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Coach #1818716 08/13/09 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted By: Coach
Everybody calm down. This has reached the point of being unproductive. Kevin's beliefs are his beliefs, his problems are his problems, his strengths are his strengths and his kids are his kids.
Kevin your fellow DBers here are frustrated with you. Fellow DBers just because we get louder, more passionate and more sarcastic doesn't mean Kevin is going to listen. Let the man figure it out for himself.
Might be time for the LRT for Kev. cool

Cheers
Coach


As usual, right on the money.



MrBond #1818719 08/13/09 07:47 PM
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Quote:
If at the very least, answer this...can you treat your W with compassion? Which means, can you see things through her eyes right now? Imagine if you were her and you saw you doing and hearing all of the things you were saying to her from her point of view. Can you do that?


Yes. I can see things from her point of view. I don't agree spiritually that it is the way to handle things by going off with someone else. But I can see how I have screwed up enough to make her think twice about me which is why I am in such a deep hole that I have to dig myself out of now.

I know she does not see eye to eye with me. I know I have to change my actions completely. Do a complete 180 and then hope and pray for the best. I am trying to do that with her. And other than that stupid drunken state I was in when we argued and of course the other night, I had been doing better at times with her. But now I have to really step it up permanently.

And that post was just one I had read today. I try to read a couple each day from the rejoice ministries site. I have to go there to get any kind of boost of hope at times.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1818722 08/13/09 07:51 PM
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The rejoice ministries site is why I still believe it is possible to have my M restored with time. Before I was told to look at that site, I was really believing there was no hope in the future for reconciliation because of what everyone was saying. But that site told me that God can and does bring M's back from the dead. But it also says I have to change me and continually pray for my W and family and for God to heal and restore us.

So I believe it can be done. But obviously not without work on my part. But with work on my part, I believe it can still be done although it may be years and probably will to have a shot again at God healing us and restoring us.

The site just reinforces that nothing is impossible with God including "dead" M's. That site is a Godsent when you have lost all hope.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1818723 08/13/09 07:52 PM
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LRT = Last Resort Technique (What to do when all else fails)Explained in detail on page 177 in Michele's "Divorce Busting" book.

I had to look this up. I didn't remember what it stood for.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1818725 08/13/09 07:56 PM
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Quote:
LRT = Last Resort Technique (What to do when all else fails)


That's what we, the DB posters, need to do to you. Not you to your wife. Just to make sure you understand.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
K4D #1818727 08/13/09 07:57 PM
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Quote:
I am in such a deep hole that I have to dig myself out of now.


That might be the problem...stop digging...the whole just gets deeper...


Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."



Coach #1818728 08/13/09 07:58 PM
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Understood Coach.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1818729 08/13/09 07:58 PM
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I also get daily emails from the Rejoice Ministries...

They are a Godsend to me on days when I am down...

With that said...

You do know God helps those that helps themselves right...

What are you doing to better yourself?

Answer that question without mentioning what you are doing for yourself to get your W back - What are you truly doing for you?


May All Who Seek To Take My Life
Be Put To Shame And Confusion;
May All Who Desire My Ruin
Be Turned Back In Disgrace.
~Psalm 40:14~
K4D #1818731 08/13/09 08:02 PM
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Journaling:

I'm not sure what I said that was so wrong. I just merely stated my spiritual beliefs and it turned into a huge debate.

I should have exited earlier on and just let it be. What was accomplished by continuing on? Nothing.

The main points are still the same. Detach, work on me, and live life for me and my kids. Let God do his thing.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1818733 08/13/09 08:05 PM
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Quote:
With that said...

You do know God helps those that helps themselves right...

What are you doing to better yourself?

Answer that question without mentioning what you are doing for yourself to get your W back - What are you truly doing for you?


I am going to AA for me. I am trying to make more friends. I am learning how to dance. I am trying to learn more at work. I am trying to learn more from the bible. I am trying to get into better physical shape. I am trying to keep myself more positive when I am alone. I am listening to CoDependent No More for me.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
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