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As for my W, she hasn't accepted any personal accountability for the problems in our MR. The same issues she had in our MR will undoubtedly carry over into any future R she has as will all of her shortcomings.
Hey BJ, how is it going. I am moving to my Surviving the big D thread now, but wanted to post back on yours.
I hear you on the above, but there's nothing we can do about it.
Often I thought of my STBXW as being much more mature in relationship that I was, but then think back to this mess and all the "You shouldn't have to work on a relationship" and comments like that, that make me thing otherwise.
What I have been working on, is when I start to think like this, to then realize that I need to refocus on me now, and what I am doing, and my future.
Who knows what will happen to our STBX's, but I know I want to be a better person for myself, and that's my goal.
I need to make many more goals for myself and plans, without STBXW on my mind, and only myself and d8.
That's been tougher to do than I would have thought..
I hope everyone has been having a wonderful Christmas holiday despite the circumstances we find ourselves in. I want you to know you are all in my prayers, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of our online community here. I apologize for not posting for a few weeks now but I have been very busy at work not to mention dealing with my D and problems my W has been having with S10. I'll have to fill you guys in later on more of the details, but in short my S10 is having serious emotional problems with my W's ongoing love affair with OM, the details of which he is fully aware of from snooping on my W's I-Phone. My son subsequently broke my W's I-phone in the midst of a physical altercation with my W which resulted in my W leaving S10 behind with me while she, S11, D4 and S11's friend- her "replacement son"- left for a vacation in her home state for this coming week. Unfortunately, my plan for this weekend and coming week- while off work and all alone by myself- was to repaint the entire inside of my house and replace the interior doors. Now in between projects I'm trying to spend some quality time with S10 and hopefully help him with his issues. I have a lot going on at the moment, but I will try to check in. Thank you again for your support and concern, hopefully 2010 will be a better year for all of us.
M: 41 W: 39 S: 11 S: 10 D: 4 1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09 EA began: 2/14/09 EA discovered: 3/1/09 I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself _______________________________
I am going to have to get a spotlight with a big bold BJ symbol on it.
BJ, where are ya man!
I am thinking about you, and your family, and hoping things are as good as they can be for you and your family at this time. When you drop in, and have a minute, know that I am anxiously looking for an update from you my friend!