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#1843952 - 09/24/09 09:22 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
MsMelancoly Offline
Member

Registered: 04/26/08
Posts: 1106
I agree with mishka, once again - way to go!

Maybe to the court she didn't want to appear to not want the responsibility & also appear to be a good mother?
_________________________
Me39, XH45
Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats
Divorced 6/4/09
Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)

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#1843991 - 09/24/09 10:11 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: MsMelancoly]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
Did she benefit with child custody support being increased or not decreased?


Edited by karen43 (09/24/09 10:11 AM)
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

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#1844018 - 09/24/09 10:43 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: karen43]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: karen43
Did she benefit with child custody support being increased or not decreased?


Nah, support has been the same since the temp custody order of which seriously for the amount, pretty much covers groceries (2 growing boys love to eat) and maybe a little extra, but certainly not worth fighting for. And if she were worried if the shoe was on the foot and I had custody, I had already told her, I want nothing from her. But, there in lies the probable reason why she wanted custody, the state requires the non-custodial parent to pay child support, no questions asked. But, hell, just to give our boys a stable caring enviornment under my watch, I'd give her every penny back if I had to.

EDIT- and another part the probably pissed her off to no end was complete rejection of alomony, heh, she blew that by up and leaving 3 months too early.


Edited by dday101798 (09/24/09 10:45 AM)
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1844031 - 09/24/09 10:56 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9502
Loc: GA
OMG! That horoscope is priceless!! FRAME IT!
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH46 M42
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


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#1844072 - 09/24/09 11:31 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
WalkingMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 223
There's nothing like calling out the XW in the public forum of court. I'm sure she'll just swallow her own lies to keep from facing what kind of mother she's been. Being a bad mother is one of the worst things in my opinion to be (other than a bad father).
_________________________
Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08

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#1844127 - 09/24/09 12:22 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: WalkingMan]
NoCodeBlues Offline
Member

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 2580
Loc: North Carolina
Quote:
Being a bad mother is one of the worst things in my opinion to be (other than a bad father).


Actually, if you think about it, in today's culture being a bad mother is far, far worse than being a bad father. Fathers get such a bum rap anyway now of days -- they are automatically assumed to bring so much less than the mother to the parenting table. And with the bar set so low, it's almost expected that a father today will be lacking in parenting skills.

It's a rotten stereotype, of course. And in no way fair or realistic. But it is what it is.

And so when a mother is deemed to be bad, that seems all the more egregious simply because of her gender. A bad mother, so labeled, will carry a far heavier stigma, far greater shame. It becomes a challenge to their very womanhood.

Think of it, a mother being bad, being detrimental to her own children, especially if she's conscious of it.

I sincerely believe that is the chief reason that my xW has fought so hard to resist any notion she has failed or is failing our S's as a parent. Being recognized for her selfish behavior and for putting that ahead of our children's interests would tarnish this reputation she tries to cultivate with her peers. It explains why she would so readily slander me before friends and family, to make me the fall-guy for her destroying our family.
_________________________
Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.

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#1844146 - 09/24/09 12:32 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
Quote:
But, there in lies the probable reason why she wanted custody, the state requires the non-custodial parent to pay child support, no questions asked.
Bingo. You would give up the money, but she thinks like she thinks, different ways of looking at things, money being more important than kids. I used to think everyone kind of thought like I did: family is most important, believing in cooperating and fairness. But some people think differently than that.
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

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#1844705 - 09/25/09 08:50 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: karen43]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Arrrraaaghhh!

This lock of communication b/s over X's own problematic demons is really getting out of hand. Now, as of last night I come to find out that S12 has a dance at school tonight until 9pm. Thanks for letting me know! Really throws a monkey wrench in my plans now for the evening and trickling into the weekend.

This crap needs to stop now. I'm going to finish up preparing a short and sweet written complaint. However, since I'll have time to kill, I'm going to nip this crap in it's flabby buttocks. I mean, for crying out loud woman, GET OVER IT, our issues are dead, just like our M. That's what you wnated, that's what you got. Go about your life and leave mine alone. Do we need to buddies? Do we need to be snuggley-wuggley friends? NO. We need to be a mother and father as we shall ALWAYS be.

Cripe, I layed down and gave her her D she wanted so badly and all I ask for in return was the god given right to still be a intrical part of OUR children's lives. Nothing more, nothing less. apparently, too much to ask.

Ugh, doctor's apointment this morning, good thing I did reschedule it thoug, arm is going numb again after last night and the prospect of what will probably transpire tonight.

This crap is so crazy!
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1844936 - 09/25/09 03:04 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
WalkingMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 223
Yea, I know what you mean dday. My XW is creeping around the edges of my life and using financial crap as an excuse to remain in touch. Don't they understand that the divorce is closure!
They left and made our lives hell and they seem to think that we can be friends? One of the main tenants of friendships for me is trust. Now on that basis alone, my XW is disqualified.
_________________________
Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08

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#1844957 - 09/25/09 03:41 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: WalkingMan]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Well Sg, I have to look at it in a completely different light: no, I don't want her around as my 'friend', would be nice, but life would go on just as well. BUT, she does need to differentiate where OUR relationship ended, and where the relationship between ourselves AND OUR KIDS MUST continue.

No if's ands or buts about it and she not only has a moral obligation to do so, but a LEGAL one.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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