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#1703921 01/28/09 04:27 AM
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Time to start a new thread -- this is the story so far:

King of Pain
King of Pain, 2
If I Could Change The World...
Used To The Pain
She'll Think Of Me
Walk It Off
Winner At A Losing Game
Better Now
Worried Life Blues
Don't Think I Don't Think About It
Key to the Highway

The song :

One Slip
Pink Floyd

A restless eye across a weary room
A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin
The music played and played as we whirled without end
No hint, no word, her honour to defend

I will, I will. She sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, our souls on fire
I lead the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave in to my decadence

One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, you won't forget,
There'll be no sleep in here tonight

Was it love, or was it the idea of being in love?
Or was it the hand of fate, that seemed to fit just like a glove?
The moment slipped by and soon the seeds were sown
The year grew late and neither one wanted to remain alone

One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life to a life
The one regret, you will never forget,
There'll be no sleep in here tonight...


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
NoCodeBlues #1703930 01/28/09 04:44 AM
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pretty deep song choice....

are you the first person, or the WAS?

I sometimes wonder which of us, him or I, was the one who just "went with it" at the time (me then, him now).

NoCodeBlues #1703932 01/28/09 04:47 AM
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Thanks to everyone on behalf of my sons.

If anyone is curious I posted some pics on the alternate universe.

W is definitely considering taking me to court now. She's now threatening to eliminate any shared custody. I try to stand up for my rights and obligations, and what is her reaction? To take my rights away altogether?

I can't believe she's going to let her L steer her into such a senseless and wasteful debacle. I am dead certain that the sadly deranged MIL is a serious instigator as well. I have no doubts whatsoever about that. It fits her M-O.

Oh, one thing from this weekend that I forgot to mention. I was driving to Church with my S's on Sunday morning. S8 had begun looking at his student bible for some reason. I was saying something to S4 when S8 piped up to tell me he had just run across a passage concerning D and began reading it aloud to me. It was Matthew 19:1-11.

I about fell out. I was already familiar with that passage (and just about every reference to D in the entire Bible), so I already knew what it referred to, but S8's encounter with this was a wonderful surprise. I know it was no accident that S8 stumbled upon those verses at that particular moment; God was definitely speaking to each of us then.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
NoCodeBlues #1703939 01/28/09 04:55 AM
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Hi NC,
Just stopping by to give you a hug and to let you know that you continue to be in my prayers. Pretty amazing about your son finding that passage. If that wasn't divine intervention, then I don't know what is!




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


Reincarnated #1703941 01/28/09 04:56 AM
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Originally Posted By: Donna...Found
Are you the first person, or the WAS?


I'm a LBS. But in reference to the song, I guess I'm the disillusioned voice of these lyrics, expressing the sad cynicism about how love can change a life forever, but that love itself might not last forever. Right now I am deeply regretting having ever gotten involved with my WAW, and I am chalking it all up to a "momentary lapse of reason."

I'm also a long-time Floyd fan.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
Yoyowife #1703945 01/28/09 05:10 AM
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Thanks, Yoyo. I went with the moment and gave S8 and S4 a bit of interpretation of this passage, explaining that the "hardened hearts" it refers to are hardened against God more than anything else, including the spouse they want to divorce.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
NoCodeBlues #1704030 01/28/09 11:59 AM
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When I read the lyrics, I could be the one saying the lines, caught up with what I had.

Or, it could be what happened to X, as he fell into his relationship with the OW, with no thought to the consequences. When I asked the question, I was wondering if you thought it could be stbxw's point of view...

Amazing thing about that passage; I read a good interpretation of it last night when I googled it.

Reincarnated #1704272 01/28/09 05:35 PM
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Quote:
I was wondering if you thought it could be stbxw's point of view


I don't think so, W hasn't truly sobered up from the intoxication of her sins yet. But it could become her viewpoint... some day.

I have heard lots of interpretations over the years for this one song. Whether it's about an unwanted pregnancy or STD's or whatever. Personally, I have always considered it to be much simpler/subtle than that -- that it refers to the natural attraction men and women find in each other and how so easily the "in love" feeling can lead us into actions that alter the paths of our lives forever, for both good and bad. I really think it speaks to the dangers of what I now know is called "limmerance", the intoxication of the "in love" feeling. In other words, Lust.

So, yes, it can be applied to these WAS's who commit adultery, whether they care to recognize it or not. But it applies equally to any of us with or without other commitments.

This song has an added, very poignant significance to me in addition. I distinctly remember that song playing on my car's stereo on the second date with W, so many moons ago now. We had just completed a very nice dinner and we had parked in a quiet, secluded parking lot of a baseball stadium, to talk and continue to get to know each other better. When this song came on, I paused in mid sentence saying something to W... I had always loved the song, and it was part of a cassette tape mix I had recorded -- when it came on I couldn't help myself but notice. I pointed it out to W, asking her to listen for a moment (I love Dave Gilmour's work.) And then we continued onward in our convo, obliviously. I was already ensnared by the heady feelings the song speaks of. It was too late for me at that point, and yet the song continues to haunt me, especially now.

I wonder if it was truly a warning I failed to heed.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
NoCodeBlues #1704281 01/28/09 05:43 PM
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As I went back and read it again, I still see the interpretation of the WAS's point of view...
she wouldn't defend her honor...
the one regret...with no sleep tonight.

I can imagine the inner turmoil that had to go through these people's minds, at least occasionally. They will never admit it, but they do know right from wrong, and until they could twist things around in their heads to justify it, there had to be moments of, What the hell did I just do?!

The thing is, will they ever come back to see this once they buy into their own justifications, or will they just stick to it, since it hurts less?
My in-laws are better my X stays right where he is right now, forever. He's the kind of person who can never be wrong.

Reincarnated #1704412 01/28/09 07:26 PM
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See, I kind of took that line ("her honour to defend") to mean they got married just to make her an "honest woman", so to speak. But it's in the wrong sequence in the song for that. I don't know.

But the sleeplessness mentioned I think we can all sympathize with, as a natural by-product of a R that has failed or is failing.

I'm still not convinced it is exclusively about infidelity or WAS's. I think it speaks to so many R's -- in general -- that are started under the pretenses of "love" but are really just excuses for satisfying carnal desires.

I guess because I also see this song as a woeful comment on M and R's in general. But that's just me. A good song like this tends to be open to various interpretations.

Quote:
The thing is, will they ever come back to see this once they buy into their own justifications, or will they just stick to it, since it hurts less?


It looks to me that too many of these WAS' have had to buy into their own spin and have made their deceit such an ingrained part of their existence -- just to be able to look themselves in the mirror each day -- that they become incapable of really extracting themselves from their own reality distortion fields.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
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