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#1801708 - 07/15/09 03:38 PM NC with wife for one week
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
Previous Thread


Above is my previous thread which was in We're Separated but I decided to post over here as there is a lot more activity.

One week ago my wife moved into her own apartment. Which I helped her move into. Since that time I sent her a short text on Sunday saying happy anniversary as it was our 6th anniversary. Other than that I have not made any attempt to contact her and she has not made any attempt to contact me.

Do I continue to go with no contact until she tries to contact me? If she does? Or do try to make some contact with her and if so how long do I wait? We do not have any kids so that limits the amount of contact that we could have right now.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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#1801734 - 07/15/09 03:57 PM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: GoBison]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
Hi GB
What do you know about the EA? How much do you know about the OM?
It does sound very sudden.
What does she do for a living?
How about you?
Where did dyou meet? How long did you date before you got married?
What's going on with her family that it's impacting your relationship?
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

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#1801735 - 07/15/09 03:57 PM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: GoBison]
Ready2Change Offline
Member

Registered: 03/04/08
Posts: 3962
Loc: Colorado
Originally Posted By: GoBison
Do I continue to go with no contact until she tries to contact me?
YES

Quote:
We do not have any kids so that limits the amount of contact that we could have right now.
Keep working on YOU. It is very important to get to HAPPY WITHOUT HER. People are attracted to happy people. This is your best method of getting her back.....It is counter intuitive, but has worked for many on here.
_________________________
"What is best for my kids is best for me"

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#1801745 - 07/15/09 04:13 PM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: Stronger]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
All I know about the OM is that it is someone that she works with. When I asked her about it she said all they were was friends and that he has a GF for three years. As far as I can tell it has only been going on for 2 months. Right when things started to go bad. We both have good jobs and make quite a bit of money however she is in the medical field and makes almost twice what I do. We met in college and have been together for 10 years. She was 18 and I was 21. We dated for four years.

When she was in High School her dad was an alcoholic. He was always strict with the kids and jealous with his W. He recently started drinking again and two weeks before she started to get weird on me her mom called her and was complaining about her dad. Her mom had gone away for a convention and her dad was drunk trying to call her and couldn't get a hold of her. He left voicemails for her and called the other kids and said that their mom was out doing some guys. Her mom called and complained to her about the whole thing and told her "I know that you would never put up with such a thing". Well lo and behold a couple of weeks later she starts to act weird. I try to ask her what is wrong and she won't say anything for awhile and then says that I am being jealous of her.

Recently I told her that she really needs to talk to her dad about the stuff that is going on with her mom. She said that it had nothing to do with us and that their problem was theirs and this was all about us and how jealous I am. I only mentioned it once and left it at that.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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#1801761 - 07/15/09 04:20 PM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: GoBison]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
Ok.
Good info.
I think you need to find out some more about OM. I think he's a bigger deal than you realize. Don't snoop, but try to find out what you can from her.
Have you asked about MC?
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

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#1801768 - 07/15/09 04:24 PM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: Stronger]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
Yeah I asked about MC and Retrauville and she would not consider either. I went to IC a couple of times. OM may be a big deal right now but what can I actually do about it. She does not live at home and she will do whatever shes wants. If I push anything about OM on her right now it will just push her to him.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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#1801921 - 07/15/09 07:00 PM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: GoBison]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
Unfortunately, this is true.
One of the things Michelle says is that you have to find out what OM is doing for her that you are not. So you are faced with a difficulty here.
BUT he may not be anything. They may just vent to each other, but it's weird he was ok with out of work contact when she was obviously married.
There are two schools of thought and you have to decide what is best for you.....keep up with the no contact or contact on occasion to keep you in her head.....your call.
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

Top
#1801955 - 07/15/09 08:16 PM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: Stronger]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
Thanks for the reply adb. I plan to keep the no contact until at least next week. She is very stubborn and I am sure that she will not contact me. Maybe this will give her a little time to cool down and won't be blaming me for everything that is wrong in her life. She works with a lot of people that are younger than her and they like to go out and drink a lot. While she is not old at 28 everyone else is 23-25 so they do go out a lot more. She also moved to the same apartment floor as one of her co-workers. She also likes to drink a lot and helped her to decide to move out. She had previously broken off her engagement.

I have not been in contact with her folks since this all happened and I do not plan to contact them about us. I did send her mom a text that told them they were still welcome at my brothers wedding next month even though W will not go. Not sure if it was a DB thing to do but wanted to make sure that knew they are still welcome. It will be a large wedding 500+ and no one in my family knows outside of my immediate family so they won't be uncomfortable.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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#1802186 - 07/16/09 09:44 AM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: GoBison]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
I think a good rule is to be respectful but don't talk about the problems in the marriage. If they bring it up just say the most simple thing you can think of....."We'll figure it out" is pretty simple and vague.

Stubborn....lots of the WAS are exactly that.....
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

Top
#1802188 - 07/16/09 09:48 AM Re: NC with wife for one week [Re: GoBison]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
Alright had another night of no contact with W. Nights aren't too bad but the mornings are a little bit rougher. I did get a reply back from MIL on the wedding. It wasn't a very nice text and they will not be coming. That was kind of a downer as I have always had a good relationship with them and never a harsh word. Do not know what W has told them but I am sure that she played it up real good and fed right into what her Mom is going through. Oh well it does not change my plan to work on my M. Continue on with NC and try and GAL. After the text last night and reading through some other threads I may want to extend the NC time out for more than the rest of the week.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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