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There are two dogs. She lives in an apartment and won't be able to take the dogs. It's tough to split them up as one of them goes crazy once he is away from the other. The other stuff I really don't care about. There really isn't much value in any of it anyhow. What makes me mad is that she just goes and lists everything that she wants including stuff that she gave me as a gift and I get what ever is leftover. The only reason that I would fight for anything is so that it will gain some respect.


"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
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The best advise I can give is "fake it till you make it." I am in charge of my own happiness. I enjoy every minute of every day. IE- I wake up in the morning. I take two really deep breaths and enjoy the feeling of breathing. I notice how nice the sheets feel. If I don't like the feeling, I go buy sheets that feel and look good to me! Nice artwork in my bedroom to enjoy. The rituals I have in place bring me happiness. Showering in the morning is great. I enjoy the hot water running over my body. I have multiple shampoo's that smell nice to me! Taking time to enjoy all the small things in my life is an amazing shift from dwelling on the things that are lacking......I enjoy interacting with everyone I encounter. I even enjoy MsR2C even though she does not speak to me. I understand she is in pain. I don't take it personally. It has to take a lot of unhappiness to break a family in half. I hope she finds her happiness.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Originally Posted By: GoBison
There are two dogs. She lives in an apartment and won't be able to take the dogs.
What about YOU? Do you want them? Are they worth a fight? Give them to her if you don't want them. State that you want them if you do.

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It's tough to split them up as one of them goes crazy once he is away from the other.
Let her have the one that goes crazy then...Keep the well behaved one LOL

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The other stuff I really don't care about. There really isn't much value in any of it anyhow.


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What makes me mad
It is OK to me angry. Channel the anger into productive activity.

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is that she just goes and lists everything that she wants including stuff that she gave me as a gift and I get what ever is leftover.
Ask for what YOU want. I sorted our things into three groups. I use/like it much more frequently than her - IE mine. She uses/likes it much more frequently than me - IE hers. Things we both use about the same. - ours.

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The only reason that I would fight for anything is so that it will gain some respect.
I just manned up and said "I want you to be happy. If this is what you want, I will not stand in your way."


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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GoBison Offline OP
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Thanks R2C. I will have to think about the stuff. I really don't care all that much.

In as little as two weeks it could be all over. As long as everything is agreed upon it could be over in that short of time. 10 years no real talk about the M or anything just end it. So much for our families, so much about our future just done. Wow the legal system is really great for things that matter.

I have been in pretty much no contact mode the last two months that she has been off in her fantasy land. I really want to contact her now and try and reason with her. Not sure if it would make a difference but what do I really have to lose.


"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
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Spoke with lawyer today and he said that it will ne a pretty easy case. We can probably be done with it all two weeks after I respond. I have until oct 21 to respond. So I need to find a way for W to file for extension drop the case or go to retro. Chances are getting pretty slim at this point. She doesn't even respond to business type stuff anymore. I have a db coaching session in an hour so I will see how that goes.


"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
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Let us know how the session went.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
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He says it the bottom of the ninth and not much time left. Told me to invite her to take the dogs to the dog park, discuss separation of things and give her what she wants as long as it's nothing too important. I texted her and said I was going to thedig park tonight if she wanted to go. No response.


"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
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I agree with everything he said, except that there is not much time left. I believe you have plenty of time (IE patience). What do you think?

I feel that "WE" need to "Set our spouses free" and work on our own issues. Our spouses "held up a mirror" and let us know what we need to change.

Text her again- "I would like to discuss how we divide our things. I would like to do this tonight while I walk the dogs. If that does not work for you, when would be a good time for you?"

This shows you are supporting her decision without trying to control her. You will be able to listen and validate her during the discussion. You will not have to agree to anything tonight, but have the opportunity to validate her.




"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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GoBison Offline OP
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She did reply back on taking the dogs to the park just saying that she hasto work tonight. So up for any other opinions. May ask her later in the week to talk about splitting things up. I am also going to be out of town in 3 weeks for a week I may ask her to watch the dogs. When get back to town the d should be final.


"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
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I text W this morning and let her know that I will be meeting again with L and will get back with a response and that there should not be any major changes so we could have it all wrapped up by the end of October. Also told her to let me know when would be a good time to meet and get her the things that she wants. I also told her that I would meet with her brother to give him her boat.

I got a text back "k".


"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
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