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Isn't that was milk crates and cable spools are for? smile


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Originally Posted By: mishka422
Isn't that was milk crates and cable spools are for? smile


That and they a make one heck of a interesting soap box race car after downing a few.


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
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Ok, I asked on Friday and will ask again..........

WHO is this person? crazy

When I picked up the boys, XW of course did not have copies of S12's adoption papers as requested, big surprise there, but offered a deep hearted apology and will find them and make a copy ASAP.

Anyway, as I was picking up the boys she of course was the first one out of the house all happy go lucky. I had left work in a hurry and not taken off my ID badge I wear around my neck and S12 being his curious self was looking at it and made some comment that it didn't look like me, well it does look like me 3 years and almost 50 more pounds ago.

Anyway, XW went to take a look by grabbing the strap rather high, causing me to practically be breathing down her shirt? What in the world was that? crazy I was very uncomfortable with that.

Then the shocker, all the sudden, SHE is the one who wants to start doing 'family things'! It was started mainly when I made mention that I'm making plans for next July to take my vacation time with them around the time the NASCAR race rolls into town and finally go with them. But, go figure, the tickets are going on sale next month instead of in February as normal, so now that's probably going to be off. Then, S11 just blurts out, "oh yeah, Dad, if you get wrestling tickets, Mom says she'll go!".

My jaw just dropped, I look at ehr like, 'really', and she's just gleaming with this 'hell yeah' look and says somthing to the effect of wanting to do things now. What is with THIS change of heart all the sudden?

I was talking with my Gram yesterday on the phone and I get this weird feeling she's been in contact with XW recently, not that I care, but some wierd things transpired in the conversation. Mainly, I think she's spot on that OM's "fire" has blown out and XW is starting to grow tired of him and is starting to hear the voice in her own head that's been telling her what she's done was wrong and it's getting louder and louder. My Gram di dfor one of the first time ask me point blank if I'd "take her back". I said "no, there's nothing to 'take back", which I mean as IF anything were to ever transpire it would be all new in a sense. My Gram did also ask really weird questions about ex-FIL and BIL's and how that all work out, of which I can only say, I don't know.

This is all just so weird. Even the boys were acting weird and saying weird things that I jsut couldn't put my finger on. S11 again tho, did say that XW still plans to move 90 miles away and they don't want to go. Well, what I can I say, that's what the court is for, and this time you will have to speak up if you don't want to go.

But, of course, when I dropped them off last night, XW was her usual cold self again, kinda crabby and just seemed to be looking to start something. Nothing really did aside from her asking why I hadn't replied to a text she sent when I was driving wanting to know if she had to give them baths or do laundry. I simply said, "I was doing 50 miles an hour driving, you know I don't use my phone when I'm on the road" and she got defensive.

I don't know, just simply don't know what is going through that mind of hers. I did notice a large piece of trim dangerously hanging off "her" car and said something to the effect that it needs to be strapped up or just removed all together and seh made this odd gesture that she had no-one to take care of it. Yup, it's all the little things I used to do hon, get used to it.

Last edited by dday101798; 11/09/09 01:41 PM.

Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
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Originally Posted By: dday101798
Yup, it's all the little things I used to do hon, get used to it.


Yup, just wait until my XW has car trouble. She can barely pay the $500 monthly car payment, let alone maintainance! If your XW is anything like mine, she will begin to see the value you brought to the MR eventually. My XW emailed me friday saying how much she missed my dog and the times we had together. She still can't seem to remember the fact that she was a bull in a china shop and all the hurtful things she did. Although I forgive her, I can never trust her again.


Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08
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Originally Posted By: Sgfan
If your XW is anything like mine, she will begin to see the value you brought to the MR eventually.


Oh believe me, I'm certain that occured almost instantly with mine.


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
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Quote:
Then, S11 just blurts out, "oh yeah, Dad, if you get wrestling tickets, Mom says she'll go!".

My jaw just dropped, I look at her like, 'really', and she's just gleaming with this 'hell yeah' look and says something to the effect of wanting to do things now. What is with THIS change of heart all the sudden?


Something I've been curious about, do you think this is good for the kids? I'm NOT saying you're thinking of doing anything wrong, I'd like for me and XW to do things with the kids so they know we still get along, but does it give the kids the wrong idea?


Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."



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Not at all a bad thing for the kids. I have always extended an offer for her to join us, mainly to dinner when the boys and I "eat in the area". They have been highly upset by her unwillingness to do so. They want it more than I do. Whether we get along or not, we are still their parents and that's where the line needs to be drawn as to how far our battles (went).

Now if someone were doing it merely to as an attempt to get an "in" with their ex-spouse, THAT would be bad for the kids.

EDIT- Oh, as of recent, our boys are more convinced we are done then I think XW and I are, so, certainly not a bad message for them.


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Joined: Dec 2007
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I think your kids might be ok about that, but don't you think going out to eat with your X will make it more difficult for you to detach and move forward with your life? I find the less contact I have with X, the easier it is to detach.


Me 53
D18, S24
karen43 #1870392 11/09/09 04:34 PM
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Well, we've had yet another 4 months now of barely any contact and this time around has helped me really just let go of her. I look more forward to starting life over and getting back on my feet than drabbling over what we had together.

The dinner or any other premise of a 'family night' as she and they now put it, is simply for them. They've wanted it for so long. As I've said before, in the bginning last year, even right after her moving out and in with OM, she would still come over and have dinner with us at our house. So, why a year later and obviously with down to zero percent probability of anything would it be a problem for her? Me, I could care less as I have, ya come or you don't, and if you start b/s, you leave, simple as that.

I guess it's a gamble wortha taking. I'm hurt more by the look in the kids faces and their comments about her when she refuses. And to hear from such little minds, "she left you for him, and you stayed even after the divorce, what's the big deal?".


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
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And yet in life, another challange.

Tonight, it was announced that my cousin's son and his GF that moved out last year have gotten in over their heads financially and need to move back.

Which puts me.................

?

I did start to go black and shut down. But no. Lights on, head up. Time to reclaim my iife, some way, some how. I guess it is my sign to pick myself up and do whatever I have to and finally attain what I've NEVER had, a place of my own. I don't know how yet, but as always, I will find a way. Which means, I'll probably lose time with the boys, but I will do my best to make sure they understand.

The only thing that bothers me is that XW will no doubt see whatever time I can't spen withthem as an opportunity to run off and make her 90 mile move. I certainly hope she thinks better of it, for a re-stablalized sef-sustaining me, is not a person you want to piss off.

And as they say, business, is about to pick up [again]


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
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