I don't know that she's reaching out to me. She's trying to absolve herself of guilt. If she tells me that I can stay (even after the divorce) then it's on me if I leave. However, she cannot possibly believe that I would stay after this divorce is finalized.
By the way, I spoke to her lawyer. I was not served. These are papers that I can sign (should I agree to them) to push the divorce through without need of a lawyer or being served. I need to have the papers signed and back to her lawyer by April 30th if I want to go that route. For the most part, she's being fair in the papers, however I am not going to sign them. She can serve me in May.
I came home tonight and she was a bit snippy so I just left her upstairs. I came down here and am typing this up as we speak. I guess tomorrow I need to find a lawyer, though I really don't want to. Not only is it going to cost money that I don't have, but lawyers will usually push for divorce. It's how they make money.
I know that isn't over, but I really don't see it ending nicely. If she was truly having second thoughts she would have stopped this here and now. I just don't know what to do.
You know exactly what to do. Don't sign the papers. Don't get a lawyer yet. Act As If.....you need to decide what that is. She's snippey because she does feel horrible about this. You have created doubt in her mind. Continue like you have been and create even more doubt. If she wants this, let her do ALL of the work, do not make it easier on her. And if she wants to live without you, make it clear she is going to have to leave, not you. You are doing well. Stay the course and we're all here for you.
Notice the "snippy" in her. When does she do that? and what does it mean now? Seems that she expected you to react out loud and you didn't. She expected you to want to talk, and you didn't. She doesn't know what to expect now? See it? You are in control of what happens now. She is watching you and waiting for a response. It is good that you are taking your time. Let her think, skwirm and be bothered. She set things in motion and now she will see the results.
But how are you doing? Did you talk to your parents, friends? You may or may not need a lawyer. I agree with you not signing the papers but do you know what your options are now?
I can only begin to imagine your worst nightmares coming true, but hold fast. You have made changes, you have the control now, what will you do with it?
Notice the "snippy" in her. When does she do that? and what does it mean now? Seems that she expected you to react out loud and you didn't. She expected you to want to talk, and you didn't. She doesn't know what to expect now? See it? You are in control of what happens now. She is watching you and waiting for a response. It is good that you are taking your time. Let her think, skwirm and be bothered. She set things in motion and now she will see the results.
But how are you doing? Did you talk to your parents, friends? You may or may not need a lawyer. I agree with you not signing the papers but do you know what your options are now?
I can only begin to imagine your worst nightmares coming true, but hold fast. You have made changes, you have the control now, what will you do with it?
By the way, we all worried for you last night. Thanks for gives us a word eventhough it was tough for you. You are really a good man.
As far as the lawyer goes, I'm holding off for a week or so before I get to that. I may need to at least speak to one just in case. You never know what can happen and the last thing I want is to go into this without representation.
SLH- I cannot make her leave as the house will go to her and there's not a whole lot I can do about it. Long story with a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo, but it is one thing that I am positive of. That being said, she did not kick me out and has basically asked me to stay even after the divorce. I wont do that and she knows it. I can do a lot and I will more than likely stay up until the ink is dried, but there is no way I am going to live here if we are divorced. She knows how I feel about the divorce and I think it's preposterous for her to even offer. Regardless, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I didn't see her much today as I was pretty occupied with a lot of stuff and so was she. Then I had a class tonight and she was asleep when I got home.
Right now I'm going to stay course and continue to do everything I was doing and if she brings it up I'll simply tell her that there's a lot of information there and I'll feel much more comfortable discussing it after I've had a lawyer look it over.
The way I have this figured is I have until April 30th to sign the paperwork, which I am not going to do. If she still is wanting to go through with it she will have to have me served. At that point I have like 30 days to act on that paperwork, which I will use all 30. Her lawyer has a court day set in June, but it appears as if that court date is set contingent on me signing and agreeing with the paperwork.
Yesterday I was in a fog and I don't know if I told you all this already (and I'm too lazy to scroll down and check), but this paperwork was filled out in early February. Everything was done around the time I started posting here. So her head and mine were in a different place at the time filled all of that out, so things may not be as dire as they first appeared. I will keep you all updated and I really appreciate the support.
When I post here tomorrow, I am going to start a new thread so that we don't get locked out. Knowing my luck it'll happen when I least need it to, so I figure it's best to just be proactive about it. I'll post under DR as Please help! I think I'm in a Crisis 2" or something of that nature.
Talk to you all tomorrow.
And again thanks for everything. Yesterday was rough.
