanting any relation right now, so hopefuly that is going through her head right now. Meh, maybe it will just blow over, who knows.

[dday101798]

Ok wtf now?

S12 called and wanted to get together, and I had to explain to him that I was already home and with little gas or money so we'd have to do a rain check.

After a while of this, I asked if XW was around to talk for a moment.

She got on the phone all pleasent, we talked about child support issues and financials going down the tube yada yada, then out of nowher she askes if I talk to friend from last night still. I said yes, we talk, hang out on occasions, and I personally don't think that's any of your business. The response? She went ape and on a holy tear filled tangent saying we can't be friends EVER if I can't give her a straight answer.

How more straight could I be? I answered point blank clear.

So dinners with the kids will never happen, we'll never exist on a 'friendly' basis because I feel and know that whatever happens in MY personal life is none of her business?!?!?

Real cute. This game never ends does it? Someone (me in this case) always has to be wrong. And for what? The war is over for pete's sake. I don't get it, I really don't.

[dday101798]

SO I take it this is the jealous WAS syndrome?

Edit, so how is it exactly that a WAS justify what they've done when a LBS moves on post tense? I lost that 'arguement' hard core. I just don't understand it, XW leaves me for immediately for OM and now I have to justify what I do with my life on my time?

[NoCodeBlues]

3 words: Insane Double Standard.

[Virtually_Handsome]

dday.....

If she is doing the MLC dance, which seems a real possibility, trying to apply normal, logical reasoning is a futile effort. Rather, you need to apply three year old reasoning. The world revolves around me, everyone is here to serve me.... I want what I want, and it is the world's problem to give it to me. And I can't do anything wrong, since I'm three, and I'm cute.

[dday101798]

Heh, the world revolves around her, I can give her no more. I gave her everything. I can make no more sacrafices.

VH, you're right, the moment she exploded claiming I gave her a 'crappy attitude' I went completely logical in my response adn calm at that and she got more and more irrate.

Even more so, she tried to validate the D on me?!?

Umm, all I could say was I starred at that door for 10 long months, but that wasn't enough in her terms.

[dday101798]

Emotional crash. Want to reach out to XW so bad, but I know I can't do that.

I don't understand this. I don't comprehend.

I've cutt off all emotional attachment to her, I swear. But yet I feel obligated to answer to her stance. Especially after she accuses me of our kids no longer having a full time father.

I know it's all lies and games, but it twists my mind.

[sandi2]

Hi, I've not read any of your thread but this one post got my attention b/c I can tell by just this "one"....that your most certainly ARE NOT detached b/c if you were.....you would not care what she thought and you wouldn't feel the need to defend yourself. You are probably trying very hard to get there, but it doesn't sound as if you've quite made it. Don't stop trying. I am sure I would be the same way b/c it has always been a "thing" for me to try to defend or justify myself and would be hard to stay quiet. However, "you" know what is true about yourself.....and so does she. It isn't necessary to tell her what she already knows.

Take care,
Sandi