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#1812684 - 08/03/09 06:24 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: Sanderika]
mdoodles Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 1011
Loc: new york
im doing ok. i think he left feeling worse having said what he did, just based on the way he looked when he came back in the house. i really think if he hated me so much, he wouldnt have come back in the house, making an excuse to look in the mirror as if he needed something to do.

and the shoes by the door? if i were him i would take them already.

i know he doesnt hate me, i think its funny how angry he is, when he knows the only one to be angry at is himself.
_________________________
me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09

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#1812709 - 08/03/09 08:07 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
mdoodles Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 1011
Loc: new york
so this is funny - h called, i put son on the phone. of course h asks to talk to me....in his nice voice (not sure what happened to the "i hate you" voice) - hi, i heard u got a restricted call yesterday. just wanted u to know it was no one from out here (note he cant refer to psycho ow any other way than "someone out here")...

i had told his mother yesterday when i got the call. obviously she told him and obviously he panicked and got back to psycho and questioned her on it. either way she said it wasnt her and either way he doesnt believe her so he calls to smooth it over...

point of my story- ive decided he fears me! he fears what my next course of action would be.

i think its funny. and u know what? its good.

perhaps he may learn to respect me in this process.
_________________________
me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09

Top
#1812719 - 08/03/09 08:22 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
lost-n-Iowa Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/09
Posts: 182
Loc: Iowa
Just got back and had to read up on your stich. I seen some good things and some progress.

Perhaps he is seeing you as the confident woman you really are!! You are not engaging in the fights, you are not being nasty like he is, you are not letting his childish tantrums get to you. He is seeing this finally. Keep it up!!

I have found out myself that the MIL will always protect the son. It has happened to me too. Then when everything is fine between H and I, she is my BFF again. I am always wary of her.

It does sound like he may be worried about what you might do next. Don't ever play all your cards with him. Keep what your choices are or what you are planning on doing to yourself until its time to let him know.

I think it's funny that he asked you for money. What did he spend his money on? Hmmmmmmm, not his son!! He spent his money on a car. This man's priorities are all out of whack.
_________________________
Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09

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#1812743 - 08/03/09 09:39 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
Originally Posted By: mdoodles
im doing ok. i think he left feeling worse having said what he did, just based on the way he looked when he came back in the house. i really think if he hated me so much, he wouldnt have come back in the house, making an excuse to look in the mirror as if he needed something to do.

and the shoes by the door? if i were him i would take them already.

i know he doesnt hate me, i think its funny how angry he is, when he knows the only one to be angry at is himself.


AGREED.
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1812744 - 08/03/09 09:40 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
Originally Posted By: mdoodles
so this is funny - h called, i put son on the phone. of course h asks to talk to me....in his nice voice (not sure what happened to the "i hate you" voice) - hi, i heard u got a restricted call yesterday. just wanted u to know it was no one from out here (note he cant refer to psycho ow any other way than "someone out here")...

i had told his mother yesterday when i got the call. obviously she told him and obviously he panicked and got back to psycho and questioned her on it. either way she said it wasnt her and either way he doesnt believe her so he calls to smooth it over...

point of my story- ive decided he fears me! he fears what my next course of action would be.

i think its funny. and u know what? its good.

perhaps he may learn to respect me in this process.


Doodles, I keep TELLING you this!! grin
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1812746 - 08/03/09 09:42 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: lost-n-Iowa]
bluerain Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/08
Posts: 1501
Loc: Alaska
doodles, my MIL was a major enabler. She even kept H's A secret from his dad and his brother. I think that its great that he was asking you for money. Can you present him with the receipts from your bill paying? Did you document that he called you a name in front of your son? My car payment is 208, and thats on a pretty nice car, he doesnt need to be wasting all of his money on a stupid car. Or demanding $ from you when he is floundering in the little dream world that he has made for himself.

Also, I think that everyone else is right, you can send your S out of the room when he wants to "talk". If your H wont respect your wishes, you cant make him, but you can control what your S sees and hears when he is with you.
_________________________
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...

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#1812777 - 08/03/09 10:59 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: bluerain]
bluerain Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/08
Posts: 1501
Loc: Alaska
You know what doodles, I packed H's crap. Just to get it out of my house. I didnt want him in the house anyway, so it was my choice, I got sick of seeing him everywhere I looked, and he was taking his sweet time to do it. It was a lot of work, but definately worth it.

Though, I think that once you have your apt, it might be better to NOT pack his things!
_________________________
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...

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#1812836 - 08/04/09 06:49 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: bluerain]
mdoodles Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 1011
Loc: new york
my plan is to pack and move and then let him in to the house for whatever i dont take...

i did not sleep well at all last night, not even sure why because i am actually ok after yesterday.

his attitude did not affect me much, im more amused by his rantings than anything else...

hoping to speak to my attorney today, it is really important to get an emergency motion in supreme court to freeze our 401k. i am positive h will otherwise take it as soon as he can and not give me a penny.
_________________________
me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09

Top
#1812843 - 08/04/09 07:29 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
Sanderika Offline
Member

Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 761
Good Morning,

It isn't so hard to understand why you didn't sleep well, you are under a great deal of stress. Even if you are at peace with
yesterday's events it was still a very stressful day - start to
finish. You might have been dog tired, however your inner mind is constantly churning.

Very interesting that he called all nicey nice and tried to reassure you OW was not the restricted caller. Hmmmmmm

When is he going to realize she is a self-serving liar? OH, I am not accusing her of placing that call, no, not me..........
OK, I am.....

I agree with You and Puppy on this one, he does fear you finally and it's a very very good thing. Mdoodles, you are now driving the car and it will be interesting to see his next move and yours.

Remember you can still DB and be tough with him.

Got to head to work, will check in later today.....

Have a good one....

Sanderika
_________________________
ME48/H48MLC
T 33y
M 28y
S16
OW 8/7/05
Bomb 8/16/05
Sep 9/05
H f'd D 10/3/08
D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09
D dismissed 2/5/10
H served me D papers again 9/4/10
D dismissed 9/26/11

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#1812863 - 08/04/09 08:45 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: Sanderika]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
mdoodles....I know you won't do it and I understand, I won't do it either, but I would love to see his face if you filed he and was served. You've had enough hell for one life time and the next four or five.
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

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