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cat03 #1753592 04/18/09 03:49 AM
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I also chose not the use the A card, heavens knows I had all sorts of proof, but I wasnt' about to start a nasty battle and make the Ls bill-happy. We are better off this way NoC, for there is a Judge who will judge them soon enough, and he knows it all.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
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Quote:
Did she seem uncomfortable??? I know you didn't


The point is will she recognise you again with your trousers on!?

naej #1754006 04/19/09 01:41 PM
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Quote:
Or is it I'm-bare-assed-ment?


LOL!!!!!! \:\) \:\)

LL44 #1755245 04/21/09 05:07 PM
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cough, cough


Seriously, how is everything??Do you have the boys this wkend??


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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LOL.

No, I do have the boys until Friday. This is the week S8 tracks back into school, starting the last term before he finishes out the second grade. I will be childless again.

Even worse is that her L talked to my L today -- xW is now definitely filing a complaint against me seeking temporary and permanent legal and physical custody of our S's.

Talk about kick a man when he's down. First the D, now this -- but it's no real surprise, of course. It's just par.

I don't really get her anymore. She can act so smarmy around people sometimes, but you can never be sure anymore if she's not just readying a knife to stick into your back. I guess the person she was before, earlier in our R when she seemed so kind, compassionate and patient towards me and everyone else, never really existed. Now she's just a hollow mask.

Oh, well. I have to just keep reminding myself that I need to only take ownership of those things I can affect change upon, not sweat all these many things I cannot change. As per the Serenity Prayer, I will do what I can. And if she manages to accomplish her worst, so be it -- she will just damage herself as much as anyone else.

But unfortunately some of that collateral damage will be made against our S's, and that will be on her soul. And no, that doesn't really make it any easier for me to realize that she will one day meet her maker and have to answer for these transgressions. She was at least at some point my W, and she is still the mother of my S's, and as such I really do not relish the thought of her losing her soul and spending the rest of eternity in damnation. But that's the road she's now on, and she would drag us all down with her if she could.

So I will continue to pray for her. And I will continue to ask Christ to show me how I can continue to forgive her, even in the face of the extreme torture she wants to inflict on all of us. Because it is not going to be easy to forgive her, and I am not going to want to do so. In fact, I am struggling with this constantly. But I must forgive her. I must.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
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NC,

Im so sorry. She is wicked. That is all I can say. Just one more thing to twist the screw. I don't know how someone can be so uncaring,and just plain mean. As much as I have encountered similar things with My H, I couldn't prevent him from seeing the boys, its not good for them and would hurt them in the process.

yes she is the mother of the boys, but REALLY some people should just not be parents, and if you are going to put your own flesh and blood through crap like this you don't deserve to have them.
I apologize if that statement bothers you, but as a mother, my boys are the MOST important thing, I would do anything to protect them from any emotional harm, especially if I have any control over it.

This is her quest, its got nothing to do with anything but her.

I hope your L is able to fight this to the core, its not right!!!

Ok my rant is over.. email me if you feel like it, god knows you've helped me, let me return the favor \:\)

((((((((((hugs))))))))


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,805
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God will bless you, you and I know that, because nothing like forgiving those who wrong us is better to open up the door to God's blessings. Eventually you will, it took me so long to forgive x, I think I've mostly have now, thanks to God.
Fat chance she'll get to keep the kids full time, you are a good father and there is no history of abuse, they have got to give you joint custody and a decent schedule, you are in my prayers))))

Were you able to take kids to a C? I'm so so glad I take kids every 2 wks, d6's defiance and hyperactivity are getting pretty bad -- the C told me that if I don't fix that now I will have a defiant 10-year-old in the future who will be very hard to deal with. So whatever you can do for your kids do it *now* before they are set on their ways and it's too late to do/say anything


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
cat03 #1757878 04/26/09 10:33 PM
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Irish, I really appreciate your kindness. I really do.

Cat, my efforts to get S8 and S4 into counseling keeps being shot down by xW. Whenever I try to schedule somethign for either of them she says they have other more important plans. She also claims that the only thing needed is for special Autism counseling for S8 -- not Asperger's or HFA, but full Autism. I don't get her -- is she trying to inflate S8's special needs so as to pump up the child support payment?

I have to vent about something:

I am concerned that xW is taking our sons kayaking (with the OM) at an age she would tell me is far too young had I been the one trying to introduce them to this sport. I am certain she knows this particularly galls me because I, not her, have a lifelong enthusiasm for paddle sports. In fact, I was the one who first introduced her to it when we were dating. I've been canoeing and kayaking since I was about eleven years old.

I agreed with her there is a safety concern with young children and paddle sports. And I had planned to start them into the sport when they were older. Now she's jumped the gun on me, and that does make me quite jealous, I must admit. Again, I feel she has stolen from me something near and dear to my heart. It would be like Eddie Van Halen watching Valerie Bertinelli taking their kid to a local run-of-the-mill music shop to learn how to play the guitar.

But the hypocrisy of xW taking up activities with our S's she has always said were beyond their ages ("too dangerous", she'd say)... that takes nerve.




Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,866
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nc,

When will it end with her?? It seems she just wants to "one up" you. I don't get it.

Yes I agree, they are young to be doing this sort of thing, BUT if it were you taking them I think it would be different because you are experienced in the sport. I would be very upset with this whole thing right now.

I know how much this must bother you. could you remind her how dangerous she thought it was? or would that start a fight, although anything you say at this point she twists around.


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,805
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there will be many others "first" you can be part of. For the time being you can talk to your boys about it and share your experiences, so they know how cool their dad is ;\)
Her behavior is truly pathetic, pity her, a normal woman wouldn't be doing that.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
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