It seems to help to pre-plan some things you will replace the negative thoughts with.
My wife and I were discussing this stop sign technique the other day, and she came up with an interesting and helpful addition to it!
Picture this stop sign at a 4-way intersection on a country road. Once you have "stopped", you now have a choice to make. You can choose to go forward on the same path you've been, or choose to turn left, or to turn right.
Picture in your mind what's down the road for you in either the left or right turns. Her right turn was a mountain road, with lots of trees, with a stream running along side of it. Her left turn was a slow cruise along the ocean highway in a convertible.
Try to figure out what lays ahead for you in the left and right turns of your "thought intersection", and see if this helps you to keep from moving forward on the path you've been on!!
JJ
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This is great! All of the suggestions a terrific! I am having frequent OW thoughts lately, and needed a refresher course in thought-stopping. Thank you all~
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
As I am very new to the realizations that brought me here, I have a lot of thoughts I need to stop. Sometimes it seems like almost all of them need to stop.
I'm using the picture of a deadend road, ending at a precipice as my "stop sign" because if I don't stop, there will be a disaster. It is very important to stop.
Now, if I can only make a list or somehow know which thoughts to stop. If I literally stop ALL of them, I don't get out of bed, of course.
If I had my goals in mind - any goals that were reasonable - it would help. So, that's something it's okay to think about.
Stop thinking, except about goals. I'll post my one goal on the goal thread, I guess.
Im still working on the thought stopping process. Easier said than done. I believe most of my problem is the seperation that we have between us until I can get back to the states. Insecurities raise up quite a bit, sometimes Im better at thought stopping than others. Guess its something to keep working on.... God Belss, Eric
"A POSITIVE MIND IS A POWERFUL FORCE"
READ-PSALM 34:4-8
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=664071&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
I have a similar situation. My husband and I had been seperated since January and we just got a divorce on Friday. I didn't want the divorce and I truly beleive he didn't either. He is in the military and we used to fight all the time. When he was sent to NY I stayed in VA for my job. What a BIG mistake. I really miss him and I wanted us to get back together no maater what. He still says that he loves me, but he is not in love with me. I went to the hearing with him and tried up intil the minute he went in front of the judge. I told him that I was honored to have been his wife. He then brushed my hair out of my eyes and I held his hand and told him I loved him. He just stared into my eyes.. He even cried... It just doesn't make sense.. What do I do now? Have I truly lost him?
