K4D Rising #4

[june72]

Kevin, I have a weird perspective on the whole entire divorce thing. I am totally against it. Hated that my parents divorced, hated being their go-between for conversations, hated that they said negative things about each other to me, hated the custody fights and have to live two different places.
But my GOD! Did love to finally not hear them fighting and screaming at the tops of their lungs every single night as long as I could remember. It was a joy to not see my mother crying hysterically and see my father sitting in the living room with all the lights completely off smoking a cigarette in the dark in furious anger and depression. It was a total joy to not tell my younger sister to comfort our hysterical mom and I would "take dad". B/c dad was the scary one. I would talk to him and say "daddy, I think things are going to be ok" and he would say nothing. Scared the cr@p out of me.
The was one episode of violence that we did witness (dad choking my mom, pressing her against a wall). It was only the one time but can I tell you the eggshells we walked on!!! My sister and I were so very happy their marraige ended.
Again, really truly- I am supper glad they ended. I also wish that could have managed the entire situation better.

I think that some marriages HAVE to end.
I am not giving up on my marriage- but there are certain situations where if would be definitely over for me. Without a doubt.
JMHO


Ironically- about 16 years later- a few months b4 my dad died they became happy friends again- who would have thought it!

[MrBond]

""They see something else that looks good to them and decide their covenant isn't worth standing for anymore.""

Again, this is where you are judgmental. People here have gone through hell and back. They are fighting for their covenant. They never see it worth standing for.

"We live in such a "please me now" world and patience is something that just seems to be lacking so much with this generation. Some stand until it is done, and others give up when they have decided that it is time to end it.

Ultimately, who decides when it is over? Don't we have a covenant? Wasn't it for life? When someone is sick, don't they need a doctor?

Our WAS's are sick right now. Many of us have caused that sickness. I know I have."

Let's face it, it takes two for a R to fail. Not just the LBS. AND it's not the LBS's fault if the WAS decides to have an A. There is NEVER a good reason for that. Either be M or end it so there is no A.

Many of the Newcomers here have to get over the fact that the failings of their R was not strictly their fault. Our WASs tell us the most demeaning things sometimes and our self-esteem is ripped to shreds. This is when they need to stand for themselves first and MAYBE the M later.

Again, I think it's great that you're standing for your M no matter what. But you've got to watch what you say for lack of people getting the idea that you're calling them "weak".

[K4D]

Again, I think it's great that you're standing for your M no matter what. But you've got to watch what you say for lack of people getting the idea that you're calling them "weak".

I understand what you are saying Stuck. But also remember, I included myself in that as well. I know that we all have weak moments.

Ironically- about 16 years later- a few months b4 my dad died they became happy friends again- who would have thought it!

June, I'm glad they became friends again. Imagine if they could have learned to love again and been restored. What a glorius thing that would have been after all they had been through.

I think that separation is definitely needed for some M's for a period of time. I don't disagree with that. I just hate to see any M's end permanently.

Kevin

[Goodfight]

Hi Kevin,

Just wanted to let you know after listening to Bob and Charlyne's CD I decided to write to my H and let him know that I forgive him for leaving me and the children and that he is welcome home if or when he wants too. I haven't let him know that for over 6 months. I was acting like I didn't care, and said hurtful things to him when he would say them to me and it wasn't right.

I let him know that me and the children miss and love him. I wasn't sure if I should do it or not because he has not contacted any of us except for the card he sent our D in 3 months. I sent it out last Monday, and that's when my S tried to take his life. My S didn't know about the letter and you know from my thread how the rest of the week went. H called about insurance for my S when he didn't have to which was on Wednesday when he received the letter but haven't heard a word since.

You are so right because it does take a lot of patience! I'm standing for my M but I'm so lonely and I know the odds are greatly against me since my MIL is greatly involved and I think has my H convinced that divorce is the only answer. Also don't know if I did the right thing or not but something was telling me to hang up our wedding pic again. I took it down 3 months after he left because it depressed me so much but I did hang it back up and talked to the kids last night and told them about God hating divorce and we all need to pray that H gets better and wants to come home.

I just don't know if he is with someone else now or not....don't know if I want to know either.

[K4D]

Lost41,

Which CD did you order?

I understand the whole situation with the MIL being a factor against someone. My MIL hates me and is for the D. My FIL is for the D. My W's best friend is for the D. I have a lot of forces against me. But I know I have a covenant M and I have God on my side and through the Lord, anything is possible when it is in accordance with his will.

May His will be done and not mine.

Kevin

[K4D]

Stuck,

I also understand the exhausted feeling. It emotionally and physically drains you. I feel it to. I just keep pushing myself to stand reguardless and I just want to encourage others if they can.

Kevin

[missmyfriend]

Praying for you and your family, K4D

[Goodfight]

Kevin,

I ordered the one called "Why doesn't my spouse come home?"

Have you ordered anything from there? I was just wondering if any of the other things that they have helped you in your stand.

[K4D]

If you focus on giants, you will fall. But if you focus on God, your Giants will fall.

When David faced Goliath, the references are he focused on God 9 times and Goliath 2 times. He focused on God 4 times as much as he focused on Goliath.

Face your giants like David faced his.

The times that David failed, he did not pray. The times that he succeeded, he prayed.

God may be letting you face this giant so he can show his strength an power and glory.

David ran toward Goliath. When is the last time you ran toward your giant? Typically we run away from our problems. Don't run away anymore. Run toward your giant and take it on.

Say Divorce, you are not having my family. Be persistant. We have to keep trying. We know that in time, that giant will come down.

Face your God, and your giants will fall. But focus on your giants, and you will fall.

From Max Lucado

Kevin

[K4D]

I ordered the one called "Why doesn't my spouse come home?"

Have you ordered anything from there? I was just wondering if any of the other things that they have helped you in your stand.

I haven't ordered any. I have thought about it though. Right now I listen to the daily devotional and also read each daily devotional. Sometimes I listen to stop divorce radio on their website. I also go back through the archives and listen to old messages as well as read. I explore different areas of the website as well.

Kevin