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#1840168 - 09/18/09 06:02 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
WalkingMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 223
Do you think that there's a possibilty that your XW may feel that your children don't fit into her lifestyle? What the heck does she do that she doesn't have time to make sure your kids are prepared for school?

My XW is in the same situation financially. I run my own company and the economy is hitting me pretty hard. My revinues are way down and my XW is a professional who makes twice what I do. Yet she still can't keep up with her bills and is just scraping by. I've got a great lifestyle with lots of travel, and she can't afford a night out.

What do these XW's spend thier money on??!!
_________________________
Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08

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#1840263 - 09/18/09 07:54 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: WalkingMan]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: Sgfan
Do you think that there's a possibilty that your XW may feel that your children don't fit into her lifestyle? What the heck does she do that she doesn't have time to make sure your kids are prepared for school?


I don't know what her current lifestyle is per sae. I do know that before partying became priority one, she was one hell of a great mother. So, I don't know if she thought she could just revert back to that person at the drop of the hat or what. I mean it was slow decline spanning over 4 years, the last 2 being the worst. But yet again, everybody by that time was neglecting each other.

She claims now that she works a lot. But then in the conversation later on, she doesn't ahve money becasue she doesn't have any time at work crazy But then again, that is how all subject matter goes with her, if you can talk to her long enough, what she said at the start of conversation will be the complete opposite by it's finish.

You know it's sad, really sad. Posting the first sentence in this reply made me brush away all the recent memories and look back to a truly wonderful person. I hope she finds peace in her life and can someday revert back to that person.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1840733 - 09/19/09 10:34 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
Quote:
Posting the first sentence in this reply made me brush away all the recent memories and look back to a truly wonderful person. I hope she finds peace in her life and can someday revert back to that person.
I hope she does too! I always wonder: are our WAS really the people that we married or the ones they are now?
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

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#1840747 - 09/19/09 10:47 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: karen43]
NoCodeBlues Offline
Member

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 2580
Loc: North Carolina
Originally Posted By: karen43
I always wonder: are our WAS really the people that we married or the ones they are now?


I'd like to know the answer to that one myself! Goodness knows I've spent many an hour pondering that question. But there's just no real way for us to know the answer, at least not in this lifetime.
_________________________
Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.

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#1840807 - 09/20/09 02:10 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: NoCodeBlues]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Ummm,

So what exactly do I do here? My cousin has a friend who is extremely, well, HOT! and is D'd and is on the short end of the stick as I am. Supposidly she's loolsy dating her first XH, and well, we can't seem to make eye contact for more than a second or two beause in my perspective, it's pretty intenese?

What to do? I'm supposed to pick up my cousin in 2 hours and meet the other person afterward. Do I go open? Do I shell up? Kinda lost here.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1840980 - 09/20/09 05:34 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
Did you meet her or not? I think it's good to be open to that, but just go slowly. That whole she's dating her exH? Is that true? If she still has feelings for him, that might be a huge problem. We all need relationships where there aren't 3 in it, this next time around!!!
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

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#1841015 - 09/20/09 07:43 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: karen43]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Yeah, played it cool calm and collective, good time, nothing materialized, but all and all good time.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1841245 - 09/21/09 12:43 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
So GREAT weekend. Guess I over analyzed the whole 'friend thing'. That's cool, though, not going to lose any sleep over it.

Nice queit and early night Friday. Saturday S12 called in the morning, he (they) was at the 'new' house in loserville. He was the only up, apparently X and OM were up 'partying all night', heh, real shocker. Then after getting a good chunk of the weekly yard work done, we smuggled counsin's friend in the back yard (her recent ex lives across the street, oh the drama of it all). Low and behold, we got caught, his son was selling boy scouts popcorn tins. Busted, lol.

So, S11 never called as I wanted to talk to him about him getting in trouble with the PE teacher. So, my cousin being the Irish she is, opts to call the house. I agree, and wouldn't you know OM answers the phone. She asks, "may I speak to 'S11'?" Dumb douchebag replies, "'S11' who?". "Umm, S11 (last name)". Dummy puts X on the phone who finally gets the phone over to S11. Cousin said X sounded trashed, heh, go figure. But S11 says he has a uniform in his locker now, but he had to give one to his S12.

Wait, hold up. I bought each of them 3 uniforms? And, S11 is about a good 50 lbs on S12, so how does that work? I told him we'll have to meet up after school and get him more, that is unacceptable, he seemed little concerned about facing a detention. So he asked what I had been up to, told him did yard work, he says the grass there is 'a foot high' and the lawn mower won't start and that's 'his fault'. Yeah, ok, as I've stressed to X when she stated moving there, how do you expect to get by when no-one in the house other than a 11 year old is mechanically inclined in any way shape or form?

But anyway, they were bored to tears, atleast the conversation ended when some kid asked him to come out for a bit. I just get nervous because there is a lot of abandonded houses down there that are very dangerously unstable. They promise me they don't go in them, but yeah right, kids are kids and will do EXACTLY the opposite of what you tell them not to do.

So, Saturday night, picked up cousin from work and met up with her friend and her XH, had a few beers, good time. Her X bailed early. We stuck around for a bit, and opted to head back to the house and get the fire pit going. Little did we realize by that point it was pretty late, an deverybody opted out to bed.

Yesterday, nice 'lazy day'. Watched my race, then some of the football game (go bears!), that was funny, my cousin is a Steerlers fan so although nobody was too enthoused to yell at the TV. I think I wimped out about 9:30 or so.

It was nice tho to go through a weekend and only consumee barely half the 'normal' amount of beer, etc that I had been accustomed to, turning over a new leaf thanks to my eye opene last Monday in the ER, time to slow down. On that note, not much changed there, arm still tingly, so the meds for the 'pinched nerve' clearly show it is not the case.

Well, that is all.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1841283 - 09/21/09 01:38 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: dday101798
. But S11 says he has a uniform in his locker now, but he had to give one to his S12.


oops that was supposed to be "his brother, S12" lol. laugh
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1842027 - 09/22/09 12:23 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Oh my goodness, the immaturity will not stop until someone gets seriously hurt.

Nice queit, relaxful evening. Then my cousin asks if I had heard from the boys. I say no, and no sooner than a minute later I get a text from X's phone, presummably sent by S11. S12, "was playing 'back to the future' and cut his knee open requiring stiches".

I reply, "what?"

No reply.

So I call. I get S11. S11 goes to inform me that S12 "was PLAYING IN THE TRUNK OF OM's CAR and got locked in, freaked out and cut his knee open an dgot 'like 5 stiches". All the while I can tell they are in the car and X, OM and S12 are F'N giggling about it!

How gosh darn irresponsible is that?!? First off, the trunk of a car, let alone OM's POS rust bucket? I was so libid. S12 refused to get on the phone. S11 said because he thought I'd yell at him. I told him there was only one person I wanted to yell at (and he knew it was XW, of which she refused to get on the phone, and he begged me not to anyway).

So, knwoing they were in the car, and receiving a call from S12 at 7:30 on Sunday from the house down there when they should have been on their way back here, I put one and one together and asked "when did this happen", S11 said about 3pm. Mind you I didn't get the text until 8:30pm. Si I said, "and why weren't you in school?" (calling the bluff). "Mom said we both had fevers and kept us 'home'.

I don't know what the hell to do, but this will not go unheard of, I guarentee it!
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
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