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#1818739 - 08/13/09 08:12 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: Serenity13]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 10626
Loc: west coast
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
Catholic stance on divorce is as follows...(I am not catholic just trying to help Kevin)

The Old Testament did allow divorce, but then it was mostly Hebrew scripture. Divorce was disallowed at the time of Jesus Christ (the New Testament).

The official position then of the Catholic Church is that marriage is a sacrament that cannot be dissolved. A valid marriage has to endure until one spouse dies. The surviving spouse then is allowed to remarry. The Catholic Church does not grant divorce decrees nor does it recognize divorces issued by other religions or institutions.

The Catholic Church can, however, annul a marriage if there is sufficient proof that the marriage was invalid to begin with. Grounds for annulment include being forced to marry someone, not having enough information about that individual – as an example – if the party was an abuser, a convicted rapist and if the individual lied (about wanting children as one example). A marriage can also be annuled by the Catholic Church if the sexual act was not consummated.

If Catholics divorce and remarry, they are still welcome to worship but they cannot receive the Holy Eucharist.


Please Re read my post. That info is a tad out of date. I know this. My Catholic brother just married for the 2nd time, to a woman entering her 2nd marriage and both of them have 3 daughters. They married IN the church with a full mass. I WAS THERE and I know my brother did not get an annulment. His first M was not in the Church but some other denomination. Maybe that was a distinction that would allow for an annulment BUT there was NO annulment and I am Catholic and studied canon law at Catholic U Law School. In short, there is a bit more leeway and room than kev4 is able to handle right now and or that some other denominations do not know of. Period.

True, the Church does NOT grant divorces. But they don't banish you nor forever keep you from participating in the Eucharist if you are granted one (unless you filed for it and even then, it's not an absolute prohibition. My sister in law was beaten and abused and her children were kidnapped by her first h...Thank GOD she won't be punished the rest of her life for the mistake of marrying him at the ripe old age of 18).

Enough of the religion please. It is a deflection for kevin to avoid doing the work he needs to do. I couldn't even finish reading the scriptural quotes that are used and misused all the time. Waste of time. Who are you trying to convince and of what? No one here wants to debate God's existence with you. We want YOU to stop using him as an excuse for your stubborness which is a HUGE obstacle to growth for you....can't you see that?

And frankly, some marriages SHOULD end, BUT to see it your way Kevin, would mean an abused woman who married at age 18 b/c of some insecurity or weekend crazyiness, or mistaken vision of "love", could NEVER file for divorce, and IF she filed for a separation only...b/c divorce is so wrong/ she better be in a state that allows it AND she better not ever have another man just b/c she married the first man when she was 18, mistakenly at a young age, and that man victimized her. No, I don't believe God would compound that terrible situation by forever punishing her...I just don't. Divorce is hated by God, okay I'll accept that. I believe it. But there ARE things he hates more.... There's something called prayerful thought, but perhaps it allows for too much freedom for some to handle.

My brother takes care of his w and his step daughters, after they were taken to a refugee camp overseas...and traumatized for 18 months. He was divorced and had his 3 d's half time doing his best when he met his 2ndW, who was divorced but missing her kidnapped daughters. You are telling me he could not marry my sister in law and is doing something immoral b/c he did marry her, and now they have a home and food and safety AWAY from her nutty ex-h terrorist, and that the LOVE IN THEIR HOME is immoral? No, sorry. I don't buy that.

I think GOD INTRODUCED MY BROTHER TO THIS WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE, WHO TRAVELLED THE WORLD ALONE TO GET HER GIRLS BACK from a terrorist camp that called all American women whores....yes, you may have heard of her. [i[b]]She's a hero and not a whore for marrying my brother, which is what YOUR interpretation makes her...[/b]. [/i] The way you describe God and all the inflexible endless rules does NOT convey his love and acceptance. How sad.

PLEASE READ "BLUE LIKE JAZZ" to see the damage done to the world when God's real message is misused like this. HE is a God of healing and love and acceptance.

We're wasting time on this....really....sorry if I made it worse but I HAD to speak up for my sister in law and brother and some perceptions of the Church. And though I cannot speak for Jesus or God, I know that He is a unifying force, not a divisive one.

So think about that. If you are quoting scripture to "be proved right" then you are putting ego ahead of love....again the book "Blue Like Jazz" (Which really is a great book everyone, very provocative) addresses this and speaks to it. There ARE ways to talk about God and emulate and MODEL His word without spouting it off....

No offense but K4, you KNOW you need to work on you and guess what? How many people here, sent to you perhaps by Him, (some at least) have to tell you that maybe GOD wants you to work on YOU NOW? And for now, that's all....
LISTEN...
j-
_________________________
m:51 H:55
M: 30 yrs
S25,D23,D15
H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005
I file Sep 2/06
Piecing 7/07
Retrovaille Weekend 8/08
M Restored 8/08

Be Happy OR be "Right"

FORGIVENESS: Your way out of hell

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#1818744 - 08/13/09 08:19 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: 25yearsmlc]
aliveandkicking Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/09
Posts: 2917
Hey, total hijack here but 25, could you kindly tell me why you completely bailed on my thread just as I started to turn things around? I'd love to glean something from it and really it just confounds me. I have much respect for you and your generous contributions here, just really hoping to get some clarification.

Sorry kevin. smirk
_________________________


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#1818750 - 08/13/09 08:27 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: aliveandkicking]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Not a problem A&K.

Anyone can hijack or post on here any time they want or need to. I am never bothered by it.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1818755 - 08/13/09 08:38 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
25,

Thats the whole thing. People believe what they want to believe. If it isn't emotionally what they like, they choose to believe something that is emotionally what they would like. I don't know the circumstances of the priest that married your brother or sister in law, nor could I begin to say anything about it if a priest did it. I admit I don't understand how he could do that without the M at least being annulled. But I am no expert either.

You having studied canon law and I assume tradional canon law as I don't think there is any other kind, would know more than I would. That is interesting that a priest did that.

The bottom line is I don't agree with what my W is doing morally, but I also know there is nothing I can do about it. So I just pray for restoration.

And yes, I am going to get Blue Like Jazz.

Have you read the book "The Faith"? I currently have that one. It explains quite a bit.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1818757 - 08/13/09 08:40 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
25,

Do you go to a traditional latin mass or a modern day mass?

Just curious.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1818758 - 08/13/09 08:42 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
My guess is your SIL probably fit into the pauline privelage. Just a guess though.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1818768 - 08/13/09 08:57 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Quote:
True, the Church does NOT grant divorces.


I just don't see how the remarriage can be valid if the church does not grant D's. I will admit, I am confused on how a priest got around this.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

Top
#1818770 - 08/13/09 09:00 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Well,

It doesn't matter. This isn't about religion or politics. It is about DBing.

I am going to have to keep it to that. I will keep my faith to myself.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

Top
#1818818 - 08/13/09 11:22 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 10626
Loc: west coast
Originally Posted By: K4D
Well,

It doesn't matter. This isn't about religion or politics. It is about DBing.

I am going to have to keep it to that. I will keep my faith to myself.


Kevin


Ta daaaahhhh!! Sorry I even engaged in it....so pointless....diversionary, etc.
j-
_________________________
m:51 H:55
M: 30 yrs
S25,D23,D15
H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005
I file Sep 2/06
Piecing 7/07
Retrovaille Weekend 8/08
M Restored 8/08

Be Happy OR be "Right"

FORGIVENESS: Your way out of hell

Top
#1818843 - 08/14/09 12:47 AM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
davidswife Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/08
Posts: 819
Loc: Midwest
Originally Posted By: K4D


It would be far easier to say to heck with it all and start dating again. I almost did. Infact at one point, I did go on a date earlier on because I felt like what is the point of standing.


I don't remember you going on a date? When was this?
_________________________
Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15

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