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Loc: North Carolina
xW dropped the boys off a couple of hours early. Caught me a bit off-guard, as I had assumed I was going down there to pick them up. I had given her until 9 PM for the changeover, but she suddenly seems to have changed her mind. But I'm not complaining since I got to spend more time with my S's before bedtime. We even had time to watch The Polar Express on DVD, a little tradition of ours now, before putting them to bed.
I sit here now taking a breather and content that my family is safe at home. And I want to take a moment to thank everyone here in the DB forums. I've been blessed to discover a lot of good friends just in these last two (and a half) years since the S, not the least of which our my DB forum compatriots.
So, it is with heartfelt appreciation (even for the 2x4's) that I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and may God bless us all.
Loc: North Carolina
Thought I'd relate something that struck me last evening. I was watching a show with the boys after a very nice dinner. Something one of the characters was saying about loving someone forever brought back my reaction to what xW had said just the other day.
I have already mentioned that xW had sent a response to my email letting her know my official disproval of her violation of our legal agreement. What I hadn't elaborated on is that not only did she deny and belittle my objection, she took the opportunity to tell me that I need to get used to the fact that OM would be in their lives "forever". (her exact word).
Well, that gave me a bit of cynical chuckle at the time. But I forgot about it until last evening while watching that show with my S's. And suddenly I recalled that email and started chuckling to myself -- I just couldn't help it.
S8 and S5 stopped and looked at me and got very curious why I was having this reaction. S8 asked me what it was that was so funny. I had to tell him it was nothing and never mind. He started to insist I spill the beans but fortunately the show we were watching got his attention again, and they both forgot about it. I couldn't help but continue to smile a bit longer.
Forever. She's used that phrase before, but if I have learned anything, there is no such word or concept for xW.
Loc: North Carolina
I want to start a new thread with the new year.
Any ideas about a title for a new thread? Anyone? I've got a couple of ideas, but was wondering where to go with this.
I had the boys all week long. Lots of Lego building. Celebrated birthday of S8 becoming S9. Had a lot of good one-on-one time with my kids. But then all good things... must come to an end.
xW showed up an hour early to pick up the kids for the custody exchange. I thought I was taking them down to her instead. I guess I was wrong. Again, wasn't expecting that. She seems to delight in taking control of the situation. (Too bad she couldn't place so much initiative in our MR.)
She managed to really p'ss me off by bringing a couple huge boxes so as to be able to cart away all the gifts I had given the boys for Christmas and birthdays. Always does this. And yes, I (and Santa) gave these toys to my S's, so they are pretty much theirs to do with as they want, but somehow she always manages to keep them from ever returning in one piece. If I object, then she starts to portray me as some selfish monster, right in front of them. This has become such a sore spot with me that I feel resentful -- I feel discouraged from ever giving my S's toys or clothing in the first place, as they continually leave here to never return (or at the very least not in one piece or entirety.)
Here it is -- the start of a new year. And yet she is already trying to get under my skin.
It still hurts very much, but I'm letting it all go. It's not worth it.
Oh, xW also brought back something that technically belonged to me (or at least I had at least some claim to) when we lived in our house. It was the huge subwoofer to our theater system. I looked at it and at her and asked her why she was suddenly giving this back to me -- it's been over two years and I have since had to buy my own replacement. She gave me this look as if I was being an idiot and asked me was she supposed to just throw it away then, since I no longer need it.
In the end I took this one stray component back from xW, all the while shaking my head in utter disbelief, wondering why she thought now to bring this odd item back to me. There are a whole slew of other things that were in her possession that I never got back, including some very practical and useful items that she denied me, most explicitly. I figure this speaker was a token offer of some some garbage item in appeasement to me -- in exchange for her convincing the boys to take all of their new toys I gave them back to her place. I don't know.
I mentioned this just to shed some light on xW's oddities and disjointed thought patterns.
I haven't spoken with my brother in a while now. It's been close to a month now. But I know he's dealing with the dissolution of his own M. I could have bet on it, but I found out that his W, my SIL, is seeing another guy now. I could have laid bets that was what her motives were/are really all about. Early on, right before their Sep and into the early part of that, she kept trying to convince me that her chief reason for splitting from my brother was because of their increasing religious differences (my brother, much as I love him, has become agnostic and anti-religious.) But while I humored her, I wasn't buying -- I have heard such platitudes before from folks wanting to find any sort of justification, however spurious, for ending their M's.
Anyway, my brother's W has now quietly unfriended me in FB -- I figure it must have taken place some time this week, as that was when I heard she started coming out publicly talking about her relationship with this other man. At the same time I guess she's decided that she's going to cut me and the rest of her IL's, my family, out of her life after all -- despite all the many many assurances otherwise that she gave us when she and my brother first started their Sep. In the end, she's just like all the other self-serving wayward spouses.
It sucks so bad to have yet another WAW in our family. Such betrayal and deceit. How can people live with themselves like that?
I really feel bad for my brother. But then he is not fighting this whatsoever. I really hate to say it but he is being an utter fool. He is losing not only his wife, but he is most certainly risking the respect of his children, especially by trying all too hard to keep the peace. He's so ultra-typical the "middle child", never wanting to rock the boat -- would rather flee than fight for what is right.
I guess that's where he and I are so different. While I am far from a violent person, I will take a stand on things I know to be right against things I know to be wrong. As such, I feel I am am more confident I would retain any measure of love and respect from my kids more successfully than my poor brother with his non-confrontational approach. What I can't figure out is how he got to be such a wimp. It's just not like the scrappy little kid I grew up with. M'ed life has certainly tamed him.
Well, here I am ranting again. Sheesh.
I hate starting the new year off this way. I really hope things start turning out for the better, as I am quite tired of all this drama. But when I don't hear from or deal with xW or anyone like her, I find I can honestly enjoy my time with my S's.