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#1844967 - 09/25/09 03:53 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
So, some good noew, bad news on the health front.

Good news, EKG came back normal. So at least if for whatever reason she manages to get me worked up again tonight, I know I won't drop right then and there.

Bad news, they still don't know. Have to set up a CT scan for next week. much like the ER, the doc kept focusing on physical response testing, so still potentially a neuro issue.

Then some bloodwork on Tuesday, doc recommended I get screened for anything possible from X. Since things were great then drifted off to nothing, I figured she began the PA after the last time we were together, well, doc says, you never know.

At lteast with the bloodwork comes a possibility I didn't even think of. They will be checking my thyroid of which I had issues with not that long ago, but it was dismissed as nothing. So that may explain a lot.

And last but not least. Doc listened to me and took everything and agreed, weither or not it is a contributing factor, I am stressed the F out. And this time, no drugs were recommended (yet). It took her and a coleague to coherse me into it, but I agreed to a psych consultation. From there it will be determined if I need drugs or not, but I'd rather not and they know that and at least listen. (heh, but then again, if they don't listen, I can make their research funding disappear shocked )
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1845360 - 09/26/09 12:30 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
That all sounds mostly good to me! They haven't found anything seriously wrong--and you already knew you were stressed out way too much!!! It sounds like you're doing all kinds of testing so you'll figure out what's wrong. I hope you feel better soon!!!
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

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#1846065 - 09/28/09 09:10 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: karen43]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Thanks Karen.

So, all in all a nice quiet weekend with the boys. Friday kicked off without a hiccup. When I picked up S11 for dinner I 'served' XW with my complaint(s). Immediately upon handing her the envelope she asks, "what's this?", I said unfortunately it appears the way things must be. Without even opening it she knew it was about her lack of communication regrading the boys, she emotionally steered it into a personal light proclaiming how much she "needs to" and "would love more than anything to get along".

I merely said, that I could not handle it at that very time, plus, not in front of the kids. She opened the envelope, glanced it over, started to tear up a bit, then went to 'her' porch and read over the entire letter. Of course, OM had to stick his slimey nose in it, but she must of said something because he dissapeared rather quickly.

She did hoever much to my surprise agree to let me take them to the Cubs game on Thursday. I promissed I would take them to baseball game this sumer, so why not the last night game of the year at Wrigley? smile

That said, we pretty much just vegitated the weekend away. Played some games, went to a movie, cut S12's har. S11 helped me make a tray of baked mosticolli yesterday and made XW a tray of brownies belated for her b-day.

Much to my surprise, XW was sweet as apple pie last night when I brought them back. So that was a felief. Although she is up to something. The cars she had stashed away at her uncle's are now downstate as of yesterday. Speaking of her darling drunk uncle, he's apparently back to his old ways of sleeping off his buzz in the front lawn, and taking midnight strolls in the buff. Real cute, nice home inviornment X!

When I got back home, had a message from X's number S11 lost his school ID, foudn it in a couch and called back, much to my dismay agreed to put it through 'her' mail slot this morning. That was ackward. No one appeared to be up, or even home? Must be nice to sleep in so late. That, or they took the cars last night, as I could of swore I saw them on the way to drop the boys off.

Did faulter a bit for moment last night. I didn't hear my cell phone ring on the way home because a station premiered this neew Kelly Clarkson song that was pretty deep and to my shock very good. So that had me going, X's pleasent demeaner (and the mini skirt she had on, she's taken a few pounds back off and got her legs back crazy ), then a storm was rolling in. We would always sit on the porch together and watch storms roll in all the time, sometimes 'play' on them too.

Anyway, had a few margaritas prior to bed. Then decided to go in the crawl space and shut the vent fan down as the temp was dropping and it was no longer necessary. While I was in the crawl and on my way out, I screwed up. There sat my copy of DB, our wedding photo and rings. Suffice it to say, I cried myself to sleep. :crying:

Yeah, the shrink is going to have FUN with me. smirk
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1846216 - 09/28/09 01:08 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
WalkingMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 223
Sounds like you actually did a great job of setting boundries.
You're getting your life straightened out and she's noticing. I think the most important thing here now is giving your children what they deserve. She knows your a good dad.

I remember my XW saying that I would make a far better dad than she would be a mom. She was just too selfish to give to our marriage or children. As stubborn as she is, it will be a very long time before she will realize what she has done in full. I think that's the case with most of these WAWs. It all takes time. Well, I'm sure when she finds out that I have a girlfriend now, she'll freak and the process will accelerate. BUt I've moved on now and I neither want or need her anymore.
_________________________
Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08

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#1846228 - 09/28/09 01:29 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: WalkingMan]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Hey Sg, yeah you can rest assured your XW will respond in a variety of ways once she finds out you're letting someone else in your life.

Mine knows my boys ARE my life now. She also convicts me of dating someone she doesn't particularly care for. Well, yeah, you're right Sg, here come the boundires. She does not like it one bit when I say it's none of her business. She does not like it one bit when I am out, for whatever reason. I don't know how, but that woman has some like 'super-esp' or something. Every time I'm out she has S12 blow my phone up.

So yeah, boundries. I made it point blank clear in the letter that I "do not understand the continued anger and angst you continue to hold against me. Our marriage is over and we have released each other to enjoy each of our personal liberties in doing so. There is zero sense in arguing anymore. We are free to do as we wish as I gave you what you sought in a divorce with little resistance in that regard".

That was the only time the letter got 'personal'. it seems apparent the letter was either effective or she's got something else up her sleeve in the works. Either way, the point is out there to just drop it, you have what you "want" and now I'm entitled to do as I wish as well and getting all bent out of shape and not talking is only hurting the kids, not me.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1846324 - 09/28/09 03:46 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
WalkingMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 223
I'm pretty sure my XW seems to think that once she gets her life together, that's there's a chance again for us. The last time I met with her to sign the divorce papers she said she wanted to leave the door open and maybe sometime in the future there would be an 'us' again.

News flash: it's my turn now. She divorced me and thus all rights to what's going on in my life. Not to mention she doesn't even realize what kind of hell she put me through for the past two years.

You know what's really nuts about all this? Throughout all of our marriage, I really tried to help her find her own interests, passions and friends to help her keep her identity, yet she (even after the divorce) continues to copy/ mirror me. It's like she's still trying to be like me and I'm not even around anymore.
_________________________
Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08

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#1846338 - 09/28/09 04:07 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: WalkingMan]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
lol, like the news flash. Yeah my XW once again thought I was joking. Back at New Years when she was squirming like mad realizing, that I knew no matter what in February she'd be taking me to the cleaners, she thought I was joking. After listening to all her "I don't knows" and "I miss you so much, can't stop thinking about you", blah blah blah, I told her point blank, you have until February 1st to knock on that 'door'. Because come February 1st, I'm walking out of that door and never looking back.

Well, delay 2 weeks of unexpected legal proceedings and not seeing our son for his birthday, Happy Valentines Day Hon, I moved out and locked 'the door' on my way out.

I don't know, we were a tag team. Even when we had our quarrels, we worked together. The bum she selected in OM, does nothing. Complete loser. And an ugly one at that sick
Oh well.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1846362 - 09/28/09 05:00 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: WalkingMan]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9659
Loc: GA
That sounds pretty codependent of her. Has she had any counseling Sg?
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


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#1846376 - 09/28/09 05:25 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
WalkingMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 223
dday:

This exactly why most affairs don't work out. Sooner or later, it ends for one reason or another. Then, like my XW they realize they've lost everything. I can already see this comming with my XW. The OM is gone and she's surrounded by nothing by yes-friends who are just using her.

mishka,

Yes, she's in therapy twice a week and seeing a psychiatrist. She's very co-dependent (among other issues). Actually, when we got married, she took on many of my hobbies, passions and friendships. I saw it for what it was and encouraged her to spend time with her friends and find her own personal passions.
_________________________
Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08

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#1846388 - 09/28/09 05:43 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: WalkingMan]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9659
Loc: GA
TWICE A WEEK!!!!!???????? OMG! And I thought my once a week was pretty bad. DANG!
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
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