A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out. Go to the new Divorce Busting® Store where you can sign up for Divorce Busting® Coaching and purchase Michele's Audios, Videos and eBooks that you can immediately download. Start taking the steps that will help you get your marriage back on track right away.
Page 67 of 75 < 1 2 ... 65 66 67 68 69 ... 74 75 >
Topic Options
#1881392 - 11/25/09 04:57 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Uggh,

This is such bullarchy.

XW is having the kids call literally almost every 15 minutes, sounding all sob and drab, wanting to know what time I'm picking them up, and if not, "mom has no way to get us there". B/S, have your darling 'finace' drive you in my car you gave him. What's the problem?

I feel really bad because I want to call him back, but she is using them in a absolute no-no way.

And I'd love to say the heck with it and pick them up along the way home, but I REALLY feel it is time XW owns up to her choices in life and a legal document she signed herself into contract with. I've already looked it up, and if I don't see those kids tomorrow, she is in contempt of court. Granted she'll say "I can't drive, I don't have a license" Of which I'd hope the judge will be of stance enough to ask "well, why did you sign agreement obligating to transport you children for visitations?".

What to do, what to do?



Edited by dday101798 (11/25/09 04:59 PM)
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1881402 - 11/25/09 05:03 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
Gnosis Offline
Member

Registered: 08/01/09
Posts: 1779
Hold the line. You've set the boundary. There are consequences for both parties. Accept you share and let her live up to hers.
_________________________
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married
4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT

Top
#1881424 - 11/25/09 05:28 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: Gnosis]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: Gnosis
Hold the line. You've set the boundary. There are consequences for both parties. Accept you share and let her live up to hers.


Very well put, point taken, and yes, boundry is thus enforced.

Finally got a free moment and called S11 back. I don't know how many times I re-stated, this is not a conversation for you and I to be having, it is between mom and I. So, in a way, I had to set a boundry on my own kid, but enough is enough. He understood the end result and accepted and knew that I'm sorry we can't be together tonight, and I WILL see them tomorrow.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1881712 - 11/25/09 11:23 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
Why can't she get her license?
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

Top
#1881935 - 11/26/09 02:18 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
NoCodeBlues Offline
Member

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 2580
Loc: North Carolina
Happy Thanksgiving, Dylan.
_________________________
Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.

Top
#1883402 - 11/30/09 02:18 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: NoCodeBlues]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: NoCodeBlues
Happy Thanksgiving, Dylan.


Thank you brother NCB, hope yours was well
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1883418 - 11/30/09 02:39 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Ladies and Gentlemen, where do I start?

First of all, I'd love to say, by closing this thread down and moving to "Piecing", yep, it's that good.

I just spent the entire afternoon with my boys and XW, and it was wonderful. Thanksgiving in it'self, well, the begining. The emotions started pouring in from XW's front, and well, they ARE real. She wanted to come to dinner and I thought that not right at the time, plus my family is not ready for that.

XW called me the night before from "our" house. "missed me" and all that jazz. Long story short, we were both skiddish about the whole ordeal. I had a up and down time, emotional half the time.

I had to drop the boys off at "our house" the next day, that was brutal. got over it.

Yesterday, I was supposed to go out on a date, but was tired from moving stuff around in preperation for my cousin's kid moving back here, and emotionally drained from XW's comments the day prior. I extended the offer to go out, her and I for a sit down, she declined sighting stuff on her end.

Today, i got a string of messages from her wanting to talk. I finally did, and it went VERY well. We are both of thinking that this (D) was NOT the answer. grin And long story short, I miss her, she misses me, I extended the offer to dinner yet again, and SHE ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!

We went to dinner, for the first time as a group in 14 months. smile I spent quite a bit of doe, but every chance we had with the kids off playing games or something, XW and I talked. I got the chance to read her, hard, right into her eyes, and she knew it, she felt it and returned it. IT'S STILL THERE! I even got the chance to hold her hand over the table, when she got fogged and pull her out! We then took the boys for ice cream and the I dropped them off.

At that point she even extended the offer to come in. Being her father and I have some SERIOUS issues and the fact that OM lived there for so long, I declined. But we did have a beer in the back yard and made small talk.

At the end of it all, we hugged, for the first time in almost year, and it felt so good. I directly went for the back of her hair (as always) and she was fine with it (that and she had 3 inch heal on that made her tower over me frown ) I think that really confused the kids, but all is well, extrememly well on this front.

What do I do now? I don't want to be pushy. She went into today knowing by my own admission, I am stil emotionally attached, and she confirmed, she is too. And well, I saw it, you all know the look from your other that DOES NOT lie.


Heh, we even played this crossword video game at the bar where we ate. As a group. We scored 6th highest on the record, signed "the wrights".

I'll give it a few more inter actions before moving my story, but it all looks REALLY good from here. I texted XW (btw, she says she's never referred to me as anything other than her H laugh ), that the boys seemed to ahve a good time and I did too. She replied she did as well. blush
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1883429 - 11/30/09 03:07 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
Gnosis Offline
Member

Registered: 08/01/09
Posts: 1779
Dylan, I've been lurking on your thread for a long time... never said a word before... all I can say is the following:

BE VERY CAREFUL

Please.

Oops... just realized I have posted to you before... my bad.


Edited by Gnosis (11/30/09 03:08 AM)
_________________________
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married
4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT

Top
#1883444 - 11/30/09 03:36 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: Gnosis]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: Gnosis
Dylan, I've been lurking on your thread for a long time... never said a word before... all I can say is the following:

BE VERY CAREFUL

Please.


Point taken.

I guess I should ask, how many of us have had the opportuinty to stare your X, STBX, WAS, whatever, in the eye and know that they know where their heart belongs?
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1883466 - 11/30/09 03:55 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9683
Loc: GA
I had the opportunity last about a week and half ago. Seeing the pain in his eyes and knowing that he has regrets was interesting, but it was by no means an opening of a barred door. Actually, it was unnerving.

I hope you are able to step back from this and look with eyes that are not clouded over with love. You need a clear head to even attempt R.

Cautious and hopeful.....
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
Page 67 of 75 < 1 2 ... 65 66 67 68 69 ... 74 75 >


Moderator:  Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004