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And even during the sep. we each get mushy and call or email each other on Easter, V-day and on our anniversary.


I don't know if that is better or worse...probably better when you're not detached and worse when you are.



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<laughing> I don't know if it's better or worse either, but I'm looking forward to our anniv. this year because of it. laugh


The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.

My sitch - Divorce Busted!
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
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Ya, despite my glowing detachment, I have had to resist urges to remind H of the date... wink

let it come and go. Here's something I wrote on our actual anniversary (through streaming tears)...so much better now!



anniversary

just a day
no longer momentous
just a day
barely a flicker
just a day
that was once so much more
just a day
a promise
a kiss
just a day



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[
grin [/quote]
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Originally Posted By: theroadback
well nice to meet ya Kevin.


huh?


Who is Kevin? don't make me search, I'm lazy right now... what did he do?


That would be me.

Kevin

well nice to meet ya Kevin

I was just trying to be polite ..

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Originally Posted By: theroadback



[
grin
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Originally Posted By: theroadback
well nice to meet ya Kevin.


huh?


Who is Kevin? don't make me search, I'm lazy right now... what did he do?


That would be me.

Kevin

well nice to meet ya Kevin

I was just trying to be polite ..
[/quote]

Got it. wink



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My anniversary comming up also, I think I'm just just going blow it off.

or what the H@ll maybe I'll get a tatoo myself, ya a phoenix or something.

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Originally Posted By: theroadback
My anniversary comming up also, I think I'm just just going blow it off.

or what the H@ll maybe I'll get a tatoo myself, ya a phoenix or something.


I don't know why the "what the H@ll" made me LOL...something about you just branding yourself for life on whim...maybe. grin



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Do NOT get a tattoo for your anniversary. That's like getting the Mark of the Beast on your body b/c of an idiot WAS. And yeah, I'm a bit of a snob about what tattoos represent, not to mention how MLC they are AND besides, having worked in a hospital with a burn unit, I'll NEVER understand why someone would harm their skin intentionally....might need it for a graft someday...

Anyhow, anniversary---"just a day"...."just a day that lead to the lives of two new people in my world" and now, the departure of a 3rd person who became a parasite...oh well. Plan something for you & nope, you don't have to take your kids to Italy but make sure YOU are happy & busy then. No reminders...

And the "modicum" of financial security you feel with your h, A/K is an illusion.

Find that "good/great lawyer" in YOUR UNCLE (??) and fix your sitch so you don't keep finding excuses to convince yourself you still need all this drama in your life. You don't.

Your h offers NO FINANCIAL SECURITY at all. How you convinced yourself he did, b/c he SOMETIMES pays you more than child support, in THIS state which allows for alimony AND goes by what he is capable of earning not what he is now earning/under-earning, AND the disparity in your ability to earn (IOW a good state for YOU), is beyond me.

But you have to snap out of this. Now. Get with the program....

J-


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Ok 25. I am either sucking at communicating or you skimmed cuz,

A) The tattoo thing was in jest and about a page ago I made the same case for why NOT to get a tattoo, especially in the midst of all this.

B) Anniversary day today is no biggie. The poem was from 3 months ago and I know why I felt that way and I feel much better today. I thought I made that clear...that I have gratitude for what it was.

C) My relative L will charge me $5K for a retainer and $495 an hour so without money, it is not happening right now (I am waiting to find out if something I am trying to sell will pan out)

D) With no money and overhead that is too high, as of this exact moment, I am covered by H. It is not "financial security" and I don't see it as that but I need an exit strategy and I need money to cover me in the interim if H pulls back on me. Again, hopefully the item I am selling will come through. I should know soon or on to Plan B (yet to be hashed out).

E) The work, alimony, assets issues are complex and I have gotten very different takes from two different Ls as to what I can expect and it is a toss up. There are also tax ramifications (H has a corp and pays little in taxes, alimony I receive will be taxable plus other issues beyond my scope). And, H wants to declare bankruptcy...it is complicated. I am eager to get representation so I am not flying blind.

I am SO fine today. I am just doing a regular day of working, straightening up and maybe checking out a meditation class tonight. I don't need to fill my day or be distracted because I am fine. I mentioned the anniversary here because I am not mentioning it to him and I actually found it interesting how much easier it is today than it was just a few months ago.

And, the drama is being handled by moi. If H texts or calls, I don't respond. If he emails (kid or biz related), I do. Short but sweet. And he gave me the money I asked him for today with very little question.

By NO means am I suggesting I have this all figured out. And, there may be drama and I may come on here for advice but the circumstances are complex and I am not a hasty person. It is tough to stagnate and I get your frustration but I am not gonna go off half cocked without representation...I just can't right now.



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I hear ya, but the tattoo comments were also half in jest. I mean I guess I don't really like them But definitely think getting one b/c of THOSE WAS's is a mistake....more like erasing them makes more sense to me.

Sorry your uncle is so expensive. Thank GOD he's family....um, no comment. Okay I will comment. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That's what he'd charge YOU!??
no wonder people tell me L jokes all the time. They're not jokes; they're insults and true stories...
Crap...
j-


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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